The practical significance of cold jokes.

Brother, if you don't laugh after reading it, make sure you are crying.

Stephen Chow's classic dialogue on picking up girls (prepare yourself first .. ~ laugh to death)

First, the bus platform

Zhou Xingxing: "Miss, you stepped on my foot."

Pretty girl: "No, I'm so far away from you."

Zhou Xingxing: "I mean, if you accidentally step on my foot, you are stepping on my foot."

Pretty girl: "psycho."

Zhou Xingxing: "Wow, miss, you have a good eye. I do have a history of neurology. I usually see beautiful girls having seizures. "

Pretty girl: "You men are always like that, saying boring things to attract girls on purpose. It seems that you think you are handsome. "

Zhou Xingxing: "Miss, you are wrong. I never feel handsome, but I am handsome. "

Pretty chick: "Don't be so disgusting. I am going to throw up. "

Zhou Xingxing: "Before you throw up, may I ask you a question?"

Pretty girl: "fart quickly."

Zhou Xingxing: "Why do you deny my handsomeness without conscience?"

Pretty girl: "Get out."

2. On the bus

Pretty girl: "Why are you again?"

Zhou Xingxing: "Sometimes I am everywhere."

Pretty girl: "Do you know you are annoying? You have to sit next to me, not so many places. "

Zhou Xingxing: "Miss, you see, I'm just sitting in an empty seat, and there's only you next to that empty seat, that's all."

Pretty girl: "There is an empty seat in front, too. Why don't you go? " "

Zhou Xingxing: "Oh, I see. So do you want to see my ass, or do I want to see you and my ass? "

Pretty girl: "Get out ..."

get off (a vehicle)

Pretty girl: "Why did you get off again?"

Zhou Xingxing: "It's not because of you! I like hanging out. "

Pretty girl: "I accuse you of sexual harassment. Which unit are you from?" "

Zhou Xingxing: "You mean gold, or Joule, Newton?"

Pretty girl: "Do I know you very well? Always say such nonsense, sorry, I don't catch a cold! "

Zhou Xingxing: "Yes, we don't know each other at all. We are like two green strawberries on the same branch, sour and sour. "

Pretty girl: "I watched some Chinese Odyssey and learned a few words about Tang Priest. Do you think you are humorous? " ? "

Zhou Xingxing: "Humor is innate. Blame my mother. By the way, my father ... "

Pretty girl: "nerve."

Zhou Xingxing: "Your mother is crazy."

Pretty girl: "Your mother is crazy."

Zhou Xingxing: "Look at you, it's obviously your mother, but you insist that it's my mother. Do you want to ... "

Pretty girl: "Get out ..."

4. Kentucky Fried Chicken Gate

Pretty girl: "No way, why am I so unlucky to meet you again?"

Zhou Xingxing: "I found it, too. I think my predecessor's crime must be very serious."

Pretty girl: "You speak clearly! I want to kick your ass! "

Zhou Xingxing: "Don't you dare. I will scream. "

Pretty girl: "What's your name?"

Zhou Xingxing: "indecent assault."

Pretty girl: "Do you think someone will talk to you?"

Zhou Xingxing: "It doesn't matter if I don't. I will come back and be indecent. "

Pretty girl: "My God, you are such a scoundrel. You are really blind! " "

Zhou Xingxing: "Well, yes, otherwise there would be no so-called elite in this world."

Pretty girl: "..."

Verb (abbreviation for verb) in KFC

Pretty girl: "Don't talk, I get bored when you talk."

Zhou Xingxing: "I haven't said it yet. Can you be reasonable? " "

Pretty girl: "I told you to stop." You talk like a fly. It's disgusting. "

Zhou Xingxing: "Oh, so words can play such a big role. It's really earth-shattering Can I work part-time? "

Pretty girl: "Do what?"

Zhou Xingxing: "Go to the hospital to help people with gastric lavage."

Pretty girl: "You are hopeless. Go back and deal with things early. "

Zhou Xingxing: "I don't want anything before I die. I just want to say a few words to you, but I'm afraid you won't agree. Will you promise? " ? "

Pretty girl: "Go ahead, reasonable requirements can be considered."

Zhou Xingxing: "Will you treat me to KFC?"

Pretty girl: "Go to hell .."

Step 6 get out of KFC

Pretty girl: "Don't you have a girlfriend? Wandering alone on Sunday? "

Zhou Xingxing: "To be exact, I don't have a girlfriend, but I have a female friend. Why do you ask? "

Pretty girl: "Nothing, it's nothing to care about your lifelong events." "

Zhou Xingxing: Well, why not? You, like me, are my beloved. "

Pretty chick: "Who? .."

Zhou Xingxing: "My mother. She always likes to ask questions. "

Pretty chick: "If there weren't so many people watching in the street, I really want to hit you."

Zhou Xingxing: "I'm not afraid of others seeing you hit me. What are you afraid of? " ? What about you? Aren't you with your boyfriend? "

Pretty girl: "Never mind!"

Zhou Xingxing: "Oh, I see. Abandoned by her boyfriend, I want to find a psychological balance. "

Pretty chick: "Dogs don't spit ivory. To be clear, I don't want to find it. "

Zhou Xingxing: "Think of me, I will suffer."

Pretty girl: "Please stop disgusting me."

Zhou Xingxing: "I can be your extra unconditionally. If you need a boyfriend, please call * * * ".

Pretty girl: "We'll talk about it then."

Zhou Xingxing: "Can you tell me your phone number?"

Pretty girl: "We'll talk about it then. Stop bothering me and scolding you. "

Zhou Xingxing: "OK, then send a message to scold me."

Pretty girl: ....

7. Go home separately

Pretty chick: "Strange, I really want to send a message to scold him."

Zhou Xingxing: "Hehe. It is strange that she didn't send a message to scold me. "

Pretty girl: "It's over. Do I really like that scoundrel? " "

Zhou Xingxing: "Hey, hey, she doesn't like me as a scoundrel. This is the end. "