Classic and funny joke copywriting

1. Many things are accomplished by eating enough, such as losing weight.

2. God gave you a pair of cheating eyes, but you use them to roll your eyes. It is a waste of resources.

3. A drunkard came home in the middle of the night. His wife complained that he came back late. The drunkard explained: "There are two salesmen who have been pestering me." His wife said: "Then what did they sell to you?" "Husband: "They ask me if I want money or my life?"

4. In the past, transportation and mail were very slow, and you could only love one person in a lifetime. Now with the advanced Internet technology, you can love fifty people a day.

5. I had a meal with a friend and he asked me to pay the bill. I felt it was particularly unfair: "Why should I invite you this time? The Malatang we had last time, the kebabs we had last time, the ramen we had last time, etc., how could you not have invited me?"

6. I was chatting with a friend just now. I mentioned you, do you know? I quarreled with them and almost got into a fight because some of them said you looked like a monkey and some said you looked like an orangutan. It was too much! I don’t treat you like a pig at all!

7. The location of the invigilator and the relationship with classmates nearby = final exam results.

8. The difference between celebrities and us is that they walk on the red carpet, while we walk on the zebra crossing.

9. "Can I touch your school badge?" "You actually talk about breasts in such a fresh and refined way!"

10. You are the wind and I am the sand, You are the toothpaste and I am the brush, you are the Hami and I am the melon, if you don’t love me I will commit suicide.

11. I am looking for a boyfriend. If you are interested, please bring your resume, a copy of your fiancée certificate, and a health certificate. Conditions are negotiable. Those with extensive experience are not allowed to apply!

12. The husband has been collecting debts from his boss for almost half a year, but there is still no result, so the wife decided to take action herself. A month later, the wife happily said to her husband: "This time I am not afraid that he will default on his debt. I kidnapped his child!" The husband asked: "Where is the man?" The wife patted her belly and said, "I locked him up here. ! ”

13. Hold the child’s hand and drag him away. If he doesn’t leave, knock him unconscious and continue dragging him away!

14. When you suddenly don’t reply to my messages, I always comfort myself: It’s okay, you are probably dead.

15. If you have a heart for learning, you will end up failing the exam; if you have a heart for losing weight, you will end up being a foodie.

Sixteen. A young couple quarreled. Woman: As far as your thoughts go, get out of here! ! The man said calmly: According to your thinking, I should stay put.

Seventeen. I just went to buy medicine and suddenly forgot the name of the medicine. The pharmacy owner said: I have been selling medicine for thirty years. As long as you know the two words in the medicine, I will know what the medicine is. After thinking for a long time, he said: I only know the last two words. The boss said, what words? I said: Capsules.

Eighteen. I had dinner today, and the table next to me was having a blind date. Woman: "Do you have a car?" Man: "Yes, Audi A8." Woman: "Have you bought a house?" Man: "I bought it, 140 square meters, by the river." Woman: "Can I ask "How much is the annual salary?" Male: "The basic salary is about 1.6 million." Female: "What do you do?" Male: "Dreaming." There were sounds of water spraying and coughing from the tables next to me.

Nineteen. We have entered an era where mobile phones are used as computers, computers are used as TVs, and TVs are used as decorations.

Twenty. Ten years ago, primary school students ate spicy strips and college students drank coffee. Ten years later, primary school students eat Haagen-Dazs and college students eat spicy strips. This is not the point. The focus is on those people who eat spicy strips. .

Twenty-one. Do you want to get rich overnight? Do you want to be worth over 100 million? Do you want to have enough food and clothing? If you want to, why not stay with me and let the two of us think together.

22. An orangutan came to the zoo and was extremely ugly. Tourists all vomited when they saw it. I went to see it on the first day and I vomited. On the second day you went to see the orangutan and it vomited. , I wonder why the gap between people is so big!

23. A big mouse accidentally entered a flower shop and was chased by a little cat. When the big mouse found that he had no way to escape, he picked up a bouquet of roses and prepared to lower his resistance. The little cat saw it. He immediately lowered his head and said shyly: I'm sorry, I'm still young!