Don't marry a man you think is "unworthy".

My friend Gao Jie wants to marry a well-proportioned man, but fate seems to like to play jokes on her. She made two boyfriends in Shuai Shuai high school in succession, and finally failed her. At the age of thirty, an ugly man who was eight years older than her pursued her, dated awkwardly for two years and finally entered the marriage hall.

After marriage, her husband loved and cared for her, but Gao Jie was unmoved and took it for granted. He married him, and that's how he should treat himself. From then on, Gao Jie lived the life of a queen. Her job is easy. After coming home from work, she sat in the living room watching TV. When her husband came back to cook for her, she went online after eating, and her husband did all the housework.

After half a year, she planned to get pregnant, so she simply resigned. Her husband has to work during the day and can't accompany her. She simply took her mother to take care of her daily life and be a companion.

Mother came and saw that her daughter was a high queen and her son-in-law was a servant. She is not as complacent about her daughter's absolute status as a normal mother. She asked Gao Jie sternly, "You are husband and wife, and husband and wife should help each other. Gao Jiawen did this and that for you. What did you do for him? "

Gao Jie said, "If I marry him, he will be satisfied. Besides, he hasn't said anything. You should say me first. "

Mother with irate look:

"If you are not satisfied, you can not get married, but if you get married, don't think you are married. Have you ever cared about him since you got married? Did you do anything for him? You think you are young, and his willingness to marry him is a gift. Arvin is a good man, but he can tolerate you for a month, a year, even five or ten years, but can he tolerate you for a lifetime? Everyone is a human being, and everyone wants to be cared for. Ten years later, you are no longer young. So what do you have? Arvin loves you and cares about you. He is a good husband. I don't think he climbed on you, but you climbed on him. If you continue like this, he will file for divorce ten years later, and I will not stand on your side. "

Gao Jie was scolded by her mother, but when she calmed down, she knew that her mother was doing her best and she was right. She did go a little too far.

When her mother saw that she was educated and looked better, she earnestly said to her, "Noble people, whether you are a princess, whether he is a servant, whether he is a young master or a girl, as long as you are married, you are two equal people. If this cannot be done, this marriage will not be happy. "

At the urging of her mother, Gao Jie began to change her attitude towards her husband. When her husband was cooking, she helped her and began to learn cooking from her husband. When her husband sweeps the floor, she cleans the table. When her husband comes back from work, she will ask him if he is tired from work.

After lowering her posture, she was surprised to find that her husband had many advantages. He is generous and tolerant. He works so hard every day and has to do so many things when he goes home, but he never complains. He is considerate and always takes care of himself. He is kind and affectionate, obviously very bad to him, but he never cares about it and pays without regrets.

In this way, Gao Jie began to be kind to him willingly. Her husband found that the changes in Gao Jie not only made her happy, but also cherished her more than before.

When I went to see her last month, she said happily to me, "It's a good thing my mother woke me up at that time, otherwise I might lose a good husband." "

Gao Jie has a wise mother, which is her greatest luck, but my other friend Yu Hong is not so lucky.

Yuhong and I have known each other since we were teenagers. At that time, we were both in high school. Jiang Jie, a boy in the same class, adored her, bought her breakfast, fetched water and carried her to the hospital. He pursued her for three years rain or shine and touched everyone around him except Yuhong.

Because Yuhong likes the monitor, and the monitor has good academic performance and is tall and handsome. Yu Hong secretly liked him from the first day of school. But the monitor doesn't like Yuhong, but he is bent on going to college. Yuhong likes the monitor just as Jiang Jie likes her, and even wants to be admitted to the same university as the monitor, but until graduation, the monitor did not fall in love with Yuhong.

Yuhong was lost, but she didn't give up. She believed that one day the monitor would be moved by her infatuation, but the monitor didn't, just as Jiang Jie didn't move her. Two years later, the monitor married a girl from the same company, and Yuhong gradually died.

Jiang Jie was always by her side when she was sad. I don't know whether it was moved by Jiang Jie's love for more than ten years or other reasons. A year later, Yuhong and Jiang Jie sent an invitation, and everyone was happy that they could make a positive result. Jie Jiang even smiled into a flower at the wedding.

But three years later, a news broke out in the classmate circle: Jie Jiang cheated!

Female students are filled with indignation and feel that once a man gets it, he will not cherish it. It took him only a few years to get it, so he moved on.

Some students privately think that Yuhong is not worth it. At the beginning, Yuhong was far superior to Jie Jiang in both education and work. I didn't expect him to be so ungrateful just after his career improved. During that time, Jiang Jie became the object that everyone in the class despised.

I went to see Yuhong. She was very angry and said to me, "At the beginning, he chased me blindly. After chasing me for more than ten years, you all saw that he was nothing at the beginning. I don't dislike him. Now that I am old, he doesn't like me. "

Yuhong said that she didn't dislike him, but I heard from her tone that she deeply disliked him.

About half a year later, I met Jiang Jie at the airport, accompanied by a petite and gentle girl. When he saw me, he was embarrassed to introduce: "This is my wife. I am divorced! "

Unexpected answer, but I still can't help but regret it. His wife was very considerate and went to other places by herself, leaving us a space for a private conversation.

Jiang Jie told me that he left all his property to Yuhong and went out clean.

He said: "I know many students have opinions about me, but they are not me and don't understand my feelings." I don't want to hurt Yuhong, but I can't stand it. I can only choose divorce. "

I know Jiang Jie will tell me something we don't know.

Jie Jiang said:

"When she accepted me, I was really happy and thought it was a matter of getting a clear picture. Even though I know she chose me because the monitor got married. It's okay. I just want to spend my life with her. But after I got married, I realized that it was just my wishful thinking. She doesn't even look at me. No matter how hard I try to please her, she will never praise me. I'm not afraid of your jokes. After we got married, I tried to hold her hand outside, and she couldn't bear it, let alone be happy.

I think maybe I'm not good enough, that's why she's like this, so I tried. I want her to look at me A person without background and power is really not easy to achieve something. Only she knows how bitter she is. Occasionally I want to talk to her about things at work, but she doesn't respond at all, and even impatiently tells me to be quiet.

There are often two voices at war in my heart: Is this the marriage I want? There is also a voice that you have worked hard to have this feeling, so you must cherish it. I hope that when I come back from work, she can give me a smiling face and ask me how my day was. I really don't expect her to be kind to me. I would be very satisfied if she could give me a little concern. You may think I'm spineless, wagging my tail like a little dog, but that's really what I thought. "

I don't doubt what Jie Jiang said. I met them several times at the class reunion. At that time, I felt that these two people were not like husband and wife, and they were too unfamiliar.

Jiang Jie went on to say:

"Even if I have great enthusiasm, I will cool down in the face of such a cold marriage. Gradually, I stopped praying for her love and response. In my marriage with Yuhong, I felt like an abandoned wanderer. Later, this feeling became stronger. I even feel that everything I do is meaningless and I can't find a sense of existence.

I am a person, and I also need the care and affirmation of others, especially from women. Then it became obvious. At first, I didn't care about her. She's just my assistant. But every day, she will remember to put a handful of medlar in my tea. She will remember my kindness. She will look at me with envy and praise me without stint. There, I found my dignity and value as a man. Slowly, from the perspective of marital loyalty, I was sorry for Yuhong, so I left everything to her. "

When another classmate accused Jie Jiang, I told him what he said, but that classmate didn't accept it: "He chased Yuhong for more than ten years. For more than ten years, Yuhong has been like this to him. He didn't know it before, but now he has an opinion? "

No one's efforts are unrewarded, even parents treat their children the same. Although parents do not ask their children how to repay themselves materially, they also ask their children to be emotionally close, not to mention the efforts between men and women.

Yuhong didn't realize this. She always thought that Jiang Jie was still the boy who had been chasing her for more than ten years. If she can marry him, she will give him the best return.

I have been exposed to many stories about girls getting married. They all said, "At that time, my conditions were much better than his. He wants nothing. I thought he would treat me for a lifetime, but I didn't expect to be so heartless. "

However, most girls who think that the other person is not worthy of themselves hold the idea that I am better than you in all aspects. I should have deserved a better man. Now that I am married to you, you can enjoy yourself. In return, you should treat me well for a lifetime.

They always feel that if they marry a man who is inferior to themselves, he should be grateful, be driven by her all his life, and hold her like a princess. This man makes money and does housework, and will never betray himself.

But not many girls can achieve this goal in the end. A man may be willing to pay unconditionally in the pursuit stage, no matter how his wife treats him. When he becomes a husband, he will inevitably ask his wife to care about him in life and warm him emotionally, because his role has changed and naturally there will be different needs.

Generally, girls with this mentality are easily hurt by their partners' derailment. A girl who thinks she is married thinks that the other person has climbed on her from the beginning. This idea is stubborn and strong. Even if the other person achieved something later, she wouldn't treat him fairly. She will attribute her opponent's achievements to herself.

Some girls have better conditions at home and will secretly remind each other: If it weren't for me, would you be today? You should remember my benefits, or you will be ungrateful.

She is willing to enjoy the better life brought by the other party, but she is unwilling to admit the progress of the other party, because if she admits it, she cannot control him at will. She is used to being a princess and doesn't want to accept the fact that they are equal. Even at this time, the man is better than her. She will choose to ignore, stay at the moment of marriage, and ask the man to remember from time to time.

The man has never been affirmed and appreciated by his wife. After a long time, he gradually understood that she didn't love him. Even if she marries him, she still doesn't love herself. When he meets another girl who is gentle and admires him, he will find a long-lost warmth and then get out of hand.

The most terrible thing is that a man has experienced cold violence for so many years. There is resentment and hatred in his heart, and he feels at ease when something happens. He even has the pleasure of revenge: you don't love me, someone loves me, you treat me like grass, and someone treats me like a treasure.

At this time, women will repeatedly remind him of the "kindness" he married at the beginning, and don't be "ungrateful". This is the last fact that men want to face. As long as the other party mentions it, he will think of how humiliating his past days were, and he will be even more ungrateful in the end.

So I often advise many girls not to torture their other half because of good conditions. How much he has paid for you will eventually be recovered in various forms.

No matter how different the conditions are at the time of marriage, both parties to the marriage should understand that they are completely equal in personality and soul. Only in this way can we look at each other's advantages and disadvantages objectively. What a man needs most is the affirmation and praise of his partner, which is more important than his partner's care and care, and is the value of his existence as a man. Only by doing this can men really appreciate you.