Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Every village will have a wonderful flower. Where are the wonderful flowers around you?

Every village will have a wonderful flower. Where are the wonderful flowers around you?

First of all, I'm telling a true story. There is a man in our neighbor's house who married a wife in her forties because she was disabled and hunched when she was a child. The wife he married married him for the third time. His first husband divorced and his second husband died. After he got married in our village, he went out to work with this person to make money. Then I gave birth to a child. Because the child has to go to primary school and can't go to school outside, she brought it back. The man went out to work again, so she took the child to school at home. _ She also brought a child from her ex-husband's house, so she gave birth to a child here, that is, two sons. He came back to pick up the children for school. However, she is really a wonderful person, and it is her parents' fault every day. As long as you play or do something in other people's homes every day, it is to speak ill of others anyway. She is really a gossip in the countryside. He is like this. If she said something bad, he wouldn't admit it if someone asked him. If she keeps asking him, she will take out the pesticide and tell that person about you. I said nothing. Are you going to make me drink pesticides? Later, he still did not repent. Basically, he still does. I often say this and that. I don't know how he did this. I feel that there are such people in our village, and it is really tiring to live. Besides, if she lies, she kills well. You don't think what she said is true, because she has been married for almost 10 years. Now we all know that basically no one will believe her, but no one will argue with her, because she always threatens others with drinking pesticides. So he is really a wonderful flower.

There is a man named Liu in our village. Because he is a little stupid and has a big nose, everyone has a nickname called "Erbi".

On weekdays, "Erbi" likes joking and pretending to be a ghost to scare people.

No, a widow in the village hanged herself during the day, and everyone went to help. When he came back, he said that Rise of the Legend's tongue was drooping, which was scary. He always kept it in mind.

In the evening, a group of people gathered in a primary school to chat, and they talked about eating goods. He rolled his eyes and thought that everyone was idle, so it was better to imitate eating goods and see how scary it was.

Everyone cheered unanimously. "Er Nose" took off his belt, put it on the beam and buttoned it. He stepped on the stool and put his neck in. I made an agreement with you. If you find something bad, you will shout and wave, and everyone will put him down immediately.

Everyone agreed with one voice. He just put his head into the buckle and kicked the stool over.

The following people looked at him with wide eyes, only to see that he blushed, his eyes were straight, his hands and feet were shaking and he could not speak.

Seeing that the situation was not good, someone quickly stepped forward and cut his belt. He fell down, and when he looked again, his tongue was already hanging out and he was unconscious.

After a while, he woke up slowly. According to him, he began to regret it as soon as he put his neck in, but he was speechless and didn't even listen to his hands and feet.

It is said that people who commit suicide begin to regret at the last minute, but it is too late.

After my husband died in bed for many years, I remarried for the sake of my children. Unexpectedly, just three years later, my remarried husband had a car accident and my mother-in-law fell ill in a rage. I am alone with two children, and I have become a wonderful flower in the village.

After my husband and I got married, life was ok at first. My family has several big cars, and in a few years, our family has built three floors. People in the village need not envy us too much.

Later, my husband suddenly became seriously ill and couldn't afford it. In order to treat him, the family spent a lot of money, but it was useless. He stayed in bed for three years. Later, he really couldn't hold on, and left me and my son.

The day after my husband's funeral, my mother-in-law called me over. She told me that it was not easy for me to take care of my son alone. Sons and daughters are different, and it is not so easy to find a good family.

Because my husband's younger brother can't see in one eye and hasn't married for so many years, she wants me to remarry him. We are all a family, and my son won't suffer from him.

My mother-in-law said it was her husband's intention. He knew that his time was running out. He wanted to entrust me and my children to him personally, but he left before he could say anything.

Although I haven't got over the pain of losing my husband, I promised my mother-in-law for the sake of my children, so I remarried. A year later, we gave birth to another daughter, and now we are closer.

But something unexpected happened. He went to town that day to buy ribs for me and my children. Who knew that in a car accident, it was gone on the spot.

I remarried a few years ago, and my husband left again. I am really a woman with bad karma.

The white-haired man sent the black-haired man, and her mother-in-law fell ill in a rage. People in the village are avoiding me, and I can't lift my head when I walk in the village, which makes people point.

My mother-in-law suddenly became seriously ill and took me aside. She took out a passbook. Open it and see that there are half a million in it. She went on to say that you are an indigenous person with bad karma, a woman with a son and a daughter, and you will definitely have a hard time in the future. Please take good care of this money.

After that, my mother-in-law left. Since then, I have supported this family. No matter what the pain is, you can only bear it yourself. Fortunately, the days are getting better and better and the children are growing up day by day. I'm also used to people in the village treating me like a wonderful flower.

This incident also made me understand a truth:

Man's fate cannot be changed, but life is his own.

Therefore, no matter how difficult it is, we should walk bravely, don't care about other people's eyes, and only rely on our own efforts.

I just always feel indebted to my children. I hope they can understand my difficulties when they grow up.

There is a man here who has no parents, started his own small business, married his first wife, and divorced because he was afraid of his wife's eating.

Take a second wife, southerner. She is tall and delicate, loves him very much and helps his business prosper. Later, his wife got pregnant and wanted to eat chicken legs. He didn't want to buy it anyway, saying it was too expensive. So where can I eat chicken legs? Where can I eat steamed bread? I was so angry that my wife cried.

Later, I gave birth to a son. In the second month, I was still afraid that my wife would not eat well. My wife wanted to drink some fish soup and promised to give her son milk. Instead of buying fish, he made noodle soup for her to drink.

He often goes to his sister's house to eat and drink, because her food is oil and water, so that his wife can have soup noodles and steamed bread at home.

When the child was almost one year old, his wife secretly returned to her mother's house with the child and never came back.

He married a third wife, and the second time, he had a seven-or eight-year-old daughter, who was also very capable. His business has been closed, and he is farming at home. Women work in the fields every day and harvest crops luxuriantly.

People think he should learn a lesson and live a good life this time. Unexpectedly, in less than a year, the wife took her daughter away again, still because she was afraid that he would be eaten.

When they see a woman buying snacks for her children, they will quarrel. The child paid the tuition, and he was not satisfied. The normal days of other people's families are like Chinese New Year for his family. Everything is too expensive for a woman. The woman couldn't stand it and left.

Now I live alone and often go to my sister's house to eat and drink. I wonder which unfortunate woman will be his wife again.

There is a woman in our village, who should be in her fifties this year and not married. In fact, there is nothing wrong with her, that is, she is not married, and she can't hide the well-being of her family. She will do some nonsense.

When I was a child, I often went to her house. At that time, she was only in her twenties, and she was quite nice, unlike now, she was psychologically distorted. Actually, it's her family's fault. She has to be superstitious and find someone to tell her that this life is not suitable for marriage. In this way, she is now an "old girl".

She is the eldest in the family and has a younger brother and sister. Now that her brother is married, so is her sister, leaving her to live at home with her old father. I remember when her brother got married, it was a big deal. Because she couldn't add anyone, she was so happy that she wanted to ruin it when her brother got married.

On his brother's wedding night, she actually dragged her sister-in-law and called an irresponsible woman into his brother's room. We don't know whether anything happened in the end. Early the next morning, his brother almost got divorced.

Later, when she saw that things couldn't be handled, she admitted that she invited someone over to do this just to destroy her brother's marriage and not marry him. She felt that her family had hurt her, so she didn't want to make her family feel better.

Because things are broken, there is a great gap between her brother and sister-in-law. Originally, her brother got married and naturally lived at home, but just because she was here, her brother didn't want to have any more contradictions with her, so he let others see the joke in vain and moved out with his wife.

So, this woman is really a little strange. If you don't want to listen to the arrangement at home, you can find someone to marry yourself. It's a pity that she didn't dare to do this, and she couldn't be nice to others, which made the home a mess now.

Hello everyone, I'm Lao Wang. As the saying goes, when the forest is big, there are all kinds of birds. There are many people in rural villages, and there are all kinds of wonderful flowers. Let me talk about a person in our village.

This man is over 60 years old this year. He was lazy when he was young. He went to Vietnam as a soldier and came back. Later, when I got married, my daughter didn't care about paying tuition. At that time, my father paid for his daughter's tuition.

There is an old saying in the countryside: if you want to smoke and drink, you are cheap. I think the description is very appropriate. He hangs around my house when he is free. I thought there was something, but there was nothing. I just came to smoke. I just got home and handed him a cigarette. I didn't say anything after I finished smoking, and then I took it out of the cigarette I put on the table. Usually smoke two or three cigarettes and leave, and then take one. Sometimes I find that there is another half box of cigarettes left on the table, saying that if you don't smoke this cigarette, I will take it.

Over time, I knew what his habit was. When I came, I put the cigarette in my pocket. He wriggled away when he couldn't find it.

He still lives on subsistence allowances, and his son's family owes a lot of foreign debts to treat his children, and the conditions are very poor. He doesn't think so. Sometimes when there is no money to spend, I go to my son's house to steal something to eat and sell.

Thanks to free medical care in low-income countries, he is in good health, but in winter, he is required to take him to the hospital for 20 days. In these 20 days, as long as he paid 200 yuan to the hospital, the hospital managed to have food and heating. It was very comfortable that day. There is nothing wrong with his health. Fortunately, he can only stay for 20 days at most. Otherwise, I estimate that he will stay in the hospital all the year round.

Does everyone say he's great? What should we do with such people?

There is a famous tigress in our village. Now she is over 70 years old. She was born with a noisy door. She doesn't curse people for violating male and female genitals, and she is not dumb for three days and three nights. I can call your ancestors eighteen generations, but I can call your grandchildren the next generation. I wish I could not scold your whole family at once. What's even more irritating is that every time I scold my husband, I not only don't stop it, but also let the tigress sit on the horse and scold, soak the tea in front of her wife and then go to work. When eating, I cooked the meal early and handed it to the tigress. I continued cursing while eating until the dead of night.

Although the tigress scolded for a long time, she was also at fault. Once a neighbor's child stole his peanuts and was found by the tigress. The child's parents went to apologize, but the tigress remained unyielding, scolding the child for rolling up the cliff and dying, drowning in the river and being killed when going out. When I was killed by a car when I went out, I immediately reflected. I rubbed my mouth with my hand and said I was wrong. If I am killed by a car, I have to pay for it. If not, I will continue to curse other more vicious words.

What goes around comes around. Since last year, I seldom heard the tigress swear. It turns out that the tigress who scolded a generation has serious heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes and asthma. 17 years, daughter-in-law and granddaughter-in-law divorced their sons and grandchildren respectively in the same year. My son and grandson are working outside, and they are unwilling to go home during the Spring Festival.

The "tigress" has become a lonely person, and neighbors and relatives are unwilling to deal with it. Do you think it's great?

There are a pair of wonderful stories in our village. The stories of uncle and sister-in-law are wonderful because they are both lazy. Their hobby is smoking and drinking in bed all day. Women smoke three or five packs of cigarettes a day. I filmed them both in my first issue.

The story has to start from a long time ago. There is something wrong with women's minds. After her husband died, they worked in the coal mine in the village. It is said that at that time, the couple could drink two or three Jin of white wine under the covers. Uncle sometimes does odd jobs outside, and two men earn money to support a woman. Later, the woman's husband died and her uncle took care of her. Uncle has no skill and has not married a wife. Neighbors said that a woman would marry him. She also has many ideas and opinions, saying she doesn't want to. Who said she would hit people? The woman is lazy and stays in bed all the year round, so that she can't walk steadily later.

A few years later, the woman became more and more confused and was sent to a mental hospital twice, sometimes good and sometimes bad. My uncle works as a cleaner in the village, and all the money he earns is used to buy cigarettes and wine. Every time he passed them, they were both drunk. Uncle said that women are fierce. If you don't give alcohol and tobacco, you will be beaten, caught, and sometimes take out a knife. Their family is even more shameful. Chicken manure is everywhere, and there is no place to waste it. Some bowls that have been eaten are moldy, quilts have not been washed, and women's heads are covered with lice. She felt very satisfied.

There is a man in our village who got married on a blind date at the age of 25, but refused to touch his wife after marriage. Instead, he secretly looked for a woman outside and went home to sleep on the floor rather than share a room with his wife. His wife was very wronged, but she was too embarrassed to tell her mother-in-law that they had never actually lived as husband and wife.

Until two years later, my mother-in-law was born. My mother-in-law always thought that her daughter-in-law could not have children, so she caught all kinds of herbs for her daughter-in-law. Finally, her daughter-in-law couldn't stand it anymore and told the truth.

The mother-in-law was very angry and asked her son the reason, but the man only told her the reason. He said that his wife was too dull and boring to ride her by herself, and she didn't even dare to hug her waist. She had bad breath. She is so plain, without the amorous feelings of a little woman and without any desire for her.

At the beginning, this wife was in love with her mother-in-law, but the man just didn't want to share the same room with his wife, so he fell in love with his junior high school classmates. Her mother-in-law thinks that if this matter gets out, she will lose face, and even if she dies, she will force the man and his wife to share the same room. The man was forced to obey, and his wife became pregnant and gave birth to a boy.

Later, that man's junior high school classmate dumped him. He has been depressed for a long time, and his wife has been taking care of him. He gradually discovered his wife's goodness, which was pleasing to the eye. Now his wife gave birth to two more boys.

That man's wife used to be a nanny of a rich family in our village. She is hardworking, quiet and tolerant of everything, but it's good that her husband finally came back.

My grandmother and her daughter. Two good people.

Introduce family background: my grandparents, uncle, aunt, my father. Uncle's daughter, cousin, father's children, my sister and I, and a younger brother.

When I was a child, my grandmother didn't like me, which was manifested as hiding delicious food when I went and taking it out when I left. But if there is something good, I would rather rot and expire than give it to me.

I thought she preferred boys to girls. After all, before my brother was born, there were only three girls, my cousin and my sister. But after her brother was born, she went to live in a temple, Antang. My brother is five years old. He doesn't even know that he has a grandmother. When he first met her, he asked who she was looking for. I finally understand that she doesn't like our grandchildren at all. Of course, she doesn't like my uncle and my father either.

My wives prefer my eldest grandson to be my uncle, while my father had nothing when we were apart. My grandfather is nearly one meter eight, my uncle is more than one meter eight, and my father is only one meter six nine. There is an old man in my neighborhood. I often visit his house. He told me that when I was poor, my wife invited my uncle to dinner, and my father could only drink sweet potato porridge, which later became my father's most disgusting food. My father is the shortest man in the family because of malnutrition.

When my parents got married, they had nothing but a bungalow in the country. Furniture and even washbasins are my mother's dowry. My parents were really poor then. When my mother was pregnant with me, my grandmother didn't wait on me and didn't even want to cook a meal, let alone take care of me.

My sister and brother are the same. If you have nothing to say just because you don't help my mother, don't like my grandson or daughter-in-law, and it's nothing if you don't help, then I have no more responsibility to you.

There was an accident. She broke her leg and was admitted to the hospital. My dad drove her to the county hospital. She is very busy, and most of the money is paid by my father. Then she asked my aunt and my mother to serve, and my mother didn't like it. Why didn't you help me when I gave birth, and now you want me to serve? But my mother went anyway. My mother is actually very soft-hearted.

My grandmother always likes to gossip and speak ill of us outside. She doesn't like my brother either, saying that my sister is rude to her. My parents are both studying medicine, and my father is honest and soft-hearted. He didn't quarrel with her, but she went too far and my father was cold.

My mother had a quarrel with her at the beginning of this year and fell out. Probably the first public breakup in so many years. I used to celebrate my birthday on holidays, and my mother bought clothes and shoes for me. I don't even have this treatment. My mother won't speak ill of her mother-in-law, and she never complains to people everywhere.

But this year, because of the epidemic, I was trapped in the countryside when I returned to my hometown for the New Year, and then I looked up and didn't see it. Contradictions come. My mom couldn't help it. It broke out. She hasn't been back to her hometown or met her since she came to the city in early April.

I hate her very much. She is very selfish. It is said that she is a Buddhist and lived in a temple for several years. However, she eats meat, especially greasy fat, every day except the fifteenth day of junior high school. Stew soup, full of oil.

During the Chinese New Year, I ate at my grandfather's house in the country, because there was no cleaning and no kitchen utensils at home. Every day, my parents basically buy and bring them, as well as rice and meat. I said I wanted to eat meat, but she couldn't bear it. She asked me to go back to my house to get meat. Laugh at me angrily. My dad didn't buy the meat in your refrigerator? You can't eat it if you give it back. I am speechless.

My hometown is very cold in winter, so I have to burn charcoal. She had a bag of charcoal delivered. When my mother saw it, she said not to owe anyone even this little thing. It's not that she has no money, so let her pay some money to buy this bag of charcoal. She didn't want to spend money, and then my mother quarreled with her. My dad had a fight with my mom about it, too.

Actually, my grandfather is quite rich. He used to be an accountant. He retired and got paid. He used to earn 2000 yuan a month, but now it has gone up. She also has a pension. Two people add up to a lot, and they live in the country, and there are two plots of land, so the living expenses should not be big.

The places that spend a lot of money are my parents and my uncle, such as illness, injections and hospitalization. Even my father bought rice. What else can I spend money on? She didn't want to pay more than 100 yuan for a bag of charcoal, just wanted to get something for nothing. I saw this great old lady on TV for the first time.

After she gave me trouble, she spoke ill of my mother in the village and complained that my mother was unfilial. I heard you. Just as my sister was about to start school, we went back to the city.

Yesterday she went to the hospital with a stomachache and asked me to wait on her. Although I didn't start school, it doesn't mean I don't have classes, okay? This month is the college exam month, and I have to prepare for one exam after another.

I just finished a course last Saturday. She also wants me to accompany her in the hospital bed, and she laughs angrily. Are you good to me? You gave birth to my dad, and my dad gave him what he deserved. What do I owe you?

You like your daughter so much, why don't you let your daughter wait on you? My aunt took care of it yesterday, but she still has children to take care of. My sister is not at home, so she asked me to go. Hehe, I didn't want to see my mother. Besides, she didn't tell her daughter that she was in hospital.

Usually it's my dad, and it's my dad who has an accident, but I'm partial to her daughter. Why don't you let your daughter come over every time I am in the hospital? My daughter can't afford to buy anything good when she comes to see her, but she still gives her money every time.

My aunt's second daughter is five years older than me. She studied in my house in junior high school, and my grandfather paid for her living expenses. Our sisters didn't spend a dime except the lucky money. You like your daughter so much, why don't you live with her, why don't you let her support the elderly, and why don't you let her pay for your hospitalization?

It is really poisonous. Her mobile phone doesn't even have my dad's or mine, and our home phone number is not saved.

I spent all my money on food today. Anyway, she just won't pay. I am a student, and my mother will hardly give me pocket money. I paid for it. I bought rice and paper, and then she didn't have my phone number. You know, I called her not long ago.

Then in the afternoon, she talked about how much money my graduation party gave me last summer and how much money her daughter gave me. She was hospitalized for two days, but her daughter didn't call, hehe.

Tell me more about her daughter.

Let's not talk about personality, let's talk about vision first. I had a daughter when I got married, that is, my eldest cousin. I was not born when I got married and had children, and my parents didn't seem to be married either. Then she divorced, and I don't know why.

Second marriage, married a poor man, no stable job, no house, no car and no savings. The house where they got married was built after my father paid 4000 yuan and my uncle paid for it. At that time, my father was in his early twenties in the 1990s. Second marriage, two daughters and a son.

My second cousin married at the age of sixteen and committed suicide. After drinking dichlorvos, she was sent to the hospital for gastric lavage by her father and came back. My third daughter, my cousin, stopped studying after junior high school. She has no money. She has gone to work. She told me that she envied me for learning. Divorced again, 18 divorced.

My son followed that man. He must be five or six years old. Last year, I was at a mixed construction site. The other party has a son who is a gangster. She wants to marry my cousin to the other's son. What wonderful work? I'm not discriminating against working on construction sites. Just the man who tried to cheat her out of money. My grandmother often helps her, and my two daughters have to pay for it. Cousin works, and son doesn't have to spend money.

The second marriage was divorced because of domestic violence, which is very strange. Why didn't you fight for it more than ten years ago? Have you been beating your wife for more than ten years? I don't understand.

None of the three people can live a good life, and none is worthy of my parents' uncles and aunts. And herself. My great aunt usually tells me: Don't call her menstruation in the future, just forget this person. Don't discriminate against divorce, or she won't help her build a house. She made it herself.

And my cousin, what a good girl, hardworking and willing to suffer. I felt sorry for her when she met someone, but then I wondered why she always found the wrong person. Birds of a feather flock together.

You give her a gift from 200 yuan, and next time she gives you 50 yuan. There will always be a box of peanut milk when you come to the door. You can leave your daughter at home or commit suicide. Do any of you want such relatives?

My grandmother was discharged from the hospital today. Her legs, feet and steps really didn't show that she was the one who complained about leg pain and couldn't even walk in the hospital.