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Children's humorous jokes and stories
Children's humorous joke stories 1
In ancient times, there was a forgetful person. He often forgets everything except himself.
One day, with a bow and arrow, he rode to a famous doctor for treatment. After walking more than twenty miles, he suddenly felt uncomfortable in his stomach and needed to defecate, so he jumped off the horse, stuck the arrow in the ground, tied the horse to a tree trunk and squatted down to relieve himself. After he finished defecating, he looked on the left ground and found his own arrow stuck in the ground. He was surprised and said, "It's too dangerous. Where did it come from? " Almost shot me! "
He turned around and saw his horse tied to the trunk on the left. He immediately said happily, "Although I was a little surprised just now, I found a horse."
He quickly untied the reins of the horse, turned around, stepped on the shit he pulled, and muttered, "Oh, no, I stepped on the shit. Unfortunately, my new shoes are dirty!" " "
Then he got on the horse and planned to continue to see a doctor, but the direction was reversed. After a while, he walked back to the door and forgot whose home it was. While wandering outside the door, his wife just came out of the room. As soon as she saw him, she knew that he must have forgotten everything again and cursed with anger. He said unhappily, "This eldest sister-in-law is really unreasonable. Although we seem to have met somewhere, we can't swear when we say it! "
Children's humorous joke stories II
Once upon a time, there was a blind fortune teller. He often lied, but people didn't catch him, so they couldn't punish him. Once, a child found a blind man and lied to him.
"My name is Du."
Children lead blind people to tell fortune everywhere. One day, they came to a pond. The child suggested taking a bath to cool off. The blind man was very happy, so he took off his clothes and jumped down to wash.
Who knows this is a child's idea. Seeing that the blind man was washed vigorously, he sneaked ashore and put on his clothes, and took the clothes of the blind man away.
The blind man took a shower, asked the child to bring him clothes, and shouted "Come and see" several times. Nobody cared, so he was anxious and stood on the shore and shouted:
"Come and see! Come and see! ……"
It happened that someone was enjoying the cool not far away. When they heard someone shouting "Come and see", I didn't know what had happened, so I rushed over to watch the fun. When I arrived nearby, I found a naked blind man standing on the edge of the pond shouting. The women ran away shyly. In this way, people made an excuse and went forward together to beat the blind man.
At this time, the blind man realized that he had been cheated by a child.
Children's humorous joke story three
In ancient times, there was a teacher who taught very well, but there was a problem: gluttony. Because of this problem, everyone is reluctant to ask him to teach.
The teacher had no way to make a living, so he had to beg the villagers to let him teach for a living. The villagers asked him, "Do you want seven bowls and eight dishes for dinner in the future?" He replied, "No." Some villagers didn't believe it, so they asked him to write a written statement. He quickly agreed, raised his pen, did not add words, and kept talking about things.
The villagers picked up the written evidence and read it to him again: "You don't need duck and fish, tofu side dishes are indispensable, and you can't want a penny." After reading it, everyone praised the teacher for changing.
At first, the villagers tried to treat him with good wine and meat. After a long time, they let him eat home-cooked food and stopped entertaining him like a guest. In the first few days, he said nothing, but after a few days, he cursed the villagers for ignoring him.
The villagers were also very angry, saying that he was capricious and treacherous, and showed him the written evidence.
Pointing to the contract, the teacher read slowly word by word: A duck can live without a chicken; Without fish, meat is ok; Green vegetables and tofu are indispensable, and you get what you pay for. "Then he said bluntly," isn't it written clearly in black and white? "
Children's humorous joke story four
Once, a younger brother went to his brother's house to be a guest. Because he couldn't visit empty-handed, he tied a chicken with straw and took it with him. When my brother is away, there is only a sister-in-law at home, and my brother gives a gift "chicken".
Sister-in-law accepted the "chicken" and thought: People gave gifts, so we have to stay for dinner! He said, "Brother, you have to eat at home today anyway."
After that, he put two pairs of chopsticks and two plates on the table, then took out his husband's brush, dipped it in ink, drew a pancake on the paper and said, "Brother, eat it while it is hot."
My brother pretended to pick up the "cake" with chopsticks, pretended to eat it in his mouth for a long time, pretended to be full, got up and left home.
In the evening, my brother came back. Sister-in-law told him her brother's gift. Brother looked at the "chicken" sent by his brother and the "cake" drawn by his wife. Suddenly he got angry and scolded his wife: "Bastard! How can you draw him such a big cake! "
Children's humorous joke story five
Once upon a time, there was a daughter-in-law, who was so greedy that she couldn't even speak without eating on weekdays. The villagers nicknamed her "greedy woman"
One night, the greedy woman's husband came back from selling goods outside. Hardly had he entered the door when it began to snow. My husband was afraid of heavy snow and couldn't go out to sell goods the next day. He was in a hurry. As soon as he took up his rice bowl, he said to the greedy woman, "Go out and see how thick the snow is?" She went out to have a look and came back and said, "It's as thick as a pancake." After a while, her husband said to her uneasily, "Go and see how thick the snow is?" She looked out again and said, "It's as thick as pancakes." After dinner, her husband asked her out to see the snow. After reading it, she smiled and said, "It's as thick as cutting a cake." The husband was anxious to get angry when he saw that the snow was getting heavier and heavier. When he saw that every word of a gluttonous woman could not be separated from food, it was even worse. In a rage, he picked up the pass by the stove and slapped her twice. The greedy woman was in terrible pain and burst into tears, crying and saying, "You are so cruel! I picked up the twist and hit my face like a steamed bun. How can I eat in the future? "
Children's humorous joke story six
Once, a white-haired old man sent his silly son to the market to buy slaves. Before leaving, the father taught his son the secret recipe: "I heard that the slave seller didn't let the slave know in advance, so that the buyer could watch him privately, comment on the pros and cons and discuss the price." Buying like this is a good slave. "
My son swaggered into the market, walked into a mirror shop and saw himself in the mirror, young and strong. He remembered his father's words and felt that he must be a good slave, so he pointed to the mirror and said, "How much is this slave?"
On hearing this, the shopkeeper knew that he was a fool and lied to him, saying, "This slave sells for ten dollars."
My son bought a mirror and went home happily. Father was very surprised and asked him, "Where are the slaves you bought?"
The son took the mirror out of his arms and said, "Here it is."
Father looked at himself in the mirror and saw that his eyebrows and beard were gray, and his face was dark and wrinkled. He scolded his son angrily and said, "Idiot! How can I buy such an old slave at a high price of ten dollars! "
Children's humorous joke story seven
Once, two cloth clothes invited a rich man to dinner. During the dinner, they did their best to flatter the rich man, who was proud and complacent.
Inadvertently, the rich man added a * in the conversation. The rich man didn't realize that his face was red, and the scene was very embarrassing. In order to please him, one of them said, "Your * is loud, but it has no taste at all."
The other said, "Not only does it not stink, but it seems to smell a fragrance."
The rich man frowned slightly after listening to their praise and said unhappily, "I heard that I don't stink. There must be something wrong with my five internal organs and I may die."
As soon as the rich man's voice fell, the first speaker hurriedly raised his hand in the air a few times, then sniffed it a few times and said, "The smell just came!" " "
The second man took a few breaths, then put his hand over his nose and said, "Ah! Not only that, it stinks! "
Children's humorous joke story eight
Once upon a time, when a confused county magistrate tried a three-person dispute case, he only glanced at the form paper and shouted to the hall, "Come on up!" " "Set three people. When the county magistrate saw it, he cursed in his heart: "They are all idiots!" Shouted again: "Go down!" Three people fell down again.
Seeing this, the magistrate was furious: "Bastard! You have to play tricks on this official and each of you will play fifty boards! " The three men immediately knelt down and begged, "Didn't Master tell us all to come up and down?" The county magistrate said, "I called your names." The three men said in unison, "None of us have that name!" Zheng pointed to one of them and asked, "What's your name?" "Sir, my name is Yu Shangqiu." The magistrate looked at the complaint again, only to find that he took "seeking from depression" as "all coming up" and asked another person, "What's your name?" "Sir, my name is Bian Di." The magistrate took another look at the plaint and found that he had made a mistake again, and actually took "losing the edge" as "going down". He asked the third person, "What's your name?" The third man said, "Tell my master that my name is Rong Yue Axe."
The county magistrate looked at the complaint again, then looked up and sighed and said, "Oh dear! If I hadn't asked you, I almost recognized you as' my grandfather'. "
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