Blow jokes.

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At the end of Qing Dynasty, a French missionary went to the countryside of China to preach. When he saw a little girl, he went up and asked, "Little basin of oil, are you chewing?" ?

The little girl said, wash your feet? I wash it every day. Why do you ask?

The missionary understood that the little girl had misunderstood, so he explained, it's not chewing, it's barking.

Little girl: Ah, my name is not Jiao, but Wang.

The missionary couldn't bear it, and said, I'm not saying what your last name is, I want your last name to be Jiao, quick, quick!

The missionary was very excited and loud, which frightened the little girl and alarmed the villagers. As soon as the villagers listened, they understood. The preacher was a hooligan, so they beat him away.

The missionary returned to the bishop and said: (French) I told them to believe in religion, but they didn't want to believe it and beat me.

one

Regardless of the east, regardless of the west, wine tube;

Prosperity or decline, drink it.

In the Qing Dynasty, the business of a pub in the south of the Yangtze River was depressed, and the business with literati as the theme was getting better and better. "Management" is homophonic with "Pavilion" and "Ba" is homophonic with "Ba"

two

Minko led a white cow through the Prince's shop.

Bai Gong rode a black horse to catch up with Gong Ye Chang.

A student disciple of Jikongmen sparred. Min Ziqian and Min Ziqian are harmonious, white cattle and Berniu are harmonious, white chess and white chess are harmonious, and Gongye Chang and Gongye Chang are harmonious.

three

Shanghai scholar is the first, just to write a book;

People in Huating are affected by evil deeds.

Zheng Luoshu, the Shanghai magistrate, and Nie Bao, the Huating magistrate in the Ming Dynasty. Liushu and Luoshu are in harmony, and Evil Report and Nie Bao are in harmony.

four

Go with the sail, go against the sail, the sail is late and fast;

The tide rises and falls, straight.

Zhu Yunming said to a friend. "Sailing Night" is homophonic with Confucius disciple "Fan Chi"; "Sail fast" is homophonic with the general "Fan Kuai" in the early Han Dynasty; "Straight" and "",Song and Huang Tingjian; "La" and "Lu Ban" were ancient craftsmen.

five

Pull out the nail at the stern, Confucius was born at the stern;

Lightning between clouds, Huo Guang is from Hanzhong.

Jie Jin said to a friend. "Boat" and "Zhou" are harmonious, and "Huo Guang" and "firelight" are harmonious.

six

Cats enjoy the cool under bamboo, and there is no heat at all;

Iris is facing the sun, and the wind is coming.

"Summer" is homophonic with "mouse" and "wind" is homophonic with "bee"

seven

It is urgent to wear clothes and sandals;

Abandoning armor and delaying troops are often defeated.

Xia Yuanji, Minister of War, and Zhou Da, Minister of War, were right. "Emergency" reconciles "Giving", "Constant Loss" reconciles "History"

eight

Take off your clothes, take off your crown and give things to others;

Abandon your armor and drag your troops away, minister Xuan.

Zhao Jiuling versus Zhang Dao. "Giving things" and "urgency" are consistent, and "Shangshu" is consistent with "frequent loss"

eight

Clogs are shoes, and the first step is really no shoes;

Coconut ladle is a lamp, to the front Committee clock.

Ming Hu and Yuan Liu Zhuang were right. "No shoes" and "rudeness" are harmonious, and "no bell" and "disloyalty" are harmonious.

nine

Set up a lake stone in the middle of the river, not a fake island;

The tiger skin on horseback is called a spotted tiger.

Wen Zhiming versus Xu Zhenqing. "False island" is homophonic with "passageway", and "point mark" is homophonic with "class mark"

ten

Rain hits the Confucian crown, like a barrel full of oil;

Snow floats on the monk's head like a hammer.

You Xiucai told Monk Lei. "Oil" and "You" are in harmony, and "Rolling" and "Thunder" are in harmony.

Edit this paragraph

Homophonic xiehouyu

1. The dwarf crosses the river-a (submerged) heart

2. A nun in buddhist nun-no luck (husband)

3. Boil lamp oil-heartburn (core)

4. Stir-fry Chinese onion with cabbage leaves-add pro (green) to pro (green)

5. Fight to pull out the beard-modesty (persistence) and inadequacy (beard)

6. The big ship carries the sun-it doesn't cross for almost a day.

7. Swimming in the cesspit-not afraid of death (shit)

Homophonic joke

1, see chicken.

Once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved chickens very much. The tenant rented his land, but he couldn't just pay the rent.

I have to give him a chicken first.

A tenant named Zhang San went to pay the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and rented it out the next year.

When he went, he put a chicken in a bag, paid the rent and told the landlord about the lease for next year.

However, he looked at the sky with empty hands and said, "There are no three kinds of fields in this field."

Zhang Sanming understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag. basic concept

After eating the chicken, he immediately changed his mouth and said, "Who will I give it to if I don't give it to Zhang San?"

Zhang San said, "Your words have changed so fast!"

The landlord replied: "that sentence was nonsense just now, and now it is' seeing'."

Machine (chicken) making. "

2. This is the ear

The new magistrate is from Shandong. Because he wanted to pay the bill, he said to the master, "You give it to me."

Go buy two bamboo poles. "

When touts heard that the "bamboo pole" with Shandong accent was "pig liver", they quickly agreed and ran away.

Go to the butcher shop and say to the shopkeeper, "Master Xinxian wants to buy two pieces of pork liver. You are a clever man.

You should know it! "

The shopkeeper is a clever man. He understood as soon as he heard it. He immediately cut two pieces of pig liver as gifts.

There are a pair of pig ears.

After leaving the butcher's shop, the owner thought, "The owner told me to buy pork liver. This pig ear, of course. "

This is mine ... "So he wrapped the pig's ear and stuffed it into his pocket. Back to the county government, to the magistrate of a county.

"Come back and report, Grandpa," he said. "I bought pig liver!"

The magistrate was very angry when he saw that his master had bought pig liver, and said, "Where are your ears!" " "

Hearing this, the touts frighten forward, hurriedly replied:

"Ears … ears … here … in my … pocket!"

3, homophonic help

A noble official invited a banquet. The cook was sent to prison by your officials because the cake he fried was raw.

The next day, your official held another banquet. There are two people who want to save the cook, one is a fortune teller and the other is a fortune teller.

As an old man, please count eight characters and tell your fortune by catering.

Fortune teller: "When did you respect old Geng Jia?"

The old man deliberately said loudly: "Bing Zi Sheng."

The fortune teller repeatedly shouted, "Not good."

The old man pretended to be unhappy and asked, "It's only been a year, and I don't have time. Why can't you say it well? "

The fortune teller said, "Yesterday Jiazi was born in prison, and you were born in Bingzi (homophonic" cake ")?"

The guests all burst out laughing. Your official understood the meaning and released the chef.