Some examples of jokes after dinner.

1. In the shade, a couple are hugging and kissing. A doctor saw it and said to the man, "You are so confused. You should put her flat on the ground for artificial respiration. Go away and let me do it. I am a doctor. "

2. The leader spoke at the family planning publicity conference: "Children are the flowers of the motherland and the growing saplings, but you are constantly surpassing life. Do you know what will happen in the future? " One person in the audience replied: "Green the motherland!"

3. Someone cursed in the office: The director counted a ball! The director just came in: I am a ball, what are you? This man has a flexible mind: we count the hairs of the ball and unite closely around you.

4. In the restaurant, woman: Are you going to marry me or not? The man was silent. W: Don't think that nobody wants me. If I get angry, I'll find someone to marry here right away! The waiter came over: Miss, you scared away all the guests in our shop.

When a hungry wolf was looking for food, I heard a woman training her child: If you cry again, I will throw you out to feed the wolf! The child cried all night, and the wolf waited outside until dawn and sighed, liar, women are liars!

6. A prisoner was shot. Because the bullet was inferior, the first shot was not fired, and then the second shot was fired ... the third shot ... At this time, the prisoner cried: Brother, strangle me, it's really fucking scary!

7. After watching the black 100 meter run, an old lady wiped her tears and said, I was scared to death! Several coal diggers knelt in a row and were shot, but they fired without aiming. The children ran in fear, and the rope couldn't stop them!

8. Mr Huang loves revolution. In memory of Hong Jun, he named his son Jun. One day, he sent his son to class. When he saw the No.8 bus coming into the station, he shouted to his son, Huang Jun, run! Here comes the 8th! ~~~

9. A bear went to the mountains to start a business. The farmer gave him a sickle and the carpenter gave him a hammer. When the bear came to the mountains, he met a tiger. He was so scared that he held a sickle and a hammer over his head. The tiger said, I didn't see it. You're still a producer!

10. Farmers are carrying excrement. The foreigner looked at it and asked, Grandpa, how much is this sauce? The farmer didn't say anything. The foreigner put a little in his mouth with his hand and thought, I won't tell you how much it is a catty, and I won't tell you that your sauce stinks.

1 1. A male teacher said angrily to a girl who was sleeping in class: I'm so tired up there, don't move down there! If you don't cooperate, you won't even respond If you have nothing in your stomach in the future, don't blame the teacher! As a result, the whole class fainted

12. There is a couple in the park, which is very sweet. Girl says husband: I have a toothache ~ ~! The boy then kissed the girl and asked, Does it still hurt? The girl said no! After a while, the girl coquetry said: Husband, my neck hurts! The boy kissed the girl's neck again and asked, does it still hurt this time? The girl said happily, it doesn't hurt anymore! An old lady stood by and watched for a long time, but she still couldn't help asking the young man, young man, you are really amazing. Can you treat hemorrhoids?

13. Seven years after graduation, I finally accepted a big project to build a 30-meter chimney. The construction period is two months, and the cost is 300,000, but it needs funds. It was finally finished at the end of last year. Today, people went to check and accept, and they were scolded to death, and they still had no money. Shit, the picture is upside down. People are going to dig wells!

14. The doctor asked the patient how the fracture happened. The patient said, I felt sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. A fucking asshole passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two.

15. The tortoise is hurt, so let the snail buy medicine. Two hours have passed and the snail hasn't come back yet. The tortoise scolded in a hurry: I will die if I don't fucking come back. At this moment, a snail's voice came from outside the door: You fucking said I wouldn't go.

16. A drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by. A policeman came over: What's the matter? Drunk: I don't know. I just arrived.

17. If someone keeps a pig, he gets bored and abandons it. However, if the pig knows the way back, it is useless to abandon it. One day, he drove a lot of cars and abandoned the pig. He called home late at night and asked, "Is the pig coming back?" Answer: "I have come back!" " It growled, "put it on the phone, I'm lost."

18. African black girls travel to Shanghai and stay in hotels. Fire in the middle of the night. The African woman ran out quickly. A fireman was surprised to see it and said, my god, it's all burnt, running so fast! !

19. Mr. Huang loves revolution. In memory of Hong Jun, he named his son Jun.. One day, he sent his son to class, and when he saw the stop sign of the No.8 bus, he shouted to his son: Huang Jun, run, the No.8 bus is coming! ~~~

20. When a hungry wolf was looking for food, I heard a woman training her child: If you cry again, I will throw you out to feed the wolf! The child cried all night, and the wolf waited outside until dawn and sighed, liar, women are liars!

2 1. An official got out of a taxi, took out a new bill from his wallet and handed it to the driver: "I see you like clean money as much as ordinary people." The driver took the bill and studied it for a while and said, "Actually, I don't care how your money came from."

22. A number of teachers from a university co-edited an English-Chinese dictionary of the tourism industry. In order to show his professional level, a teacher publicly accused the editor-in-chief of the dictionary and said, "Your dictionary is wrong! Tourism. No, it should be "tourism". In fact, "tourism" is good, and "tourism" is also correct and more commonly used. The teacher only knows one thing, but not the other. He made a fool of himself in front of everyone on the spot. What is even more ridiculous is that the teacher who said other people's dictionaries were wrong compiled a new English phrasal verb dictionary (English title: New English phrasal verb dictionary). He translated "latest" into "new". In fact, the "latest" English is the "latest". This joke is widely circulated on campus. {Content from Guo Yidun's blog}