I don’t care about other people’s opinions, I started to truly live my life

In the past, I was a person who particularly cared about other people’s opinions.

It depends on other people’s opinions on all aspects of me, and tying my world under the vision of others.

When I went to high school in the county town, I couldn’t speak Mandarin well. Once, the teacher asked me to get up and read classical Chinese, but I was a mess. Since then, I have never dared to participate in any speaking activities in class.

During my three years of high school, I did not exercise all year round, and my thighs became very thick. Once, a boy said to me, your legs are so thick.

From then on, I didn’t dare to wear jeans. I always bought tops that could cover my thighs.

I study hard, and some girls will tell me in front of others that I study all day long.

Actually, I know that the girl will cheat on the exam and study secretly when she goes home at night, but I can't refute it.

Every time I make a slight mistake in an exam, what I fear is not the grade itself, but the mocking voice that you can’t resolve: "Look, she studies all day long, but she hasn’t done well in this exam yet. I really hate reading.”

Therefore, I am afraid of reading in public places and will try my best to cater to other people’s every move.

Every time it’s time for an exam, they always say that I haven’t studied this content very well and I will definitely not do well in this exam.

In other words, whether you do well in the exam or not, just let it be.

Whenever I hear such words, I feel disgusted from the bottom of my heart. It is really disgusting.

However, there is nothing I can do.

When I came to a vocational college, my previous hard work in studying really became a joke, a joke in the eyes of others and even myself.

But I am not willing to be so bad, and I am not willing to let a college entrance examination determine my life.

I worked hard to improve myself. In my freshman year, I founded a club independently and organized the college's "Top Ten Singers Competition" with more than 300 people.

I overheard the teacher saying to others that this little girl is quite capable of doing things.

But I am still trembling, timid and inferior.

I practiced my speech and rehearsed it repeatedly in front of the camera with a manuscript of tens of thousands of words. My throat was so hoarse that my vocal cords could no longer make any sound.

I started writing, and others told me that your articles are full of dark and depressive things. Reading your article makes me feel very uncomfortable.

So, I started writing and then stopped, and then stopped and started writing again.

Every time I hear negative voices, I will subconsciously doubt that I can’t do anything well.

I have always lived in the eyes of others. Just a word from others will make my world fall apart.

However, girls like me are like weeds on the roadside. Even if the wind blows, rains, and storms, we will live strong and seek self-salvation of life.

I am constantly looking for an outlet for my own life.

After going through many twists and turns, I truly understood my biggest obstacle: living in other people’s world and always letting myself walk in the shadows.

Then it is impossible to see the sun.

However, living in the eyes of others for a long time has gradually become a habit. It is really difficult to seek a breakthrough and get out of such a vicious circle.

When you start to decide to do something, you will subconsciously guess what others think. After that, he retreated and denied himself in the midst of suspicion.

But I still tried to force myself out of this situation, struggling and hesitating on the way forward.

I began to participate in large-scale speech activities, and I began to sit in the library and read books in a down-to-earth manner again; I began to express my opinions openly in class.

I went out early and came back late, spending all day in the library.

Meet the eyes of others head-on, without covering up, panicking or dodging.

I began to consciously learn about clothing matching. During class, the teacher suddenly asked me if I had studied art in elementary school.

She said that the color matching of your clothes makes people feel comfortable every time.

I said, I didn’t.

I don’t have the kind of skills that have been cultivated by my family since I was a child, but I can continue to learn and make myself strong and specialized.

I seldom doubt myself for no reason as I used to.

I silently told myself that if you want something, take the initiative to get it; if you are not capable enough, work hard to improve.

I don’t care about other people’s opinions and slowly start to live my life.

When we care too much about other people’s opinions, we will have an unconscious comparison mentality.

I always feel that I am low, and I always feel that the things I do are things that others don’t bother to do.

The more you think like this, the stronger the frustration deep inside your heart will become, and people will become more and more impetuous.

We use others as a frame of reference to judge the success of our lives, and we live in panic all day long.

On Douban, I saw this topic: The life crisis of 20-year-old college students.

I read a very worrying answer:

“I don’t know if your friends are like this, but I feel that my peers around me are generally anxious, lonely, and insecure. Everyone is running hard, but can't find the direction.

We know too many people around us through the Internet, and we understand too many truths through the explosion of information, and then we become more unwilling to be ordinary. , losing myself in the comparison. Maybe my junior high school classmates are taking TOEFL, but I am stuck in the water class..."

I have also experienced such anxiety and uneasiness.

During the three years in junior college, I tried hard to do something to improve myself, but I was always compared with my classmates in undergraduate colleges from time to time.

There is always a feeling that no matter what you do, it is something that others would disdain to do, and it is all very low-level things.

I kept denying myself, and kept encouraging myself during the struggle.

But in fact, each of us living in this world has our own and suitable lifestyle.

There is actually no standard to measure a person's success.

Even the word "success" is artificially created with modifications.

Thinking back, why should we tie our expectations for life to other people’s definitions?

The most worthwhile thing is to live a life that truly makes you feel comfortable and feels happiness from the bottom of your heart.

Today at noon, when I was reading a professional theory book, I was deeply attracted by this passage:

"A person should love and respect the logical method he chooses, and regard it as He does not need to despise other methods, but he can deeply respect them, and his doing so will only make his bride respect him more.

However, she is the only one he has chosen, and he knows that he has made the right choice, and he will work for her and fight for her.

He will not complain about the blows he may receive. He will expect many heavy blows, and he will seek to be her splendid knight and defender, and he will draw inspiration and courage from her radiant glory.

In other words, everyone should like and respect the lifestyle they choose, because it belongs to you and is unique.

Since you have chosen this lifestyle, you must work hard to protect and enjoy the life you have chosen.