I want to know a lot of funny jokes

What's going on? ! The phone that I just called you rings and comes: "I'm sorry, the person you called is running naked, please call again later." I can't believe that I called again. Another message came: "Sorry, the user you dialed has run out of the service area, please call again later."

I tell you seven abstinences after meals: one is to quit smoking, the other is to eat fruit immediately, and the third is to quit smoking. The fourth commandment is to loosen your belt, the fourth commandment is to drink tea immediately, the fifth commandment is to walk a hundred steps, the sixth commandment is to take a bath immediately, and the seventh commandment is to sleep immediately! Bajie: Do you remember it?

A mosquito bites you on your left arm and takes a big drink. You are woken up by the bite. The moment you raise your right hand to hit the mosquito, the mosquito says to you: "You are flowing in my body." "

You are driving a long-distance sports car, but the speed is only 25-30KM/H, and suddenly a traffic policeman pops out and stops your car; you are stunned: Did I violate the rules? Traffic policeman: Please drive faster!

When a magpie comes, mother says it is a happy bird and a guest; when a swallow comes, mother says it is a beneficial bird and a guest; when a crow comes, the child asks, are you also a guest? The crow cries: Yes, I am a hacker!

God said he could grant me a wish. I took out the globe and said I wanted world peace, but he said it was too difficult and I wanted to change it to another one. I took out your photo and said I want this person to become beautiful. He thought for a moment: Let's bring the globe.

I heard that you were about to die of thirst in the desert. At this time, a fairy floated up. The fairy gave you a glass of bright red juice. You drank it all in one gulp. It was delicious. You had another glass. The fairy blushed. Said: Sorry to have to wait until next month!

Test you: What should you do if all the pigs in the world die overnight? (Name a song)......"At least I still have you"!

Donor: The color of the underwear you are wearing today is ominous and unlucky, so I hope you will take it off immediately and throw it into the toilet to keep yourself safe. Good, good, good

What's going on? I called your cell phone just now. After the ringtone, the cell phone prompted a voice saying: The other party is running naked, please wait and call again. I can't believe it! I called again and it said: Sorry, the user you dialed has left the service area, please wait and call again.

That day you used a knife to chop a pig wildly, and the pig fled into a dead end. The pig knelt down and begged you for mercy: "We are born from the same roots, so why rush to fry each other!"

If a star falls...hits you on the head...please don't panic...because...that's the gift I asked God...to give you...from now on you will live...carefree A life of worry...because...you are stupid

Starting from tomorrow, the city government has decided to eliminate all mentally handicapped young people who are ugly and detract from the appearance of the city! Pack your things quickly and go out to avoid the limelight. Don't tell anyone that I informed you. Remember! No thanks!

The moment I made up my mind and turned around to leave, your helpless crying and heart-rending pain behind me made me instantly understand how much I love you, and I suddenly turned around and cried. He hugged you tightly and shouted: I won’t sell this pig!

A gorilla came to the zoo. It was so ugly that all the tourists vomited. One day I went and I vomited; another day you went and the orangutan vomited.

I want to go to the sea with you, but I can’t grasp the unpredictable future; I want to go mountain climbing with you, but I am full of confusion about ideals; I want to wander with you, but I can’t reach the happy paradise; When I went shopping with you, I met a policeman and said, "No dogs allowed."

I have always been by your side and worried about you again and again. Have you had enough to eat today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold late at night? I've always known that you just can't take care of yourself. Whenever I walk away, you jump out of the pig pen.

Actually, you are very creative, and it is your courage to live. Being ugly is not your original intention, it is just God who lost his temper. You have to live bravely. Without you, who can bring out the beauty of the world.

It’s just a gust of wind, but it’s so eternal; it’s just a dream, but it’s so real; you lower your head and say nothing, but I can’t calm down, and finally I can’t help but say to you: You fart too Without saying anything first.

The weather is hot and cold, and it’s difficult to calm down in this season. I always miss you in the distance. I would like to raise a homing pigeon and let it fly to you every day, even if it can only do simple things. One action: poop on your head!

I saw you that day, in the supermarket! You quietly reached out to the barcode scanner and saw the screen display: Pig's trotters 8 yuan. You thought the machine was broken, but you turned your face over and looked at it. The screen showed pork head meat for 5 yuan!

On the journey of our friendship, sometimes you can’t see me by your side. It’s not that I forgot you, let alone let you walk alone. It’s that I choose to walk behind you, when you don’t If I fall down, I will run up... and step on it!

How much love can come back. Zhizunbao teaches you a trick: take your cookie box to the balcony at night, and then shout to the moon: Bo Ruo Bo Luo Mi!

Why is it so dark? Because cows and cows are flying in the sky! Why do cows fly in the sky? Because...that's because you are blowing on the ground! ! !

Are you lonely? If so, then go downstairs and buy a rope and a stick, tie the rope to the stick, and go to the top of the building to swing the stick when the wind blows. Others will ask you: What are you doing? Just say: I have convulsions!

Because of thirst, God created water; because of darkness, God created fire; because I need friends, God let you come to me, and God lost the bucket!

In the vast sea of ??people, when you receive this sincere blessing, please use all your strength to bang your head against the wall - do you see it? The countless stars in front of your eyes are my infinite love!

I just fell asleep that day when I received a text message: Wrong sleeping position, please go back to sleep.

There is a meteor shower tonight. I heard it is from the constellation Pig, and there will be a big pig flying across the sky. Unfortunately, I have to go to bed. Just be fine. There are so many people watching you fly. !