About super funny English jokes?

Joke, as an urbanized genre of folk oral creation, is an important means of communication. In Russian culture, jokes have always had irreplaceable special significance. I'll share it with you, hoping to help you!

Fall into a deep hole

Two guys were walking along a road when they met a deep hole on the side of the road. Out of curiosity, they went to check it out. When they looked down, they were surprised to find that they couldn't see the bottom. So they threw some stones into the hole, and listen ... nothing. One of them said, "man, that's a deep hole!" "

They thought they might hear something bigger hit the bottom. They found a big old cinder block and threw it aside. Pause and listen attentively ... they heard a voice, but it was coming from behind them! They quickly turned around and saw a goat coming towards them with its head down, flying, with its feet barely touching the ground, moving so fast!

The two men jumped out of its way in time, and the goat jumped past them and fell into this seemingly bottomless hole, heading for death. The two men looked at each other and said, "That was close! We'd better leave this thing before we die with the goat! " .

So they kept walking along this road until they met a farmer who worked nearby. Once again, these people put their heads together and thought that the goat belonged to the farmer, and decided to tell him what happened.

"Hi, Mr. Farmer. Do you have a goat? " One of them asked.

The farmer replied, "Yes, why do you ask?"

Then, these people told what happened in the cave and how they escaped from the speeding goat.

The farmer said, "children, I don't think that's my goat." You see, my goat is really old and lame with arthritis. He can't move so fast. Besides, I tied him to a big old cinder block. "

: the use of dogs

One day, a Sunday school assistant was taking a station wagon full of children home when a fire truck sped by. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck is a Dalmatian. The children began to discuss the duties of dogs.

"They used him to stop the crowd," said a young man.

"No," said the other, "he just wants good luck."

The third child ended the argument. "They use dogs," she said firmly, "to find fire hydrants."

I can't let him get away.

A male crab, a crab, met a female crab and proposed to her. She noticed that he walked straight, not sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away. So they got married right away.

The next day, she found that her new husband woke up sideways like other crabs, and she was very unhappy. "What's the matter?" She asked. "Before we got married, you walked straight."

"Oh, dear," he replied, "I can't drink that much every day.

We can't let him get away.

A male crab met a female crab and wanted to marry her. She noticed that he walked straight instead of sideways. Wow! This male crab is really special, she thought. I can't let him get away. So they got married right away.

The next day, she found her groom walking sideways like other crabs. She was deeply disturbed. "What's the matter with you?" She asked, "You walked straight before we got married."

"Oh, dear," he replied, "I can't drink that much every day."

A missionary is buying a parrot.

Are you sure it won't scream, shout or swear? Asked the preacher.

Oh, of course. The shopkeeper assured him that it was a pious parrot.

Did you see the string on his leg? When you pull the right hand, it will recite the Lord's prayer, and when you pull the left hand, it will recite the 23rd hymn.

Wonderful! The preacher said, but what happens if you pull two ropes at the same time?

I fell off my perch, you idiot! The parrot screamed.

A missionary is buying parrots.

"Are you sure it won't scream, shout or curse others?" Asked the preacher.

"Oh, absolutely not. It is a pious parrot. " The shopkeeper agreed.

"Do you see these strings on its legs? If you pull the one on the right, it will recite God's Bible, and if you pull the one on the left, it will recite hymns. "

"Great!" The preacher said, "But what if I pull two ropes at the same time?"

"I'll fall off the trunk, you idiot!" The parrot screamed.

: dead cat

Once upon a time, there was a man named Jim. One night, he let his dog out to relieve himself. He watched TV for a while, and then remembered to let the dog in. When he opened the door, he was stunned by what he saw! His dog is dead with his neighbor's cat in his mouth! "Bad dog! Bad dog! " The panicked person said.

He took the cat away and looked at it. He couldn't bear to tell his neighbor what happened, so he decided to clean it up and put it on his neighbor's porch. He took the cat to the bathroom and washed away all the blood and dirt.

It took him a long time. He had to wash it four times before he cleaned it all. When he dried it, he brushed its beautiful white fur and put on its collar. Because it was too dark, he slipped into the neighbor's yard and put the cat on the porch in front of the door.

The next day, he was driving to work and his neighbor was outside.

"Hi," he said. "Hi," Jim answered nervously. His neighbor said, "something strange happened last night."

"Oh, really? What's that? "Jim asked, sweating now.

"Well, my cat died yesterday. We buried it. It was lying on my front porch this morning!"