Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - The story of the flexibility of ancient and modern gentlemen

The story of the flexibility of ancient and modern gentlemen

1, humiliation of Han Xin's leg

A young man among the butchers in Huaiyin insulted Han Xin and said, "Although you are tall and like to wear swords, you are actually a coward." He insulted him in public and said, "if you are not afraid of death, stab me with your sword;" If you are afraid of death, climb under my crotch. "

So Han Xin looked at him carefully, bent down, prone on the ground, and climbed up from his crotch. People all over the street laughed at Han Xin and thought he was timid.

After Chen Sheng and Guangwu Uprising, Xiang Liang also crossed the Huaihe River northward. At this time, Han Xin went to Xiang Liang with his sword and stayed in the army, unknown. After Xiang Liang's defeat, he returned to Xiang Yu, who made him a doctor.

Han Xin made many suggestions to Xiang Yu, but Xiang Yu refused to accept them. After Liu Bang entered Shu, Han Xin left Chu and returned to Korea. At that time, he was still an unknown small official in charge of the warehouse. Later, Han Xin sat down and beheaded, and thirteen people in the same case were beheaded.

It's Han Xin's turn. Han Xin lifted up his eyes and saw Teng Gong Xia Houying. He said, "Didn't Hanwang win the world? Why kill a strong man? " Xia Houying thinks this man's words are unusual, and he looks terrible.

I let him go, talked to him, admired him, and advised Liu Bang. Liu Bang only appointed Han Xin as the official in charge of salary, and found nothing unusual about him.

2. Gou Jian, the King of Yue, tasted courage.

After Gou Jian returned to China, he never forgot the humiliating scene. Gou Jian hung a gallbladder in his room, and every meal should be tasted bitter to remind himself not to forget the bitter and humiliating experience in Wu!

He wore coarse clothes and ate, plowed and sowed with the people. Mrs Gou Jian leads women to develop sericulture and weaving. Gou Jian's husband and wife shared weal and woe with the people, which inspired the whole country and Qi Xin to work together to destroy Wu's revenge at an early date.

Gou Jian also used the minister's suggestion to bribe the prince of Wu and paralyze the other side; Buy the grain of Wu, and make the grain depot empty; Giving wood costs Wu manpower and material resources to build a palace; Spread rumors, alienate the monarch and ministers of Wu, and use honey traps.

Kill Fu Chaneng, make him stay out of politics, and kill Wu Zixu. Gou Jian, the king of Yue, also issued a decree to promote the population growth of Yue. Through a series of measures to develop production and enhance the combat effectiveness of the army, this rich Vietnamese country has the ability to take revenge on Wu.

3. Sun Bin plays the fool.

Sun Bin is a descendant of Sun Wu, a great strategist of the State of Qi during the Warring States Period. He studied the art of war with Pang Juan in his early years. Later, Pang Juan became the general of Wei State and won the trust of Wei Huiwang. Pang Juan is jealous of Sun Bin's talent.

He falsely invited him to Wei, but secretly accused him of adultery in front of him. Wei Huiwang was furious and ordered Sun Bin to take off his kneecap and tattoo his face.

Sun Bin pretended to be crazy and avoided being killed. Later, Sun Bin fled back to Qi, appreciated Sun Bin's talent and greatly used him. ?

4. Liu Bang surrendered.

At the end of Qin Dynasty, Liu Bang and Xiang Yu defeated the tyrant Qin Shihuang together. Xiang Yu wanted to be emperor, so he called himself "the overlord of the place of Chu". In order to consolidate his position, Xiang Yu awarded the title of Hanwang to Liu Bang. Liu bang had no choice but to accept the title.

On the way back to the fief, Liu Bang burned all the plank roads into Shu, indicating that he had no intention of expanding eastward, but also to guard against other people's sneak attack. Here, Liu got the general Han Xin.

Therefore, Han Xin suggested "darkness" to help Liu Bang defeat Zhang Wang and Xiang Yu, the overlord of Chu. Imagine that if Liu Bang refused Xiang Yu's knighthood, he would be put to death for "bullying the monarch". Obviously, Liu Bang's concession is a wise choice.

5. Sima Qian wrote historical records with great anger.

In the second year of the reign of Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty (the first 99 years), Emperor Wu asked Li Ling to escort Li Guangli, the general of the Second Division who attacked Xiongnu right Wang Xian in Jiuquan. Li Ling declined and invited 5,000 foot soldiers to ride alone to the court. Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty appreciated Li Ling's courage and agreed with him.

However, when Li Ling went to Xunji Mountain, he was met by Xiongnu Khan's soldiers. Rupert failed to help, but the Xiongnu soldiers gathered more and more. After running out of food and grass, Li Ling finally surrendered to the enemy. Emperor Wu was so angry that all his ministers condemned Li Ling's crimes.

Only Sima Qian said, "Li Ling has served and respected his relatives, kept his word to his scholars, and always cherished the heart of serving the country. He only received 5,000 infantry, which attracted all the Xiongnu troops and killed more than 10,000 enemies. Although defeated and surrendered, the merits can be reached.

I don't think Li Ling really surrendered to the enemy. He survived, looking for opportunities to repay the Han Dynasty. However, after the failure of Gongsun Aoying's Li Ling, in order to fight back against the Han Dynasty, Liang Wudi lied that Li Ling trained the Huns, so he married the Li Ling family.

Sima Qian was also accused of "wanting to be a teacher and lobbying Ling". The crime of false negligence is a crime of disrespect and should be beheaded according to law. Faced with the punishment of the great monarch, Mu Yi died. Although honor can be guaranteed, the book has not been completed and the name has not been established. This death is like a drop in the ocean.

Like the death of an ant. I think of King Wen's interpretation of Zhouyi in prison, Spring and Autumn Annals when Zhong Ni was in trouble, Qu Yuan's exile and Li Sao, his blind obedience and Mandarin, and Sun Bin's training in the art of war after rubbing his feet.

It was not until he was demoted that Lu Chunqiu was handed down from generation to generation. Han Fei was imprisoned in the state of Qin. He wrote 300 poems, probably written by sages to vent their anger. Finally, in those days, "Zang Huo's handmaids and concubines could still be the masters".

Sima Qian resolutely chose to be redeemed by corruption. At this point, Sima Qian was burdened with his father's unfulfilled ideals and was fearless in the face of capital punishment. Accomplish the mission of Taishigong with perseverance and humiliation.