Who jokes more? Give some

. A priest was playing golf, and a nun was watching. The first shot missed, and the priest cursed: "TMD, missed!" He hit again, and the priest cursed again: "TMD," Missed again!" The nun said, "As a priest, God will punish you for swearing." As soon as he finished speaking, a thunderbolt struck the nun to death. The priest was puzzled: Why was it me who cursed, and why did he kill the nun? At this time, God’s voice came from the sky: “TMD, I missed the target too!”

2. Believer: “Almighty God, how long is ten thousand years to you? " God: "It takes me just a blink of an eye." Believer: "What about 1 billion yuan? " God: "It's just a hair of mine." Believer: "Oh, merciful God, please. Give me a hair." God: "No problem, I'll give it to you after I blink." 3. The head coaches of the Chinese, Japanese and Korean football teams came to heaven together and asked God about their respective lives. When will the football team win the World Cup? God said: South Korea will need 50 years. The Korean coach burst into tears: I can’t see him anymore. God said again: Japan needs 100 years. The Japanese coach burst into tears: I can’t see him anymore. The Chinese coach quickly asked: Where are we? God cried loudly: I can’t see him anymore.

4. There was a man who had a son in middle age, and he doted on him very much. He worked hard to raise his son to adulthood, and worked hard to support his son through college. Hungry and frugal, he bought a house for his son, married a wife, and became old himself. However, his son was unfilial and drove him out of the house on a stormy night. The old man came to a dilapidated temple to take shelter from the rain. The old man was very sad and looked up to the sky and sighed: God, why are you so unfair to me? After a flash of lightning, an older voice said: "This is retribution." At this time, the old man saw an older man coming in and out of the corner of the ruined temple. The old man was shocked: "Are you God?" The older man said: "Asshole! You kicked me out more than 20 years ago. I am your father, and you don't recognize me anymore?"

5. In the barber shop, when the priest finished cutting his hair and handed over the money, the barber said: "I won't take your money, I will serve God as a service." The next morning, the barber saw the shop There was a thank you letter and several Bibles in front of the door. A few days later, a police officer wanted to pay for a haircut. The barber said, "I won't charge you any money. I will treat it as a service to our community." The next morning, the barber saw more people in front of the shop. A thank you note and some Community Service Brochures. A few days later, a government official came to get a haircut. When he paid the barber, the barber said to him: "I won't charge you any money. I will treat him as a service to the government." The next morning, the barber saw the barber in front of the door. There was a row of government officials standing there

6. One day, Clinton’s wife Chirac was taken to see God. She found that there were many watches hanging in God’s living room, and some of these watches moved fast, and some Go slowly. So she asked the servant of God: "Why does God collect so many watches? And these watches don't run at the same speed?" The servant of God said: "These watches represent human life. Everyone in the world There is a watch like this. If he has many affairs, his watch will run faster. If he has no affairs, his watch will run slower." After hearing this, Chirac looked around and said, "Why don't you see my husband Clinton?" "God's servant said: "Your husband's watch was taken to the office by God and used as an electric fan!

7. An old couple who were born on the same day in the same year are living together. 35 years. Today, they held a banquet to celebrate their 60th birthday. During the banquet, God came and praised the old couple as a true "loving couple" and promised each of them a wish. Said: "We are very poor. I just want to see the world and do a global tour." "God waved his hand, and with a bang, a dozen plane tickets fell from the air into the old lady's hands. It was time for the old man to make a wish. He thought for a while and said, "I want to marry someone 30 years younger than me. year old woman.

"God moved his hand again, bang!... The old man suddenly became 90 years old

8. God squeezed a person with mud, and human beings have been there since then; the first ones were white people---because God put the clay figures on the fire and roasted them until they became lighter; then there were black people - because they were worried that the fire would not heat up enough, they would become bigger; later, after mastering the optimal heat, we, the yellow race, came into existence, so we are said to be God's most beautiful people. A successful masterpiece.

9. Little Peter proudly said to his friends: "My uncle is a priest, and everyone calls him a respected priest. "Little Paul said: "My uncle is a bishop, and anyone who talks to him calls him Your Excellency. "Little Lacus was unconvinced: "What's so great about this. My uncle weighs 150kg. ” When all the people saw him they shouted: “Oh! my god! ”

10. If you read the post but don’t reply, God will be angry, and the consequences will be serious; if you read the post and like it, God will be very satisfied and bless you to earn more RMB. Amen!