Who will tell me some hilarious jokes about the youth campus underworld?

Warning: This newspaper is for internal reference only. If there is voyeurism, the left-eye viewer digs the left eye, the right-eye viewer digs the right eye, and the binocular viewer digs the nose excrement, which is proved by the underworld brothers.

News 1) Mr. Bao Lei, the leader of Julien Gang, a famous club, was assassinated by a killer at the birthday party on1October 23rd, and was stabbed more than 20 times. According to the club doctor's diagnosis, it was an amateur killer, because Bao Lei died of a heart attack before being stabbed. As a professional killer, he wouldn't waste time and energy stabbing so many holes in a dead man. At the same time, most knives are 2-3 cm deep and not fatal at all. The family is offering a reward of 1000 yuan for the arrest of this person. My underworld brothers also agree that this amateur killer is really insulting and intends to get rid of this scum. If you have any clues, please contact this newspaper or call Mr. Bao Lei at 1399229378, whether he is alive or dead. This phone is used by Mrs. Lei now. Brothers who want to try a one-night stand can also call. )

News 2) On June 30th, 65438, a charity sale was held at the Japanese Military Museum for the products of 60 million underworld idols around the world. The machine guns, mortars, grenades, pistols, daggers, pedicure knife, nail clippers and other daily necessities used by Mr. Bin Laden, as well as underwear, socks and sanitary napkins, were swept away by many admirers of Mr. La in a few minutes, in order to compete for the pure copper spittoons, yakuza sets and sanitary napkins used by Mr. La. It is understood that all the proceeds from this charity sale will be donated to the poor students of Scimitar Children's Black Boy School, which will be used to buy teaching weapons.

News 3) A batch of diamonds and jewels worth 240 million yuan from Citibank Kowloon, Hong Kong will arrive in Victoria Harbour at 8: 30 pm on February 12. They will be escorted by the bank 12 pawnshop, equipped with weapons: AK47 sniper rifles (each bullet 100), and the van license plate number is EA2303. Armor thickness: 65438. 24 mm. Our robbery experts specially provided four robbery schemes in official website, including detailed advance and retreat routes, personnel allocation and weapons allocation. Welcome to download.

News 4) In order to cooperate with the launch of the new game Quak 14, Akry Bella, an American inclined plane family gold medal killer, will give a lecture on "The Road of Black Boys-How to gain practical experience in the game" in the godfather auditorium, and there will be a free lottery. First prize: an American Scud missile; Second prize: an Israeli R29 submachine gun; Third prize: the woman touches her chest. The game designer said that this version of the game is very real, and real blood will flow out after being shot. If you don't quit the game in time, you may even die.

Personal job hunting:

Black boy: 32 years old, from Kowloon, Hong Kong, honest in appearance and vicious in heart. When I was 8 years old, I began to peel apples with a knife. I have experience in murder and robbery, and I want to find a career as a thug or killer in Asia. Salary interview.

Unlocking expert B: 78 years old, from Shanxi, China. He used to be a technical consultant of a theft group, but now he wants to quit because other members have retired or died of old age. He has rich experience in unlocking, used various tools and opened thousands of locks. He once created the nail unlocking miracle of 1 minute, and was known as "the first person to unlock". Intention: theft gang or lock repair and key shop. The monthly salary is more than 20,000 yuan (10% commission for big business).

Advertising:

1。 Do you want to be as handsome as Mark? Please buy our "Ma Xiao" trench coat. This windbreaker was sprayed with 12 submachine gun before leaving the factory, and it has more holes than Macquarie's, which makes you graceful and confident. Mark, the killer knows!

2。 Have you had a bad feeling recently that something is going to happen to you? The "dead" insurance company now provides you with huge insurance, so that you can travel around the rivers and lakes carefree. If a person really dies, the whole family will benefit. The brother who bought it said happily: "After buying the' death' insurance, I look forward to getting a knife every time I go out. Hey, it really hurts my stomach. "

Gangdom asks for leave! !

Hello, Mr. Wang. I want to ask for leave. I didn't want to, but my father was cut off yesterday for collecting protection money. I can't find any staff today, so he asked me to make up the number.

Miss Wang, please rest assured that I won't be cut with a knife. Although I was only in Grade Two, I had a fight with Xiao Qiang in the next class last year. He was in the fifth grade at that time. Finally, I dragged him into the hospital and got eight stitches. Hospitalization 1 week. I went easy on him at that time. My father said that if you find fault with others, you must work hard, so I took Xiao Qiang to the hospital according to my father's persuasive instructions. So please rest assured that I won't let you lose face.

By the way, Mr. Wang, if someone bullies you, please tell me my name. My name is in this area. Who listened? Give me three points. If they don't give you face, you can give my dad's name and see who dares to touch you.

Miss Wang, I will come back to school as soon as I help my father. If the headmaster comes and finds me out, don't tell him. Because my dad was cut by that son of a bitch principal yesterday.

Miss Wang, please rest assured that I will remember your words. I won't go easy on you.

If I don't come back within two hours, please ask Mr. Wang to call the hospital and get some notes. Miss Wang, please believe me, I will return home in triumph.

I must help my father out of this tone. I'm sure you will also speak for my father. A family of six lives entirely on his protection money. Since someone is making trouble, I should show my face. Besides, if I don't cut that son of a bitch, the principal thinks my family is easy to bully and will cut off my family's financial resources. I went. ......