What jokes can make people laugh until their stomachaches? The shorter the better, the hilarious, and the reward is high.

1, the mother complained to her son, "I wake up every morning and say' I'm sleepy'. Say' I'm starving' when eating,' I'm exhausted' when doing housework, and' I'm expensive' when taking the bus ... how many times do you die a day? The son waved his hand and said, "I'm bored to death!" "

2. In order to emphasize the importance of vocabulary accumulation, the Chinese teacher said to the whole class, "Use a word 10 times, and this word will accompany you all your life." A Qian, a girl in the last row of the classroom, suddenly chanted: "Nicholas Tse, Nicholas Tse ..."

The glass of Lao Zhang's house was smashed by a ball. A little boy came in sweating and said, "Sorry, I'll ask my father to fix it for you right away." An hour later, a big man came, repaired the glass and asked Lao Zhang for 50 yuan. Lao Zhang said in surprise, "Aren't you the father of the child?" The bearer was also surprised: "Aren't you the father of the child?"

4. Son: Dad, let's go to the circus tonight! Dad: Son, I don't have time. Son: According to the children, there is a naked aunt dancing on the tiger in the circus. Dad: OK, let's go together. I haven't seen a tiger for a long time.

A man said to his lawyer, "I want a divorce." I can't stand my wife running into the ballroom at night 12. " "Are you? That's unforgivable. What did she do? " Asked the lawyer. "Go and get me back!"

6. The painter tried to concentrate on painting, but in the end he couldn't resist the attraction of the model, threw down the palette and suddenly held the model in his arms and kissed him. The model pushed him away and said, "I don't want you to kiss like other models." The painter vowed, "I never wanted to kiss any model before." Model: "How many models have you had?" "Four." The painter replied, "A jar, two apples and a vase."

7. Wife: I'm not at home. You turn over the calendar when you look after the children at home. Husband: Why? Wife: The women in the calendar are so sexy. I'm worried about the children clamoring for milk.

When the manager of the clothing store came back from lunch, he found a bandage on the handbag of the clerk. Before he asked, the clerk told him a good news. "I finally sold that ugly suit I've been holding here!" The manager shouted, "I thought I couldn't get rid of that monster costume, thank goodness!" " Then what happened to your hand? "The clerk said," After I sold the suit to that guy, his guide dog jumped on me and bit me hard. "

9. An old man retired and taught parrots to talk when he had nothing to do. He must teach it every morning: good morning! After several months, the parrot still didn't speak. One day, the old man was in a bad mood and stopped teaching. Listen to the parrot shout: old man, today is great. Stop asking!

10, Mom: "Did you change boyfriends again?" Daughter: "How do you know?" Mother: "What I heard under our window last week was the cuckoo's cry, but these days it has become the frog's cry."

1 1, the tortoise was injured and asked the snail to buy medicine. Two hours have passed and the snail hasn't come back yet. The tortoise was so anxious that he scolded me: if it doesn't come back, I'll die! At this time, the snail's voice came from outside the door: I won't leave if you say it again!

12, snake and centipede are dating. The snake glanced at the centipede and said, Oh, my God! Why do you have so many legs? How much does it cost to buy shoes? The centipede is unhappy: Hum! Look, I don't think I have too many legs I think your limbs are incomplete, which is good enough.

13, mother snail said to the little snail: You are not young either. I'll take you to the village next door for a blind date tomorrow. The snail said, I'm only 12 years old, and I haven't reached the legal age. Mother snail said that when we arrive, you will be enough.

14, one day at lunch, a colleague remembered that there was only rice at noon, but he wanted to eat noodles. The customer comes to handle the withdrawal business. When leaving, my colleague said thoughtfully: Please take your noodles well and welcome to come again next time.

15, a couple divorced and fought for children. The woman confidently said: The child came out of my stomach, of course it is mine! Husband: Joke! This is simply nonsense and makes no sense. Can you withdraw money from the ATM? No one inserted the card!

16, Teacher: Why do wizards ride brooms instead of benches? Student: Because riding a broom is much more handsome than sitting on a bench, you can also pretend to be a sweeper when you meet an invincible enemy.

Doctor: Look at me. Patient: Thank you. Doctor: Thank me for what? Patient: My husband never lets me look at other men.

18, there was a man standing in front of the bus stop sign, laughing nonstop. People are curious and ask him why he is so happy. The man said, I fooled the conductor. What's the trick? I bought a ticket and didn't get on the bus!

19, the robbers broke into the bank and shouted with guns: Lie down, don't move! Everyone lay down without saying a word. The robber glanced at the cashier lying on the table and said, please lie politely! This is robbery, not rape!

20. A young woman coaxed her child: Sleep with your grandfather at night. The child doesn't want to, the young woman said, I will go if you don't go. Grandpa listened and said: educate children to be honest, and don't cheat children and the elderly!