Hollywood virus mumushuang

When Ye Pei sent me back to the dormitory, it was already 10:30, standing at the door of the dormitory. I was driven crazy and my body wandered in mid-air. It was the sound from inside that made me fall to the ground. The voices are saying, "Mikan ... Mikan ... Mikan ..."

"You don't know, they hang out in Hollywood every day."

"Am I right? Jia Hao and Yang Chi have long since broken up. "

"Now I have a handsome graduate student and I have a brilliant marriage."

"Ah, this is a great office romance."

"Oh, I can't accept it. That Mikan can skip all classes during the day and be like a night owl at night. She is withdrawn and not beautiful. How can she have all the good opportunities? "

"She is a talented woman in our department and refuses to accept it. Can you write some articles and publish them in the school magazine? "

I have a terrible headache and dare not go back to the dormitory. I'm afraid to see curious eyes and fake smiles blowing up my mouth. I am more afraid of those who fantasize about my success to see my face. I had to run downstairs and wander in front of several dormitory buildings, like an anxious child who couldn't get out of the maze.

Back in the dormitory, my roommates didn't go to bed as I expected. The temperature of their eyes still falls on me, and my body is hot.

"I have a fever." My pale face must have scared them. Roommates' faces full of doubts and worries about themselves flashed across the night sky like lightning, and then they died.

This is no joke. I did have a fever that night. I still remember the mercury column as clear as a knife in the night sky. The virus amplified the fever into a disaster, and the disaster gave me a quiet night. That night, only Ann and I sat in each other's arms, like two teenage girls spitting out the troubles of youth, but there were no pink clouds, no rococo-style little love god surrounded by deep affection, only the emptiness and numbness in nothingness, and only one night eye was watching the other.

I said Ann, what a change. She is no longer the dull girl she used to be. He loudly called you arrogant and heartless, saying that you deserved it. Ann, are you sad?

I said Ann, love in Poirot's eyes is a golden branch and a jade leaf. He never cherishes girls. Are you really with him to show off?

I said, Ann, haven't you been hurt enough? Why are you so stupid, torturing yourself with this revenge mentality? They say you have money, and it's worse!

Ann answered me, and her voice floated into my ears from another nothingness.

Absolutely a simple boy, let him scold me well. I'm really selfish with him. I was wrong from the beginning when I was with Poirot. You know, those noisy girls exchanged glances. They said, you've hooked up, and I know I can't turn back. Instead of being gossiped, it is better to work together to make a match made in heaven. 50 seconds of intoxication, followed by a long period of lies and deception, this is our love at first sight. POLO and I played luxuriously, and made up for a sincere, plain and instant noodle-eating poverty with money. POLO took off this last mask, but I have endured loneliness and fear in it for too long and it has changed beyond recognition. Is there any other way for me to go? I'm not angry with Poirot, I'm angry with myself!

Ann only said so much, and her expression was extremely painful. In fact, Ann has been in pain. Only when she is in pain, Ann is in a world full of glory, applause and happy love. It was not the world that took her away, but the pain made her numb and made her unable to see her clumsiness and confusion. In fact, she died before walking down the red carpet. Her weakness, fantasy and charm as a girl died together. She only left her pride. She dared not let go of her pride until that warm noon, the only thing that supported her.

Late at night, I fell asleep with my dead kid in my arms. Later, my mother's phone rang in my ear. I touched my forehead and said, "Mom, I don't have a fever." It's dark, dawn, a new day, a new day, and many disappointments are waiting for me, but the world is normal and the earth continues.

Only once did Ann close her eyes and stop him.

eight

On a new day, Ye Pei asked me to meet someone. He is Ann's father.

Ann's father is sitting alone in the office, with sorted Ann's relics piled at his feet, and a beam of sunshine outside the window shines on Ann's father's white hair and pale cheeks. I dare not go there, because the old workers are lonely, and the silent message revealed by the white-washed workers' clothes is enough to make my tears fall as quickly as possible. Ye Pei went in and said to Ann's father, "Uncle Fu, you can take everything from Ann back. When the affairs are finished, you can go back to school to deal with dropping out of school and files. It's over. Xiao An also hopes that you can live happily. " Ann's father held Ye Pei's hand and said many words of thanks. Then, he gently stroked the pair of high heels that Xiao An left with him when he died. He suddenly said excitedly, "On Xiao An's twelfth birthday, I gave her a pair of pure white rubber shoes with soft soles. She was so happy that after wearing it for three years, she still wore several holes. Later, on the first day of high school in the city, she threw them away as soon as she got home. This must be a joke.

When he said the last sentence, he had choked up. I turned my back and my wet face was printed on the glass window.

Ye Pei then told me many stories about Xiao An's father: Xiao An's mother died when she was two years old, Xiao An's father worked in Lanzhou, and Xiao An finished junior high school in a poor school in the county ... When listening to these stories, I couldn't think of Xiao An's legend, because I couldn't overlap the shadows of the past two Xiao An's; I don't want to compile these stories into data, figures or other hard dogmas like Ye Pei. What psychology does in a few days is like a scalpel tearing Xiao An apart little by little. These are all I don't want. Lying on these stories, I quietly looked at this poisonous spring and looked at all the scenery hurriedly photographed by those soul-like eyes downstream of the mask. Ann is among them at the moment, and the drumming high heels hurt Ann's ankle. Only then did he realize that he was too tired to walk, and the feeling of touching the earth with rubber shoes as soft as grass had already drifted away. The road under her feet is the Avenue of Stars, but the pain of walking is nowhere to be pinned. She had to seek comfort in new fantasies. Maybe she imagined a moonlit night, a beach, with a lover holding her hand and her high heels in the other hand. Maybe these fantasies become only men driving LegacyB4 in vulgar life, which will bring her more fatigue. Yes, she is very tired. She can take off her high heels and throw them away, but when she thinks of standing barefoot in wandering eyes, she thinks of her first day in high school in the city, and her classmates saw her bare toes sticking out of her broken rubber shoes.

This is how Ann puts up with everything. On the other hand, Ann was born to be a good actor. Every look in her eyes, every gesture and even her tone of voice are gorgeous. She covered everything up, leaving only a beautiful body, sweet, crystal clear and bright. ...

After seeing Ann's father off in the afternoon, Ye Pei gave me a notebook. He said, "This is Ann's. Let me give it to you as a souvenir. "This is a very old notebook, but it is still very new. Only one page was used, and there was a line written on it:1June 28, 996, Sunny, First Love: I and Lu Wei's bike.

"It seems to be a very distant thing." I said.

"Xiao An is also puppy love." Ye Pei is joking again.

nine

Maybe the story will end on that day. Because we couldn't find new clues and evidence, Ann was ruled as suicide, and Ye Pei and I successfully completed our task. On a topic named "Full Record of College Students' Suicide Psychology", Ye Pei successfully completed the graduation project. He promised to invite me to Hollywood to celebrate as soon as my thesis defense was over. The dean asked me to give a speech on practical experience at the meeting of the whole department. The audience applauded and I floated back to my seat. After listening to the live recording of Oscar in the beautiful walkman, Nicole held up the golden statuette and said, There are many more serious things happening in the world, but Oscar is still very important to me. I thought: This is Hollywood.

Then something happened, and maybe you don't want to hear it anymore. I'm just a girl who likes jealousy, gossip, daydreaming and wants to become famous in one fell swoop. I don't necessarily have any extraordinary understanding. My mind is as weak as my body. So you can think that what I said before is not true, just my imagination. Ann's life may be different. So the story goes on.

ten

This is a very accidental opportunity. I met a man at the music weekend in a Hollywood bar. No, it's a band The lead singer is Xiao An's unknown boyfriend Lu Xiaobo. It was Ann Gunn who broke up with Poirot and met this rock band called "Gun of Freedom" in the "Allen" bar.

Lu Xiaobo was very excited that day, and I was also very excited, because I saw a brand-new Xiao An, an uncompromising Xiao An. Lu Xiaobo and his rock and roll released Xiao An's intransigence so vividly.

"When I first met her, she smoked like a boy. She even sucked in all the cigarettes without spitting them out. You know tar will burn her skin. "

"You must think she is the kind of girl who can do whatever she wants."

"As you said, all the quiet girls get off at jiaozi in the library, but we will invite her to have coffee with us soon."

"And then you were with her?"

"We hit it off very well. She knows rock and roll, unlike those girls who say Marx or something. " As he spoke, he pointed to Lennon's head printed on his clothes.

"Ann must think it's cool for you to play rock and roll, so do I."

"Ann is cool!" The guitarist Hu Ma interjected, "She played with us in that smoky and deafening bar. She played very selflessly, and the sweat on her face made her shine, you know? This kind of performance is three times a night and can make people tired. "

"After the performance, I told Xiao An to have a good sleep, but she insisted on going to school. She wears a pair of white rubber shoes with soft soles and runs faster than a bus. Later, our brothers learned that Xiao An's performance was excellent, and she was the kind of girl who was excellent on the regular road. "

"You are surprised!" I asked.

"It's hard to believe that only flax among our brothers continues to study with nothing. I advised Xiao An that he studied too much, so he wouldn't come to the bar to go crazy with us on weekends, but she still came every time. She said that the guitar was not needed, and it was very uncomfortable to put it there. She also said that the electric guitar made in Japan was given by my uncle. Not everyone is so lucky to get such a good guitar, and not everyone who gets it can feel real happiness with it. "

"Later, when we stopped doing weekend performances, Ann stopped coming. She said that she would sing night shows in this Hollywood bar in the future. "

"The contact is getting less and less. Are you separated?"

"At first, I often gave it some small gifts and free tickets to our bar. Once when she came here to see it, she stuffed everything into a big bag and said that she would never look for her again. She turned and ran away. Later, I saw a poster in my bag that she promised to make for the band when we first met. "

Hu Ma took out the poster, which was pretty good. Four very elegant boys were painted with colorful graffiti and lively smiles. What impressed me the most was that there were a pair of archangel wings in the background, which were treated with dynamic blur effect and seemed to flap gently in front of my eyes. I remembered the Hollywood bar on Halloween night last winter. I drank a lot of wine and looked up and saw Ann, like an angel. "There is a line behind the poster, which is Xiao An's last words."

I turned to the back of the poster, which read in green highlighter: Give a free gun-pretend to rock and roll, and you will not be free. Ann.

I don't know why, when I saw this sentence, I suddenly imagined Ann's stubborn turn back, that is, after Ansai turned and ran out of Liu Xiaobo's bag, Ann must have turned back. She looked back at herself with a lemon yellow electric guitar and left with Liu Xiaobo. This is the betrayal she wants, but what can she do except allow herself to be nostalgic? After all, the road between her and Liu Xiaobo is strange and ethereal, but Hollywood Avenue is really at her feet. She ran away quickly without giving herself a chance to choose, and rushed to the point of getting carried away.

"When Ann was running that day, I saw that she was wearing a pair of tapering high heels, which was really different from before."

I want to tell Lu Xiaobo that it is the usual Ann, but I can't say it. I just said, "High heels are always a bit pretentious, and Ann is no longer free."

Yes, there is no freedom anymore. Xiao An, who sings in Hollywood, can't find the feeling of sweating with Liu Xiaobo. She knew that people in the pub were not listening to her songs, but to her rumors. She stayed there just to make sure there was no freedom. At least she was loved by Hollywood. Just like this poisonous spring, people who live in seclusion in the city only yearn for the poetic life of "facing the sea and chopping wood to feed horses". They can't live without crowded materials and half-true and half-false love-eternal love for the city.

eleven

Yes, freedom has left us for a long time. Because of the virus, we can only stay on campus and wait for the increasingly hot weather to subtract our clothes. When we open our bright arms, there is a kind of forbearing happiness jumping in our gaps. Hollywood has been closed for more than half a month, and the torn poster on the door is only a corner, like a trembling little hand. The topic between roommates swings between body temperature and weight loss, and Xiao An's death is drowning in it, getting farther and farther. Most of the time, I just think of Xiao An, the girl who sang like an angel on the red carpet of a Hollywood bar I caught a glimpse of on Halloween night in 2002.

Ye Pei called. She said, "Mikan, I am in your school. Guess who I found in Ann's notebook, Simon Lu and Simon Lu. Come and whisper about water. I am waiting for you. "

Lu Wei, this is just the name on Ann's notebook. Somewhere in my heart, I think it has a brand-new relationship with Xiao An, different from Xiao An and Wan Wan, different from Xiao An and Polo, different from Xiao An and Lu Xiaobo. It has an absolutely wonderful temperament, just like the flashing green of the sun shining on the ground through the newly translucent tender leaves.

When I went to whisper, I took a shortcut by bike. It was a small forest cut down last winter, a corner forgotten by spring. When I rode through that grove, I kept thinking about sunny days and Ma Xiaojun riding Milan and smelling the burning weeds.

Suddenly, the back seat of my bicycle is very heavy, and the wheels are pressed against the stone sill in front of me. I can't hold my hand, so I lean back. A hand grabbed my shoulder, and the silhouette of my dark and thin face blew my face wet. This familiar smell is like the smell of burnt grass that Ma Xiaojun smelled in that summer, which is both illusory and real. Yes, I didn't expect Yang Chi and I to be so close. It shouldn't be like this. At the moment, I should whisper. Ye Pei ordered me lemon green tea and looked at his manly lips, eager to get wise and mature reasoning from it. I'm really addicted to these. And that night with a fever, I was holding the painful Ann, and she asked me, "Do you still love Yangchi?" I said, "No", this night did exist. I woke up and heard my mother's voice. Now, my flustered heartbeat gives me a more flustered answer. I fell in. My hand clung to the handlebar, but I couldn't push it. I want to put my strength in the palm of my hand and then turn around and wave it in Yang Chi's face, but I can't. My palms sweated layer by layer until the sweat sucked away my last strength.

"Mikan, I know I hurt you, and I really regret it. That girl has a boyfriend, and I'm just her ... Mikan, can you give me another chance? "

"No" I put tears in my eyes, and everything around me became blurred. I don't know how I pushed my bike away. I only feel that Yang Chi's figure has been behind me, accompanying me through the grove left last winter.

By the time I whispered, the tears in my eyes had dried up, leaving only soaked red eyes. Ye Pei saw me and joked, "It's been too long, and I want to cry." He handed a cup of lemon green tea, and then pointed to a boy with plain clothes and black-rimmed glasses and said, "This is Lu Wei, who is studying at the University of Technology." He pointed to me and said, "This is my partner Mikan, who studies psychology in Xiao 'an's school. "We talked a lot, a lot I don't know. I noticed Lu Wei holding his glasses frequently. I saw his eyes quickly soaked with tears. I looked at his red eyes with red eyes, and I further affirmed the wonderful relationship between Xiao An and Lu Wei. I took a sip of lemon green tea. God, the wet smell of the pond suddenly filled my mouth. That smell reminds me of the summer two years ago. Yang Chi and I held the admission notice of the same university and hugged each other tightly in the green sunshine that spread all over the earth. Ding's voice came. I saw a bike chasing another bike. It's Lu Wei and Xiao An. Our first love really came together, spinning in my pure pupil washed by tears.

twelve

From the whisper, I saw Yang Chi standing next to the dawn video store opposite. He stood there with a handful of instant noodles in his arms. I thought of my broken bone on Halloween, and now he is holding it in his arms. I think I can hold Ye Pei's hand and walk past him. But I didn't do it, because some words Ye Pei said to me at that time made me finally erase all the pain. He said, "Xiao An loves Lu Wei the most and has always loved him, hasn't she?"

When I said goodbye to Ye Pei, Ye Pei asked me, "How are you going to spend this boring day?"

I said, "Wait, wait for love to come back, that's the last clue."