Somebody tell a few jokes. thank you

1. I have the habit of registering websites. Ask for a photo name. Registering Sina will fill in a Sina, registering Yahoo will fill in a Yahoo, registering Baidu will fill in a Baidu, registering a panda, and registering Google will fill in a Google. I got a phone call today asking: Miss Zhang Jianshe? I know, the bank sold my personal information. . . 2. Freshman girls are all peaches, which will make you itch all over. You have to have two brushes to brush off their thorns. Sophomore girl is Red Fuji, slightly mature, crisp and sweet. There is no need to brush her, but it will take some time to clean her up. Junior girls are all bananas. As long as you want to eat, just peel it. You don't need to wash them. You can eat if you want. That senior girl is a tomato, damn it I thought I was a fruit! 3. The Dragon Boat Festival arrived, and male and female colleagues invited them to drive out for an outing. When they drove to a quiet place, they hugged each other and kissed madly. Suddenly, a highway policeman knocked on the window and asked the man, "Is this your car?" A: Unit. One more question: Is she your wife? A: It's also from the company. The patrolman said to himself after listening, damn it, what unit has such good welfare? Our unit only knows brown hair. . . 4. Bored, rummaging through my friend's mobile phone, I found a business card folder, and I intentionally played tricks on it, so I sent a short message: Husband, I want it tomorrow night. The other person replied, ok, I'll cancel tomorrow's appointment first. Then my cell phone rang and BF told me that she couldn't accompany me tomorrow. 5. A lady is very fat and has a habit of stepping on ants as soon as she sees them. Someone asked her why, and she replied bitterly: "This little thing loves sweets so much, and her waist is so thin, it makes me angry!" ! 6. "Dad, let's go to the circus!" "Don't go, circus have what good-looking of? ! ""That classmate said there was a naked girl dancing on the back of a tiger. " "Let's go! Go and see it now, I haven't seen a tiger for a long time! " 7. Ten years later, we met again inadvertently. She asked me in a low voice, "How have you been these years? Is she good to you? " I was sad and said, "I'm not married, and I've been waiting for you." Her eyes were red and she said, "Come to the guest house at seven o'clock in the evening." On Qixi night, the moon was like a hook. I arrived at the hotel half an hour early with flowers in my hand. She welcomed me in, greeted me to sit down, and asked faintly, "Have you heard of Amway?" ..... 8. I found a mouse pad on the road and wanted to match a computer. A friend said: If you have a computer, you have to buy a set of furniture. If you have furniture, you have to buy a house. If you have a house, you have to have a girlfriend. You have to get married if you have a girlfriend. After marriage, I want to have children. If you have children, you have to buy milk powder and raise your children to grow up. When your child grows up, I may pick up a mouse pad, which is even more lacking. I quickly threw away that terrible mouse pad. .