Ask a joke to amuse an idiot of mine.

1. Wife's Quotations: You are allowed to get drunk and hook up with girls, but you must return to the team at night. If you dare to break my heart and lungs, I will definitely break your third leg.

2. Four mice brag: A: I eat rat poison as candy every day; B: it itches if you don't step on a mouse for a day; C: Don't go to the streets several times a day. D: it's getting late. Let's go home and hug the cat.

3. The sky is blue, the sea is deep, and none of men's words are true; Love is eternal, blood is bright red, and it is impossible for a man not to fight; When a man has money, he is destined for everyone. If a person can rely on it, pigs can climb trees.

4. Long life, who is not bad! Family to take care of, lovers to get along! There is a cook at home, a kind-hearted person outside, a nice table and a missing person in the distance! Keep two, keep one, develop three, four, five, six, seven!

5. A little dog climbed onto your dining table and crawled towards a roast chicken. You are furious and say, if you dare to do anything to that roast chicken, I will dare to do anything to you. The dog licked the chicken's ass and you fainted. The dog said, look who is cruel.

6. Legend has it that tonight, ghosts wander, dead light reappears, and ghosts turn around! May the ghost hear my call, come to your bedside in the middle of the night, touch your face with pale face, green eyes and dry hands and say good night to you for me!

7. Men are always laughing and their eyes are discharging. They are either sick or cheating! A woman with breast enhancement and thin waist is dissolute and coquettish, either taking out her pocket or letting you have a black knife! These days, freaks and banshees, look out!

8. When you were walking on the road, a bitch jumped on you, bit off a piece of meat from your foot and swallowed it quickly. When you put out your foot to kick it, the dog said with tears: You fight, anyway, I already have your flesh and blood in my stomach!

9. Mosquitoes in the United States, Germany and China compete for the best skills. The American mosquito said, "I can tie the frog's tongue." The mosquito in Germany said, "I can tie the knots on the tongues of three frogs together." China Mosquito said, "What's that? I can tie the tongues of n frogs into Chinese knots! "

I hope it can be adopted and tell you a secret: buy a joke calendar and you can see more than 300 funny jokes! ! ! !