Where are the classic jokes? Come on, everybody, 3Q.

1 Scratch the match head and burn it. Then it went to the hospital and came out with a cotton swab. A squid begged the owner of the barbecue shop: Please let me go and don't roast me! The boss said: ok, but I want to test you a few questions! Squid is very enlightened and says: you take the exam, you take the exam! Boss: Hey, hey, you asked for it! An egg went to a teahouse to drink tea and turned into a tea egg. A steamed stuffed bun said he was hungry while walking, and then he ate it himself. A passenger shouted: "I want to get off at once, this is my right!" " So, he fell into the sea and fought with a piece of rice cake. When he got angry, he threw the rice cake into the sea ... There is a story that a fisherman accidentally dropped his wedding ring into the sea while fishing. His wife was very angry and asked him to salvage the diamond ring. So, the fisherman fished by the sea every day for ten years ... Finally, one day, he took the fish home and cut open the fish's stomach. Guess what this is? -It turned out to be a rice cake ... 7 Two bananas were walking on the road. The banana walking in front suddenly felt so hot and said, it's so hot, I'm going to take off my clothes. So it peeled off the skin, and the banana behind it fell off when it stepped on the banana skin. A compass was walking on the road and suddenly cried, "I can't find the north." I was fired the next day. I didn't say hello because they didn't know each other well. One day, a male deer ran faster and faster. Finally, it became a highway. A black cat saved a white cat from the river. Do you know what the white cat said to the black cat later? It says "meow" 12. If you get lost in the mountains, what animal do you want to contact? Lion (Lost) Contact 13 What animal is the best? Pig (Pearl) Expert 14 What animal sticks a seal on the wall 15 What animal is the most unlucky? Sparrows. Although the sparrow is small, * *16 which is better, the left hand or the right hand? Right hand. Because there is a song that says: left hand gong, right hand good (drum) 17 What anime characters are most sympathetic? Tinker bell. Because it often reaches out to help (round) 18 which anime characters are the most terrible? Tinker bell. Which anime characters like to entertain guests best because their fingers can't reach them? Hulk. Because of hospitality (hawker), where is the sweetest place for 20 girls? Feet. Because there is a song that says: There is a girl named (Foot) Tian Tian. . . 2 1 Which girl has no strength? Wei. There is a beautiful (powerless) little girl. . . Two tomatoes crossed the road and a car sped by. One of them cannot avoid being crushed. Another tomato pointed to the crushed tomato and smiled: Ha ha ha, ketchup ... There is a duck named Xiao Huang. One day, it was hit by a car. It shouted, "Gung!" " From then on it became a cucumber! ! One day, Xiao Qiang asked his father, "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?" After the party, a group of animals rushed into the convenience store to buy things. Because it was too noisy, the clerk knocked it out, but left the lamb alone in the store. Why? The convenience store doesn't close for 24 hours (sheep) ... 26 glasses and coffee cups crossed the road together, and suddenly someone shouted: Here comes the car! As a result, the glass was hit by a car and the coffee cup was fine. Why? Coffee cups have ears! I hate two kinds of people most: one is racist; The second is black; Third, I can't count! How did ants die after falling from the Himalayas? Answer: I am starving. Because it is too light, it will take a long time to float down ... 29 One day, a lump of black shit saw a lump of white shit. Black shit asked: Why are you so white and beautiful? White stool makes me very angry! It says: I'm not shit! I am ice cream! One day, the animals smelled an unpleasant smell in front of Guan Gong Temple. The snake said, "I am too young to fart like this." The pig said, "People who fart will blush." Suddenly, Guan Gong rushed out and drove the pig away, saying, "How many times have I told you, I was born blushing." 3 1 One day, a mother-in-law took a bus and sat halfway. Her mother-in-law didn't know the way. My mother-in-law spanked the driver with a stick and said, where is this? Driver: This is my ass ... 32 A sausage is locked in the refrigerator, and I feel very cold. Then I looked at the other one next to me and felt a little comforted. I said, "Look, you are frozen like this, and you are covered with ice!" " As a result, Root said, "Sorry, I'm a popsicle." A man was starving in the desert when he found the magic lamp. Magic lamp: "I can only realize your one wish." Hurry up, I'm in a hurry. " Man: "I want a wife ..." The magic lamp immediately conjured up a beautiful woman, and then disdained to say: "I am starving and covet beauty! Pathetic! " Then he disappeared. Man: "... cake." Five yuan was kidnapped by a criminal gang. I called the hundred-dollar bill and said, "Hello! Your son is here. If you don't want us to kill the ticket, you can exchange yourself for him! " The hundred-dollar bill thought for a moment and said, "tear it up, you don't even have five dollars!" " "Fat man made a girlfriend, and it blew up in less than a week. When a friend asked why, the fat man said that she said ... after not seeing me for a long time, she felt very tired ... "After the fat man was lovelorn, his mother was very anxious and took him to see a psychiatrist." Doctor, my son is always suicidal after his lovelorn love. Please help him quickly. "The doctor asked," do you want to commit suicide? "The fat man said," No … I just feel hungry when I look in the mirror recently … "37 Piglet and his mother were eating in a restaurant. Piglet wanted to eat "braised pork intestines" and was scolded by her mother. "Are you sick? Eat your own water? Waiter, let's eat steamed bread! ""What kind of stuffing do you want? " "Pork and green onions. "The dung beetle family went to the countryside for a picnic. Mother Dung asked, "Honey, did you bring food?" "What to eat, don't you see cows all around? Let's just wait there. "As a result, the dung beetle family drowned ... because the cow ate a bad stomach and had diarrhea. Xiao Huamei: "Mom, I'm not feeling well today. Can I not go to school? " Big plum: "What's the matter? "Little Huamei:" I feel sour all over, really. "40 camera and mirror mm fall in love, and mirror mm says," I'm so sad. I have been photographed by others all my life, but I don't know what I look like. The camera said, "Never mind, why don't I take your picture?" After the photo is developed ... Mirror MM: "5555 ~ ~ Why are you still in the photo ..." 4 1 moth A: "Your mouth stinks! What did you eat? "Moth B:" I accidentally climbed into the pile of socks. "The 42-dollar bill gave my son a big red envelope for his five-dollar wallet during the Spring Festival. The five-dollar bill opened the red envelope with joy and found that it was his mother. After the earthworm father was injured, he was lying in the hospital, covered in bandages. Mother earthworm is responsible for feeding her father every day. Mother earthworm has been worried that her father won't eat. The wet nurse suggested opening her mouth and pouring it in. Mother earthworm did. After leaving the hospital, earthworm's father said, "This hospital is really terrible. It doesn't give food or enema every day! " "Tofu mother came to the kindergarten to pick up the children and chat with the teacher. The teacher asked, "Mrs. Tofu, do you like hot pot?" "I like it very much!" "That's great! Actually ... when playing hide-and-seek in the afternoon, your child hid in the refrigerator. " The son said to his father, Dad, do you love me? Dad said, sure, any questions? The son said, can you divorce your mother and marry the aunt who sells candy next door? There is a word that we have been mispronouncing since childhood. What word is it? Mistake 47 The eleventh book is incredible (book 1 1) 48 What kind of bat doesn't have to rest and is untidy (endless bat) 49 Which English letter is the coolest? - C！ (C is cool- suit pants) What is the strongest lock of 50 most afraid of? Keys! ! It's a little cold. 5 1 What can I eat to be courageous? -Damn it! Because dogs are courageous! Dumbfounded ~ ~ ~ 52 Which key is the fastest in the keyboard? -f153 A polar bear stayed alone on the ice in a daze. When he was really bored, he began to pull out his own hair, one ... two ... three ... Finally, there was none left, and he suddenly shouted ..............................................................................................! Who has the strongest flying skills? -& gt； Cao Cao, because .. you said Cao Cao, and Cao Cao came. What animal has the worst skin? -elephants, because of "erasers". What three kinds of doors won't open? You, us and them. When you see a dog barking, how do you stop it? Answer: Hurry up and shout "two" because it won't shout "three" (Wang = one) 60 Which Taiwan Province artist will be crazy when he is old? Answer: Gao Lingfeng (crazy old man) 6 1 "One day, ChristianRandPhillips and Little Tiger went to a barbecue together. Excuse me, what is ChristianRandPhillips responsible for when we barbecue together? The answer is: make a fire, why? Because in the song "Red Dragonfly in Little Tiger", there is a line that says "... flying is life", so ChristianRandPhillips is in charge of making a fire. It's cold! Here comes the hunter. Guess a kind of food? Shoutao, who is the mother of 63 meters? Because of "The Beast Escapes"? .......................... is a flower, because flowers "give birth" to meters 64. What animal's name is Dandan? Tiger is worried about (Dandan) 65. What animal is the most likely to fall down? Answer: Fox, because the fox is very cunning (his feet are slippery) 66 What chicken runs the slowest? Nicole Kidman 67 What chicken runs fastest? A: Why did my girlfriend throw my clothes from upstairs and I got hurt? -Because the clothes are on me. Why don't penguins wear hats? -Why does a dog do three somersaults because its hands are too short? " ... the answer is: "shih Tzu! ! ! Because San Francisco "7 1" which two English letters will explode together? -All right! What happened to 72 bananas? -Scoliosis!