Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Who can tell an interesting joke?

Who can tell an interesting joke?

Let the teacher spray blood.

1. "the bright line at the foot of my bed", the next sentence students fill in "Li Bai's sleeping sound" …

2. Under the sentence "Two heads are better than one Zhuge Liang", he actually filled in "the same smell" … The marking teacher immediately fainted …

3. Tao Yuanming's "Don't bend over for five buckets of rice", that classmate boldly wrote "Just give me six buckets" …

4. "If you are poor, you will be alone", and the next sentence is "If you are rich, you will have wives and concubines".

5. "Egrets fly in front of Mount Cisse", and the next sentence is "Tortoise crawls by the river in Dongcun"?

6. "If the sky is affectionate, the sky will be old", and the next sentence "If people are affectionate, they will die early"?

7. "Glowing glass of wine", the next sentence is "a lot of money and beautiful women" …

8. "Looking back at that year, the iron horse of Jin Ge", the next sentence "Look at the present, pester and fight" …

9. That's enough! "Luoyang's relatives and friends are like asking each other", and the students said to "Please don't tell him" …

1 0. "If the relationship is long-term," the classmate said, "Two people should get married."

1 1. "I hate books when I use them", and the students are right that "there is not enough money at the end of the month" …

12. "Clear water gives birth to hibiscus", and some people wrote "Heroes come out of troubled times" …

13. "How much sadness can you have?" Students fill in "Like a pot of Erguotou".

14. This is amazing! The incense burner in Rizhao gave birth to purple smoke, and Li Bai came to the bathroom. In an instant, Li Bai became a little eunuch!

A guidebook on wives.

Wife's name

Ordinary wife

Chemistry name married woman

Ingredients: water, protein, fat, ribonucleic acid, carbohydrate and a small amount of minerals, with fragrant smell.

Physical and chemical properties are acidic; It can be divided into univalent (married), bivalent (married) and trivalent (married) N-valent (married). Dissolve in sweet words; When it comes to diamonds, famous cars and luxury houses, the melting point decreases, so it is difficult to dissolve in Ding Bai.

Properties This product is a cola-shaped concave-convex anisotropic tablet with smooth surface, coated with various cosmetics, and has strong affinity for diamonds and platinum. Red when shy, green when angry, yellow spots and wrinkles will appear on the surface over time, but it will not affect the continued use.

The function is mainly aimed at single phobia, which has obvious effect on lovelorn and lovesickness, and can also be used to buy and take care of children.

Side effects include tracheitis, soft ears, visual fatigue and behavioral disorders. Serious adverse reactions can lead to skin damage.

Usage and dosage Take one tablet for life.

Contraindications Take more than two tablets in public.

Precautions: Use with caution in patients with renal insufficiency.

Specifications kg to n kg, the weight of the tablets exceeds the standard and does not affect the use.

Store at room temperature. Avoid being alone with groups of women and handsome men. It is forbidden to spend the night outside.

Packaging all kinds of fashion, shoes and hats, jewelry, handbags, changes with the season.

Valid until the date of divorce.

See the marriage certificate for the approval number.

The date of production depends on the ID card.

Father-in-law of production enterprise

The consequences of not wanting to see your wife

A man left home for work on Friday afternoon. It was payday, so he didn't go home. He spent all his salary partying with men all weekend.

When he finally got home on Sunday night, his angry wife was waiting for him and scolded him for nearly two hours. Finally, the wife stopped nagging and asked him, "What would you think if you didn't see me for two or three days?"

He replied, "I will feel good."

Monday passed and he didn't see his wife.

Tuesday and Wednesday passed, and he still hasn't seen his wife.

On Thursday ... the swelling disappeared a little, and he finally managed to see his wife from the corner of his left eye ...

Don't turn on the light yet

I remember in senior three, everyone worked hard all day, and sometimes they were in a bad mood. That day, it was cloudy and the lights in the classroom were poor. A classmate can't stand it. He shouted at a girl sitting near the light switch, "Why don't you turn on the light?" ! ! "The girl turned around and smiled:" Do you generate electricity? "

Selected talk in dreams

After grinding my teeth at night, one of my classmates smiled and said, "I haven't eaten human flesh for 500 years …" I was too scared to sleep all night!

The power of Erguotou

It is said that an American, a Japanese and a China are arguing about which country's wine is strong, and they all say that their country's wine is strong. After three days and nights of arguing, there was no result. Finally, I decided to experiment with mice. The first mouse drank American whiskey, staggered for ten steps and fell down. Americans are very proud! The second mouse drank Japanese rice wine, staggered for five steps and fell down. The Japanese are very proud! The third mouse drank the famous China spirit Erguotou and staggered for more than ten steps, but it doesn't matter. Finally, it returned to its nest. When the Japanese and Americans were about to laugh at the China people, the mouse came out of the nest with a plank brick and shouted, "Where is the cat?"