Encyclopedia of English short jokes in primary schools?

Ironic jokes expose the falsehood, evil and ugliness in the world to wake people up with laughter; Humorous stories bring laughter to life and show the wit, intelligence and optimism of Baqu people. The following is a little joke about primary school English that I brought. Welcome to read!

* * * A * * *

Quarterly dormitory pass

A new dormitory rule was announced.

New dormitory standards have been promulgated.

"The girls' dormitory will be closed to all boys, and the boys' dormitory will also be closed to girls.

"Girls' dormitories will completely reject boys' patronage, and boys' dormitories will not allow girls to enter. "

"Anyone found to have violated this regulation will be fined $20 for the first time."

"Those who break the rules will be fined $20 for the first time."

"Anyone caught violating this regulation for the second time will be fined $60."

"Those who violate the rules for the second time will be fined 60 dollars."

"Being caught for the third time will incur a huge fine of 180 USD. Are there any questions? "

If you are caught for the third time, you need to pay $ 180. Is there a problem? "

At this moment, a male student in the crowd asked, "Uh." ... how much is a season ticket? "

"At this time, a gay man in the crowd learned," so how much is a quarterly pass? "

* * * Two * * *

A bold guess

Our physics professor tried to get the class to discuss Archimedes' principle of water replacement. He told us that Archimedes noticed that when he entered a pool in a public bathhouse, the water rose and overflowed the edge. Excited by his discovery, he ran down the street and shouted, "found it, found it!" " The teacher asked if anyone knew what this meant. Our physics professor tried his best to lead us to discuss Archimedes' drainage principle. He told us that Archimedes went to the public bath to take a bath. When he entered the pool, he found that the water rose and overflowed the edge of the pool. Excited by this discovery, he ran to the street and shouted, "Eureka, Eureka!" " "The professor asked us who knew what he was shouting. A student stood up and answered, "I'm naked!" I'm naked! " A student stood up and replied, "I'm naked, I'm naked!" " "

Appreciation of English jokes in primary schools

* * * A * * *

Does the dog know this proverb?

The little boy doesn't like the appearance of barking dogs. A little boy doesn't like dogs barking very much. "Never mind," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: "A barking dog doesn't bite." "Never mind," said a gentleman. "Don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: "Barking dogs don't bite. "Ah, yes," the little boy replied. "I know this proverb, but does the dog also know this proverb?" "Oh, I know, but does the dog know?"

* * * Two * * *

Missing disability act

When a woman reported her husband missing, the police officer in charge looked at the photos she handed him and asked her if she would leave a message for her husband if they found him. "Yes," she replied cheerfully. "Tell him that my mother won't come at all."

A woman reported to the police that her husband was missing. The policeman looked at her husband's photo and asked the woman if she had anything to say to him if they could find him. The woman said happily, "OK, tell him my mother is not coming."

Classic primary school English jokes

* * * A * * *

run the red light

run the red light

Two men are driving in the street. They ran into a red light. The driver ran a red light. The passenger shouted, "Hey, why did you do that?" The driver said, "Don't worry, my brother always does."

Two people were driving, and the driver roared through the red light in Lu Yu. The passenger shouted, "Hey! Why are you doing this? " The driver said, "Don't worry, my brother often does this."

They met another red light and the same thing happened. The passenger was obviously unhappy and threatened to get off the bus the next time he got the chance. At the next green light, the driver slammed on the brakes and stopped slowly.

Another red light, and the driver still roared by. The passenger was obviously angry and threatened to get off at the red light again. When Lu Yu gave the green light, the driver slammed on the brakes and the car came to a screeching halt.

The passenger was confused and asked, "What's the matter with you? You ran two red lights but stopped at the green light. "

The passenger was puzzled and asked, "Are you sick? I just ran two red lights, and now the green light is green and you have stopped. "

The driver replied, "My brother may come from another road!"

The driver replied, "My brother may come from there."

* * * Two * * *

Magic golf

Magic golf

A golfer played a round of golf alone and was about to kick off when a greasy salesman ran up to him and shouted, "wait!" Before you kick off, I want to show you something great! "

A golfer was about to serve when an infinitely flattering salesman ran up and shouted, "Wait a minute. Before you serve, I want you to see something amazing. "

The golfer was very angry and said, "What is this?"

The golfer was quite upset and said, "What is it?"

"This is a special golf ball," said the salesman. "Never lose it!"

"This is a very special golf ball-a ball that will never be lost!"

"You'll never lose it," laughed the golfer. "What if you hit it in the water?

"A ball that will never be lost," said the golfer sarcastically. "What if the ball hits the water?"

"No problem," said the salesman. "It floats. It can detect the position of the coast and swim towards it."

"No problem. It can float, it can detect where the shore is, and then it can turn to the shore by itself. "

"Well, what if you hit it into the Woods?"

"What about falling into the bushes?"

"It's very simple," said the salesman. "It will beep, and you can find it if you close your eyes."

"Simple. It can beep so that you can follow the sound. "

"OK," said the golfer, impressed. "But what if your round is late and it gets dark?"

"How can I find it when it is dark that day?"

"No problem, Sir, this golf ball will glow in the dark! I tell you, you can never lose this golf ball! "

"This ball will glow in the dark! In short, you will never miss this dance. "

The golfer bought it at once. "Just one question," he said to the shop assistant. "Where did you get it?"

The golfer immediately bought the ball and casually asked, "Where did you get it?"

"I found it."

"I found it!"