Tell an interesting joke. I am in a bad mood. Thank you for your help.

I made up some 1 Yesterday I received a message from QQ asking to add friends: "I am your mother", and I immediately replied "I am your father!" I was rejected, and then I got a call from my mother saying, "Add me, quick!" " I had a good time in bed with my male roommate last night. Suddenly I feel that the atmosphere is wrong. Then I found him hard. I have been hard for 3 hours. I always thought that there was something in pp's eyes. I thought that hemorrhoids had fallen out, so I was soft and held it all day. I pulled it with toilet paper at night, and it turned out to be a bug ... it was already shocked by me. I just entered the house today and found a hundred-dollar bill on the table. Mom doesn't give pocket money at ordinary times. Is it kind this time? I can't help but feel happy at the thought of this. When I picked up the bill, I found a piece of paper under it. I picked it up and looked at it. It says: Today is your grandmother's birthday. Wait for me at home. Let's celebrate her birthday together. Attention-that hundred dollars is not for you, it is to attract your attention! I went out by subway at 5: 30 this morning. When I got on the bus, there was no one in the carriage, so I went to sleep. When I woke up, I found a man sitting opposite me, with his hands in his pants, pointing at me and saying! I once rented A Jin Tianyi in Manba, and when I saw the second page, I burst into tears. I don't know what the hell drew a circle on a character with a blue ballpoint pen and wrote, this is the murderer ... 7 I couldn't find my mobile phone at my friend's house that day, so I borrowed my friend's girlfriend's mobile phone and dialed it to see where it was. Enter my number, press the dial key, and my name saved by her will be displayed on the screen: SB3 8 Make love. I stopped to catch my breath, but my girlfriend was still moaning rhythmically. . . I went to the toilet today, and my stool was very heavy. As soon as I sat down, I farted with great momentum, and then I heard the voice next door: "Yang *?" I feel dizzy. My colleagues can tell who I am by farting. . . . 10 yesterday, I found some photos of half-naked women in my boyfriend's computer. She was wearing my skirt! No pat on the head, but it can't be me. I'm devastated. I'm trying to suppress my anger and prepare to question him. Suddenly realized it wasn't another woman. It's his 1 1. I can't take it anymore. Every time I play a kissing game with my girlfriend, I can feel her beard waving. 12 I confessed to the girl I like, and she said we were not suitable. The next day, I drove my family's horse 6 out to play and happened to meet her. That night, she texted me that she teased me yesterday. 13 Yesterday, in OOXX, it was getting better and better. LP turned to look at his watch and said, the fast girl has started. Come on, I got up and got out of bed to turn on the TV ... 14 When my boyfriend ML changed his posture, he imitated the clicking sound of Transformers. 15 put on lipstick when surfing the internet in the office, and I accidentally couldn't help it. I just wore loose suspenders today, so it fell into my pants. Then the boss who suddenly pushed the door in was surprised to see that I pulled out a small stick with problems in length and thickness from my crotch. 16 held a group meeting at school today, and suddenly I sneezed unexpectedly. I looked up and found my nose on the back of the girl in front. The woman didn't notice, so she secretly wanted to help her wipe it off. Just put your hand up, the girl next to you found it and shouted, "How can you wipe someone's nose?" ! ? "17' s mobile phone was stolen, and the damn thief sent a message to my mother saying that I was pregnant. My male 18 got on the bus in the afternoon, took out his bus card and stuffed it in the slot. 19' s ex-boyfriend stayed with me for a year and a half without saying I love you. Today, I accidentally saw his QQ file, which said I love you Yico Zeng! Going to work by subway in the morning of 20, it's crowded! There is a very lovely girl next to her. Kawaii is texting. I accidentally took a look and found that she wrote: "There are many people on the bus today, which is very crowded." After a while, I remembered something and laughed to myself. I didn't mean to look back for a while, but I saw this girl continue to write, "There is an SB standing next to me. "23. When I was defecating in the public toilet this morning, I felt that the toilet paper seemed to be broken and I touched the chrysanthemum when I wiped my ass. To make sure I smell my finger, it is really 24. Today, I fainted on the sidewalk. When I woke up, I was still lying on the sidewalk and people jumped over me. My handbag is still missing. 25. My boss called me today and asked me if I had time to work overtime. I said, "No, I have an appointment. "Then my boss said," Just say no, why lie? "... 26 Today, when I was taking a shower, my boyfriend suddenly jumped in. When we were a little excited, my mother put her hand through the curtain and left the condom in the bathtub. Say: pay attention to safety. Primary school and a classmate went to the toilet to pee. At that time, I took a curious look at my classmate's little JJ and found that he only had one egg (maybe one big and one small). I shouted in surprise: Why do you only have one egg? My classmate naively said a classic sentence: Do you have two? I don't believe that when I was in junior high school at the age of 28, I suddenly wanted to poop in class. At that time, girls were very concerned about face, and they absolutely refused to raise their hands to report to the teacher that they wanted to go to the bathroom. I held back, but I couldn't hold back and finally took a dump in my pants. To tell the truth, I felt very relaxed at that time, and then I went home to take a shower as soon as the bell rang. When I went to school the next day, my classmates told me that the bench I sat on after I left yesterday smelled bad, and all the boys in the class smelled it for a long time. I had a spring dream last night, and I was not idle until dawn with different women, and my back ached. Today, my wife said that she couldn't sleep last night, so she played with my penis when she was bored. When she became weak, she played a few times ... A few days ago, prospective Zhang Yue and her prospective mother-in-law suddenly visited my rental house, and her girlfriend went out to buy food. I sat awkwardly on the sofa for five minutes, and it suddenly occurred to me that my girlfriend said that Zhang Yue was a smoker. I quickly got up, rummaged through the drawers and handed a box of red pandas to Zhang Yue, when the air suddenly solidified. . . . Someone handed him an unopened Dulex, a green box with threads ... 3 1 Worked as an intern at the provincial radio station in college and shut himself in the editing room until midnight. I thought it was time to change WSJ in the toilet, and I was afraid of the empty dark corridor, so I changed it in the editing room. After a long time, a new person came. The host and I took her to get familiar with the environment. When passing by the editing room, the host said to the newcomer: So-and-so, don't do private work in the editing room and studio, let alone eat. There are security guards watching the surveillance 24 hours a day. Really, a dead heart has 32 beautiful colleagues taking their 5-year-old son to work to play. That boy talks a lot and keeps calling; "Beauty, beauty" I asked him: "Which beauty is calling" "Call my mother" "Is your mother beautiful? "I miss Doby." My mother is a beauty, a white and beautiful beauty. Especially my mother's thighs are very white. . . . . "Shocking words will come soon." Mom, take off your pants and let your uncle have a look. He doesn't believe it! "I was moved to tears, and so was my beautiful colleague. I remember that when I first reported for duty, a boy C in our dormitory went through the back door. . . We will give him a "welcome party" before reporting for duty after military training. Everyone went outside and bought some stickers that could be attached to their bodies, which looked like tattoos. Then they lit more than n cigarettes and smoked in the dormitory. Everyone still smoked a cigarette, although many people didn't smoke at that time. This guy was directly threatened as soon as he entered the dormitory. He was too honest. . . It's just that A shook out the tin foil that had been prepared for a long time and sprinkled some milk powder on it. . . . Baked it with a lighter below and politely sent it to C: "Dude, the whole mouth?" "Ha ha, I almost scared Qin Feng. . . Chatting with two people at the same time on QQ, one is my former roommate and best friend; That's too iron to work; The other is a girl I admire for a long time, who has just cultivated a little affection for me recently and is developing smoothly as planned. Prepare to confess to her in the near future. While typing quickly on the keyboard with my fingers, I skillfully switched between two chat windows with Alt+Tab shortcut keys. [Advertisement: photo design, please ask a professional designer to help you www.5 1ps.com] The tragedy happened unconsciously. My best friend came and gave me a huge red lip print. A piece of my ash suddenly fell on the keyboard. I quickly bowed my head and blew, at the same time, I knocked without thinking: "Your Y lip is really ugly." Then naturally press enter to send. Looking up at the monitor, I found it was sent to girls. 35. I am an ambulance doctor. Today, a patient told me that he had only six months to live. I wanted to say something encouraging, and finally he said, "Six months passed quickly. Be Big! "36, three-year-old son finished poop, I used to wipe his ass! My son is very good today, so stand in front of him and pout! I cleaned my son, put on my pants and ran away! I didn't take a step when I went out, and immediately hit my head against the wall! Look down at this. It's annoying. The rabbit tied two shoelaces on my foot together. I said, why are you so nice today? How careless! 37. I haven't been in contact with BF for a long time, and I usually only meet on weekends. I usually act reserved because I don't want him to think that I care too much about him. He came to Fukushima just now. Hi, he said he would come to see me tonight. Because he missed me, I told him he had something to do, and he pushed it because he meant it. In fact, he was very happy and sent a text message to my mother immediately. The content is as follows: mom, I won't go back for dinner today, and he finally asked me out, hahahaha ~ ~ but I didn't know it was sent to BF until the news came out. Now, I closed it. Depressed ... 38. When my cousin was in primary school, there was a summer vacation. The teacher asked me to keep a diary every day. He plays crazy at home every day, and when school is about to start, he suddenly makes up all the diaries at home. As a result, he didn't have a good grasp of speed. He wrote about the train stations on August 35 and 39 in one breath last night, and the train was late. I was really bored at that time, so I chatted with a buddy next to me. After chatting for a while, the train still didn't come, so I told you that the train is really late now. This guy pondered for a while, and then said to me with concern, "You won't have a flat tire, will you?" "... 40, I bought a ticket two days ago, and someone cut in line, so I stared at him. I didn't expect him to chase me out and scold me after I came out. Not to be outdone, I rushed up and scolded him. Then I found that he had a Bluetooth headset in his ear. MD It turned out that he was on the phone. . . 4 1 Once, I watched my dad change the gas tank. After he changed it, he skillfully took out his lighter and lit it at the interface, shaking it a few times. I shouted, "Dad, what are you doing?" He said without looking up, "Look for any air leakage! "... 42 16, I was talking nonsense with a sister in the typhoon shelter, and I said something on TV, so I started to fall in love with X. I said that gay men are disgusting and lesbians are better, at least they won't get sick. She said in a weak voice, I'm not gay ... I wonder, I said I'm not gay either. She said, you are testing me. If I agree with you, we will @ #%. If I don't agree with you, you will be joking. Sister T. T., I really didn't think of that. Why did I go for four years when I had that idea? Must I tell you after graduation? My aunt's child is older, so she lets him learn this and that. What a clever boy! My aunt said, "Come, read what you have learned to my brother. See if you learn well. "The child began to read:" What is the end of life? " ~!" I'm surprised ~ how old is this? ! You began to think about asking a profound question? ! Tut tut, this is all taught. . . The child then read: "Ginseng is a Chinese herbal medicine!" . . . .