Don't fall into the thinking trap of "it's all because of the children"

After my son was born, I didn't even yell at him once, but I often couldn't help yelling at him during the suspension period, not because he didn't study hard at home, but because I was helping him in class all morning, and it was my turn to go to work in the afternoon, but he kept running into my study. Later, my son and I had a frank discussion. ...

According to legend, Shakespeare wrote King Lear during the epidemic prevention at home because of the plague. Last month, when all parts of the United States began to suspend classes because of the COVID-19 epidemic, all my business trips were cancelled, so I was ambitious and wanted to use this time to write a new book. As a result, a month passed and I didn't write a word. Every day, I run after two children.

I really hate my mediocrity. Writing this story as a joke on social media, the sisters kindly comforted: "Shakespeare doesn't have to worry about housework!" " ","he doesn't have to take care of the children! 」

At the dinner table, I complained to Jiang Piglet about it, and God's teammates comforted me: "There are no pigs and mini pigs in Shakespeare's family! 」

I immediately kicked the ginger pig under the table, but the pig with sharp ears heard my words: "so all this is because of us?" 」

"Of course not!" I quickly said, "That's because my mother has no talent for Shakespeare. 」

This is not to comfort the pig. As early as when Piggy was six months old and I decided to quit my job as a full-time journalist and become a freelance writer, I promised myself that I would never fall into the thinking trap of "it's all because of the children".

Friends who are familiar with me know that the direct reason for my resignation was that the newspaper I served at that time did not let my mother go to work to collect milk. Anyway, it's my decision to resign, not piggy's request. Watching him breast-feed for two years, grow healthy and strong, and never get sick before weaning, I feel very happy and feel that I have made the right decision, but I will never say to the pig, "It's all because of your mother."

Because, once such an idea is generated, it will not only cause unreasonable pressure to the children, but also make the mother fall into self-pity and have a negative impact on the parent-child relationship. Recently, due to the outbreak of the epidemic, classes were suspended, and I have a further understanding of this truth.

I never yelled at piggy after he was born, not once, but I often couldn't help yelling at him during my school break, not because he didn't study hard at home, but because I helped him in class all morning. It was my turn to go to work in the afternoon, but he kept running into my study, groping around for a while, showing me his paintings or Lego works for a while, and raising his face to praise. The work has been interrupted and the deadline pressure is just around the corner. It is no use coaxing him out. The first afternoon I yelled at him, "I've been with you all morning, and now it's my turn to go to work!" Get out! " And the child was scolded, but still indomitable and ran into the study to find me! At the weekend, I shouted pain at my throat. At one time, I thought I was nervous about winning the COVID-19 Prize, and my colleagues even drew it into a cartoon.

After discovering that I only shouted too much and caused a sore throat, I blamed myself on Aidit and thought, "It's all because of that little pig, it's all because of that little pig. Think about the small problems I saw before, from quarreling between my brother and sister to refusing to do Chinese homework, which made me very angry and felt that being a mother was too wronged.

At the beginning of this month, the United Nations issued a warning, pointing out that under the epidemic situation, adults were under great pressure, and staying at home for a long time did not leave a buffer for the conflict, which led to a sharp increase in domestic violence and child abuse cases around the world. UN Secretary-General antonio guterres called on all countries to take immediate action to protect women and children.

When I read this report, I felt worried. I also found that since I stopped working, I was really unhappy with little pig Jiang, because I took most of the responsibility of guiding little pig to school at home and fell into a self-pity mentality of "all because of the children". This kind of negative thoughts is exactly what I always remind myself to avoid!

I had a public discussion with piggy. He said that I seemed fierce, but he felt that he seemed fierce himself, because he was at home every day after classes were suspended. He also felt that his younger brother Mini Pig was annoyed and often swore at his younger brother. We decided that it was not easy for everyone during the epidemic prevention period, and agreed to remind each other: we can be angry, but we can't take it out on our families.

Back to the question of whether Shakespeare raised children alone. On the one hand, Shakespeare was an English male who lived in 16 to 17. Considering his background, it seems reasonable to infer that he doesn't have to raise children by himself. On the other hand, Shakespeare has three children, and his second daughter and son are twins. From the birth of twins to Shakespeare's appearance at the London Opera House, there were seven years when Shakespeare had no works at all and there were few historical records about him. Some scholars call these seven years "the years when his whereabouts became a mystery", so we really don't know whether he raised the children himself.

However, judging from Shakespeare's careful observation of parent-child relationship and Superman's parenting wisdom in his works such as King Lear, Hamlet and Romeo and Juliet, if he doesn't participate in parenting activities at all, we mediocre people can only bow to genius. However, I can at least do one thing: even if I can't write a new book, I can't use parenting responsibility as an excuse for my mediocrity!

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