Swearing jokes in M.ku6.com and Linxia dialects.

1, my female, 23 years old. Recently, because of a little trouble, I have been feeling chest tightness and poor breathing, and I feel nothing else. My mother was worried, so she took me to see a doctor. The doctor said there was nothing wrong. My mother was very worried and dragged me to see Chinese medicine. The doctor is an old man. After listening to the question, he asked me, "Do you have obvious chest tightness during the day and feel nothing at night?" In retrospect, I thought it was true, so I answered "Yes". My mother quickly asked, "What happened to my child?" The Chinese doctor dialed his glasses, looked up at me and said, "The bra is small!" " "I'll go! Everyone in the room is laughing, and my sister is a mess! In other words, I went home and changed my bra, put on my vest, and really breathed freely.

2. I went to elementary school and lied for the first time. Once the school asked for money, my mother gave it to 100, but it was confiscated in the class that day. After school, I saw that there were snacks on the roadside, so I couldn't help but buy three yuan to eat. After returning home, my mother asked, "Did you pay the money?" "Confiscated today." Mom: "Oh, what about the money?" Take out the money: "Here you are!" Mom: "How come there are 97 left?" Bow your head: "Oh, I accidentally lost three dollars when I came back." Mom smiled: ... the sound of palm touching face ...

3、

I have a classmate in junior high school. His brother studies in * * College. When northerners come to the south, colds are inevitable in different seasons. Over time, he will get used to it. One summer night, he felt that he had a runny nose between dreams and waking. Because he slept soundly, he was too lazy to get out of bed to get paper, so he wiped it with his hand, then wiped it on the quilt on the wall. After wiping it, he fell asleep slowly. The next morning, he "ah!" I woke up with a scream, and before I knew what was going on, I was shaken at sixes and sevens, "xx! ! xx！ ! Wake up! ! Wake up! ! ",he sat up in a daze, cheated, thinking how did this happen? ! The truth of the matter is: in fact, he didn't have a runny nose, but he got angry and had a nosebleed in summer. ...........................................................................................................................................

4. When I was in college, I just entered school. The school asked us to fill in a self-introduction, including sports expertise. My deskmate told me not to write about the sports meeting, or you will be forced to participate in the sports meeting in the future. So we wrote

Some of them are golf, tennis, skiing and so on. I want to turn around and remind the boys who are playing well in the back. As a result, I saw that his sports strengths were stepping on light bulbs with his feet and breaking his chest.

I just want to say two things about the tragedy that the giant panda killed the blue peacock in Wuhan Zoo. One: Panda is not a cat! It's a bear! Two: Any brightly colored creature should avoid staying in front of pandas for too long. You don't understand the sadness of black and white.

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I still remember when I was in middle school, there was a cold virus epidemic in the school. Because it is boarding, the infection rate is extremely fast. In a few days, more than 50 people had a fever, so the school quickly vacated the gym and all the patients moved in. There is a boy in my class who is envious because he has a fever and doesn't have to attend class. So one morning he ran to the infirmary to take his temperature, quietly took a mouthful of warm water in his mouth, took out a thermometer and looked at it, 39.5 degrees. Therefore,

He lived in the isolation area of the gymnasium as he wished. Unexpectedly, the afternoon he entered, the school worried that he could not control his illness and announced that the whole school would have a five-day holiday. So when I walked past the gym with my suitcase, I saw that.

The gang stood behind bars looking at us with a sad face. . . . . .