Am I paranoid, or is there something wrong? People always say I'm a wonder. High score for help!

people are basically easy to stay in their own illusions. You are no exception. In fact, you said that when you were in high school, people respected you very much, and college became stale. Then, you have to understand how respect respects you and how disrespect respects you. Our experience tells us that people will only respect those who should be respected. It can also be said that people will be respected by others only when they have the characteristics worthy of respect. The example you used is just to prove how bad your interpersonal relationship is after you entered the university. To put it simply, you haven't changed into a social person. Basically, our social relationship was a feature before high school, and it was a feature close to semi-students and semi-social people in college. Only after entering the society will we usher in another change in mode. You have been asking us a question: "How do you know who you are in the eyes of others?" It's easy to confuse yourself with this question. Because in the eyes of a hundred people, you must have a hundred looks. Because you will have a hundred faces in the process of getting along with these one hundred people. Among the six people in your dormitory, you mentioned that two people have been hurting you behind your back, and two people are avoiding you. You have no choice but to establish a relationship with the people in the dormitory outside. Not only do you regard others as people who do harm to you, but you always emphasize how unreasonable you should be treated by others. Of course, your starting point is good, that is, I hope to get respect, attention and care from others. What's the problem? The question is, how do you feel about others?

You mentioned that when you were in high school, people said you were crazy, and you thought it was normal. Why did you think it was normal to say such things in high school, but it was not normal in college? Is your mentality changed? Your people have changed? Is the way you talk changed? Is the way you do things changed? Neither. Because the object has changed. Students in high school have spent a long time with you and have got to know you better. Therefore, they will only think that this is a characteristic of you. This characteristic is part of all your characteristics. Therefore, these characteristics are the reference factors that distinguish you from others. They think you are a personality or strange because they are a group of people. As I said above, even if you say the same sentence and a hundred people listen, you can hear different "feelings". At the same time, we should take into account that there are two reasons why interpersonal conflicts are not obvious in high school. One is because of the characteristics of children who have just transitioned from junior high school and have not been completely separated; The second reason is that the academic pressure in high school diluted the influence of interpersonal conflict. However, after entering the university, it is not the same. First, after the high-pressure release of high school, college students' personality is more obvious, and people will pay more attention to what others are like, what they are like in front of others, and pay more attention to their image in front of others and the degree to which they are accepted by others; Secondly, the objects in the university period have changed. We are no longer getting along with our former classmates, but with new objects. New objects not only mean that they are new, but also mean that you are also new in their eyes. Whether a person's characteristics are accepted by others depends on whether you are a complex of characteristics that others are willing to accept. Because there is also a phenomenon that radish and vegetables have their own love in interpersonal relationships. This suggests that even if you mention how people in the dormitory make you unhappy, you also make others unhappy; You say that someone in the class laughs at you, but you are also laughing at some people; If you hate some people in class, then there will also be some people who hate you. People will only have their own limited number of small groups to socialize. You see, many people like Andy Lau, but I just don't. Is that wrong? Of course, it's true. It's just that our preferences are different. Third, when a person is eager to be respected by others, he needs to learn to respect others in advance. So far, what you have described is more about the unfair treatment you suffered and the ridicule of others that you can't understand. This still shows that you have always regarded yourself as the core. I asked you as soon as I came. You want to get others' approval. Did you agree with others in advance? You have to think about it, too. When you say that others are hurting you behind your back, then others are eating too much and have nothing to do, thinking about how to get rid of you all day. I don't think people are so childless. The characteristics of interpersonal interaction are unobstructed.

But I don't want to confuse you with too many theoretical explanations. I just want to emphasize that you don't have to think of yourself as a victim. Because there is no one who treats you unfairly. Whether this is your characteristic or your weakness, it is one of your characteristics. Whether others laugh at you or look down on you is the right of others. After all, no one is obliged to cooperate with your requirements to satisfy you. However, when others say you are "wonderful", most of them describe some of your words and deeds beyond their expectations. This has nothing to do with respecting you or not, and it won't be the reason why others look down on you. Compared with how normal you think, what is normal, and whether you are suspicious. Then, I should try to think about "what kind of person I think I am and how I think I treat others". Know yourself, observe others, and think, and you will find more answers. Because when we judge a person, most of the materials we base on are how others treat themselves. For example, whether a person is a good person depends not on how much he has contributed to society, but on his own situation. Think about it, even if Bill Gates donates hundreds of millions of dollars to charity, whether he is good or not has nothing to do with us, or even nothing to do with it. However, if a classmate lends you 3 yuan when you are hungry, even if this person is usually cold to you, you will begin to think that he is a nice person in your heart. This is how you treat people, not whether you are suspicious, sensitive and wonderful.

As mentioned above, what I want to say is that other people's feelings are absolutely Qian Qian. You can't prove your argument through your investigation and evidence collection. Because you have made a mistake. That is to put forward your argument first, and then find evidence to prove your argument. In this case, your argument must be valid. Well, now, you can also learn to find the opposite evidence to refute your argument. But no matter how much you say, since you think you are having such a bad life now. Obviously, you can change it through your own efforts. In the case that some people say that you are a personality and others are joking, then please be yourself. Because being yourself is the most natural and comfortable thing. Even if you are a star, there is no guarantee that everyone will like you. As long as you know who you are, then you can figure out how to treat others. Then, in the future, you will realize that no one has the energy to harm you, no one has the energy to slander you, and no one has the energy to pay attention to the need to respect you more. Otherwise, if you follow these ideas now, you will eventually become a four-elephant. I want to meet the standards of both A and B. In the end, I will only keep changing myself in order to pursue others' good feelings until I can't find the north.

finally, we should also understand. Interpersonal relationships are constantly disintegrating and reorganizing until we have a relatively stable interpersonal circle. In the interpersonal circle in high school, 9% of people will fade and disintegrate; 9% of the interpersonal circle in college disintegrated within the second year of graduation; The last stable thing is the interpersonal circle after work. Therefore, you should understand that you still want to have a good chat with your classmates in high school on QQ, which is just a dream of yours. When you get to college, you have your own lives and new friends. At best, you can only be familiar strangers. That's a little mixed up. You can refer to the article on interpersonal relationship in my space.