What are arguments and jokes?

We have to talk every day. Speaking is not only to express our views, but also a way to convince others. For the same problem, because people have different thoughts and personalities, their views and opinions on the problem are also inconsistent. The people we usually contact include family and friends, and some people we don't know but associate with. Sometimes it's just a chat, sometimes it's for business contact. Besides expressing our views to each other, we will inevitably argue with others on some issues.

When we face objections, arguments will naturally occur. When someone opposes our point of view, we usually feel uneasy and think it is an insult, so we will naturally find ways to refute it. However, the methods we use to refute are often very wrong, such as shouting, laughing and even threatening. In fact, it is impossible to win an argument by barking, laughing or threatening. We should persuade people, not reluctantly accept our opinions.

Psychologists have found that in order to win an argument, we must avoid scolding, intimidation or any coercive methods, and we should reason with each other calmly. They proved that this is an effective step through experiments.

When people argue, the most common mistake is to hurt each other's self-esteem. Everyone has self-esteem. When we argue with others, we can't directly blame each other's point of view, but we must leave some feelings for each other. It is wrong to reprimand others' opinions directly, even if you have good reasons, you can't convince them. If you laugh at other people's opinions, it will often arouse their disgust, strengthen self-defense and increase the difficulty of your argument.

One characteristic of human beings, which can be said to be universal, is to protect self-esteem. One person hurts another person's self-esteem, which is equivalent to hitting his life. If you do this, not only will you never win, but more people may argue with you. On the surface, the argument between people seems to be purely rational. But it's actually closely related to feelings. To win an argument, you should not only have sufficient reasons, but also know the art of argument.

Speech needs art, and debate is no exception. It's an art. It's necessary to blush. But few people say that a person will not argue with others in his life. If others argue with you, you can still stand calmly. Such people are rare. However, instead of arguing, it is better to say a few words, hit the nail on the head, put the problem directly on the table, be frank and make it clear. If the argument should also have art, then there are several points worth noting:

(1) salute before the soldiers: salute before the soldiers. You might as well say sorry first, apologize, be more confident, and then get to the point.

2 Implication and elegance: You don't have to shout out the argument, just to the point, one or two sentences is enough.

(3) Restraint and restraint: "Scold" calms him down and gives onlookers a chance to think.

(4) Be merciful: when someone is in the way, force the rabbit to bite. When the other party is speechless, they should take the initiative to back off and get together again to end a "farce".

⑤ Step down and bow: After the "play" is over, step down and bow, bring the other person a cup of tea and sigh "I am not patient enough", so that everything will go smoothly and my feelings will not be hurt. The other person may miss you for life. Why not?

6. Don't reveal privacy: Don't hurt people's self-esteem and reveal people's privacy when arguing. The so-called "trees are afraid of peeling and people are afraid of being sad" must not be careless.

Telling jokes is an indispensable art in today's social occasions, but how to tell jokes, a joke expert thinks:

(1) You should really study the jokes you want to tell; Most jokes must be carefully chosen and applied correctly.

To know the jokes that the audience wants to hear, it is best to treat all the audience as one person.

Don't tell jokes as soon as you think of them. It is best to wait until the atmosphere of the environment is suitable for telling jokes.

Don't speak too fast, try to be concise and to the point, and don't exaggerate the background of the characters in the joke.

Don't tell dialects or jokes about dialects unless you are an expert in dialects. If necessary, it is best not to end in a dialect.

6. Don't say "I laugh you to death", especially don't laugh yourself.

⑦ Don't tell yourself: "I'm afraid I'm not sure to tell a joke that will make you laugh." If you are not sure, you'd better not say it.

Don't say, "If you have heard this joke before, you can interrupt me at any time." Some people will.

Don't swagger as if it were true. Finally, if you do not pay attention to the above artistic skills, you'd better give up telling jokes.

Eloquence is not an isolated thing, it can not be separated from a person's personality cultivation. In novels, plays and life, we see that people with good eloquence are helpless to others and solve the problem in a few words. Does that really depend entirely on his eloquence? Behind his eloquence, there is really all his character cultivation as the background. So, at the very least, you should learn to like people, not one or two people, but many people. Only by doing this can you find it not difficult to speak in front of strangers.

Of course, this can't be learned immediately. It is inevitable that a person will put his own interests first. The closer you are to yourself, the more likely you are to be interested. If it is not necessary, don't force yourself too much for those who really don't want to get close to him. But for these people, if you really don't look at them and say nothing, I'm afraid it's not a good thing for you. You may be regarded as proud by the other party, and even sometimes he will take your unintentional neglect as an insult and hold a grudge. Therefore, you should also learn how to talk to people you don't like.

Chatting with people you don't like, you can talk a lot, and even make both sides gain a lot. As long as you are polite and very polite, don't touch the private affairs of both sides. Only in this way can we naturally and happily keep a proper distance between the two sides. This kind of distance seems to be a buffer zone between the two warring countries, so that the conflicting thoughts and feelings of both sides have no chance to meet. When the opposing sides have no chance to contact, there will naturally be no conflict. This principle can also be applied when you know nothing about each other. If you like this person and you are willing to make friends with him, then you should try to close this distance step by step to make it easier for everyone to get close.

If you want to know not one or two strangers, but a group of strangers, you can't find familiar people anywhere. At this time, you can naturally sit quietly. Just listen and see with your ears and eyes. But if you think that a situation like this is also a good opportunity for you to practice your eloquence, then you can really find a chance to speak. One way is to see if there are people like you sitting alone in the corner. Then, if you think you can get close to this person, you can boldly go forward and introduce yourself to him. At this time, except for some special circumstances, you are mostly welcome, because he feels lonely like you. Whether he really needs to talk to you or just to relieve loneliness, he will give you a chance to talk.

Another situation is to join an established group. In this kind of party, except for a few people who can't find a conversation partner, it's in twos and threes. A group here and a group there have already started chatting. At this time, you observe and choose a group that you seem to have in common with and may be easy to get close to, and sit down near them. Before you speak, listen to what they are saying, and judge whether it is appropriate for you to participate by the speaker's personality and demeanor. If you don't think it's suitable, you can try another group. But remember, before you speak, you must use your ears and eyes first.

In the process of talking with strangers, we should pay attention to the change of their attitude. Don't attach too much importance to your own interests, but also to each other's interests. If you want this conversation to be successful and enjoyable, you should pay more attention to each other's interests than your own. When the other person's interests change, you should be able to change the topic of conversation in time.

Pay attention to the other person's facial movements, pay attention to his eyes, pay attention to his movements, when he doesn't want to develop this conversation, when he expresses anxiety or indifference. For some issues that are most likely to cause disputes, such as religious beliefs and political views. When talking to strangers, try to avoid them. Even if you are an enthusiastic missionary, or think you have the responsibility to convince each other, you should pin your hopes on meeting each other in the future. Because these problems can never be solved in a few words, if you are too impatient, you will either have an argument on the spot, or the other party will just perfunctory you, or find an excuse to walk away, which is unpleasant.

"When talking to the boss, it is advisable not to kowtow, and don't be intimidated by his authority or power, thinking that we can do nothing but flatter and tame. We should maintain our independent personality, which does not prevent us from showing respect to him. Naturally, we should attach importance to their opinions, because they have leadership responsibilities in affairs and work. Besides, maybe they are superior to us in knowledge and experience. But when necessary, we should not be afraid to express our different views from them. As long as we are polite and humble and express our opinions faithfully, we can win each other's attention, not just flattering and echoing. Even though he likes to put on airs in front of his subordinates, he also plans for his own interests. Compared with ordinary Nuo Nuo-worshippers, he needs some insightful and reliable assistants. Flattery is indeed a dishonest behavior, strictly speaking, it is a cheating behavior, which may bring great harm to business work. If he is a talented person, he must know this very well. If he is a fatuous man, he is like a drunken captain. If you flatter him blindly, your safety cannot be guaranteed. If you have enough brains and considerable talent, find another place worthy of your energy and wisdom in time. At the same time, you should also know: don't treat your boss as your boss. Remember, he is not only your boss, but also a person. As a person, like you, he needs to talk to his friends about all kinds of problems. If you can convince him that you don't intend to influence business decisions through personal relationships, he is willing to treat you as a friend and talk to you about his children or how to spend the weekend. But there are also cheerful people who can be very approachable and take the initiative to approach you. Eliminate the fear and estrangement of his subordinates in various ways and encourage people to give him faithful advice. Faced with such a person, it is like facing a person with good eloquence, automatically chatting up you.