A joke suitable for children.

Jokes are short in length, simple and ingenious in story, often unexpected, giving people a wonderful feeling of being suddenly enlightened. Most of them reveal absurd phenomena in life, which are ironic and entertaining. There are different tastes. The following is a little joke I collected for you, which is suitable for fooling children. Welcome to share.

Small joke suitable for children 1 1, where is the sugar?

Teacher: "Lingling, please make a sentence with the word' sugar'."

Lingling: "I am drinking milk."

Teacher: "Where is the sugar?"

Linlin: "In the milk!" "

2. Younger than me

Xiaohong pointed to the map and said, "This is Guangdong, and we live here."

My 5-year-old sister said, "Guangdong is younger than me. How can I live in people? "

Step 3 demonstrate

Two children are talking;

A child said, "Aunt Zhang's stomach has become so big now! Mom said she was pregnant with a child, a girl. "

The second child said, "My uncle in the country has grown so big now! So, he is pregnant, too. However, I don't know if my uncle is pregnant with a boy or a girl? "

A child said, "Do you need to ask? Aunt Zhang is a woman and pregnant with a girl; Your uncle is a man, of course he is pregnant with a boy! "

4. Thermal expansion and cold contraction

Wan Wan (10 years old): We know that heat expands and cold contracts.

Mom: Do you know what expansion with heat means contraction with cold?

Absolutely: it just gets bigger when it is hot and smaller when it is cold.

Mingming: I see. It's hot in summer, so the holiday time is long, and it's cold in winter, so the holiday time is short.

5. Father and son

"Dad, why do you have white hair on your head?"

"If my son doesn't listen, let my father worry, and his head will be white!"

"So, Dad, you are too worried about your grandfather who has white hair."

6. What is "happiness"

My little niece once asked me, "Uncle, what is happiness?"

"People are happy when they are happy."

"So you care about being unhappy?"

7. Sleep and play with a flashlight

Before going to bed, the 5-year-old son said to his mother, "Mom, give me the flashlight."

"What are you doing sleeping and playing with a flashlight?"

"I don't play. I dreamed that darkness was coming and I couldn't see it. "

8. What are the expenses?

Father teaches his son to read. When he learned the word "Tian", he asked him, "What's on your head?"

The son thought for a moment and said, "Hair."

"What about the hair?"

"The roof."

"What about the roof?"

"Tiles."

The father was impatient and struck the table: "Idiot! Take a good look. What else is on it? "

The son cried in horror, "There are … birds flying …"

9. Eat fish and chicken

Child: "Dad, Xiaohua's father swims very well. Why not? "

Dad: "Xiaohua's father always eats fish, so he can swim." Dad, I don't often eat fish. How can I swim? "

Child: "But, Dad, you always eat chicken. Can you lay eggs? "

10, grow up to be a teacher

Father: "The teacher told me at the parent-teacher meeting that you always like to talk in class and you should correct it later."

Son: "Why should we correct it? The teacher speaks several times more than me in class! "

Father: "That's the teacher giving a lecture. How can you talk without talking? "

Son: "don't you always say' everything should be started from a young age'?" I want to be a teacher when I grow up. How can I not practice now? "

1 1, the head and tail are all out.

Xiao Qiang learned to look it up in the dictionary. One day, he wanted to look up the word "you". He searched for a long time and only found the word "Tian". Xiao Qiang flew into a rage:

"Why don't you dare to come out with your head down!" After a while, Xiao Qiang turned to the word "A", which made Xiao Qiang happy: "You were afraid of me, so you put your tail out!"

After a while, the clever Xiao Qiang saw the word "Shen" again, clapped his hands and smiled: "Haha, now his head and tail are sticking out!"

12, playing the piano

Mom: Mute, wash your hands before you can play the piano! Dumb: Never mind, I'll play black keys!

13, don't be afraid.

One day, the police found a little girl wandering alone in the street. She doesn't know her name or where she lives. The police began to rummage through her pockets helplessly, hoping to find some clues. The little girl didn't resist, but said softly, "Don't be afraid, I don't have a gun."

1, peacock

Little Mary went to her grandmother's house in the country. One day, she was playing in the garden and saw a peacock she had never seen before.

This kind of bird. After watching it for a while, she sneaked into the house and shouted, "Grandma, come and see it! There is a hen blooming in your house. "

14, historical story

Xiaoming is always pestering his father to tell him historical stories. Dad: "Good! Once upon a time there was a frog. " Xiao Ming: "Alas! People want to hear historical stories! ! "Dad:" Well, there was a frog in the Tang Dynasty. "

15, cheat to eat and drink

"Let's play the game of the zoo!" Six-year-old Carl said to his mother. "How to play?" "It's very simple. I am a monkey, you are a tourist, and feed me jelly, peanuts and chocolate. "

16, between hand and face

Mother: "Your face is still clean, but why are your hands so dirty?" Son: "I just wiped my face with my hand."

17, bad memory

How is your teacher? She has a poor memory. Just now she said 1+ 1=2, and now she says 3- 1=2.

18. Why are you called a student?

Dad: "Son, you are in junior high school. Do you know why you call them students? " Son: "I know, we only learn what students are familiar with!" " "

19, have a rest

My son did something wrong and cried for an hour after I scolded him. I ignored him. When he stopped crying, I asked him, "You stopped crying?" The son replied, "I don't stop crying." I want to have a rest. "

20. Do you know anything about "things"?

One day, my aunt said to the children in the class (she is a kindergarten teacher), "You must be sensible! Suddenly a child said loudly, "teacher, I know five more!" 」

2 1. How many cats do I have?

The physics teacher talked about the principle of electricity: "Friction can generate electricity. For example, as long as you touch the cat's hair backwards, you can see the electric spark. " "God," cried a little girl, "how many cats must be kept in that power station!"

22. No missing parts.

"Dad, I took the TV apart and reassembled it. I just want to see the structure inside. "

"Thank goodness, you haven't lost any parts, have you?"

"Not lost, there are more than a dozen pieces!"

23. Count the stars

In the evening, Xiaoxiao came to Mao Mao. "Come on, let's count the stars in the yard."

Mao Mao "It's so dark, can you count it?" I think we'd better go to bed tonight and count until dawn. "

24. My son watches basketball

The father held his five-year-old son in his lap and watched the basketball game with rapt attention. Seeing the athletes struggling for the ball, the child asked, "Dad, basketball must be very expensive, right?"

Dad was surprised and said, "Honey, how can you think that?"

The child said, "If it's not expensive, why don't they each buy one?"

25. A teacher who loves to lie

On the first day of school, Bobo came home from school.

"How is the new teacher?" Mom asked.

"Not at all. She likes to lie. "

"How is that possible? Don't talk nonsense. "

"In arithmetic class, she first said that 3 plus 3 equals 6; After a while, she said that 2 plus 4 equals 6; At the end of class, she said that 5 force 1 equals 6. "

Small joke suitable for coaxing children 2 rabbits

Child: Dad, who are you?

Dad: It's a rabbit.

Child: Are you a male rabbit or a female rabbit?

twin brothers

There is a pair of twin brothers, who are alike in appearance, appearance and dress.

One day, a neighbor came to visit and saw two brothers together, unable to tell who was older and who was younger. He asked, little fellow, who is your brother and who is your brother?

The younger brother didn't want people to know that he was young, so he quickly said, Brother, don't tell this uncle!

Think about mom.

Little Barbara gently walked up to the math teacher and begged him to say, although I didn't do well in the exam this time, please make a good score when grading your grades.

Why? This is not good.

Little Barbara's voice was softer: Teacher, my mother has a heart attack, and a lower score will make her excited.

Expired water

One day, I wanted to drive my three-year-old nephew out to play, only to find that his eager eyes rested on a bottle of mineral water that I didn't throw away.

I quickly said, "This water is not drinkable, it has expired." He looked at me puzzled.

I explained: "this expired water means that if it is left too long, there will be bugs in it." Drinking this water will give you a stomachache. "

He cocked his head and thought, "What about the water after six o'clock?"

Where are the newly born red dates?

Mom made black-bone chicken and wolfberry soup.

The daughter pointed to the wolfberry in the soup and asked, "Mom, what is this?"

Mom: "This is Lycium barbarum."

The daughter said doubtfully, "I thought it was a newly born jujube."

What should I do to get swollen?

My four-year-old daughter asked me, Baba, are you so fat because you only eat rocks? ......

Show your true colors quickly.

Nuo Nuo came home at noon, and suddenly a child about 7.8 years old came running.

Holding a big mirror at the bottom of the flowerpot, taking photos in Nuo Nuo,

When the sunlight reflected, Nuo Nuo couldn't open his eyes, when the child suddenly let out a cry:

"ah! The goblin is not quick to reveal his true colors! ! "

In an instant, all passers-by stared at me and laughed!

A naked frog

Tom always listens to his father's story before going to bed. ......

Dad: "Once upon a time, there was a frog ..."

Tom: "Dad, I don't want to listen to fairy tales today. Can I tell science fiction stories? "

Dad: "Well, in space, there is a frog ..."

Tom: "Forget it, Dad. To celebrate my eighth birthday, can we talk about restricted classes? "

Dad: "All right! Don't let your mother know. There is a frog with no clothes on ... "

Which tram should I take home?

On Sunday, Little Ma Yina and his father went to the zoo to see lions. They came to the lion house.

Ma Yina Jr. kept asking questions happily,

After watching it for a while, she suddenly became uneasy.

Come on, dad asked her what happened.

"Dad, I'm a little scared," said Ma Yina.

The trembling voice replied, "If this lion breaks free,

If I eat you, then I should

Which tram should I take home? "

Here comes the old woman.

Zhuang Zhuang went to kindergarten at the age of 5.

His grandmother just shaved her head, and the bag was twice as bright.

At school today, the teacher came to meet me at the kindergarten gate.

Zhuang Zhuang called the teacher: "Teacher, the old woman has arrived!" "

The teacher was speechless at that time.

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