How can I know that I have met the right person?

The content comes from the open course Sociology of Love 12, taught by Sun Zhongxing. This question was asked by the students in class and the teacher answered it.

This course is very interesting. I listen to it while running and riding a bike. Although I have been married for eight years and my family is harmonious and happy, I still have to learn some knowledge about managing my feelings, don't I? Many things that Teacher Sun said are in line with my life experience. There is great wisdom in the trivial matters of life, which is worth understanding. I think a lot of people will ask the questions in the target. Whether you are married, in love, or in love, you should be inspired, so write them down and share them sentence by sentence. Teacher Sun said the following words (by recording), please make up the Taiwanese accent when watching:

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This question is often asked, in fact, it usually contains two questions: doubt whether the person you meet is the right person, or doubt whether you will meet the right person in your life.

What is certain is that you will meet someone in your life. As for whether it is right or not, I will know it afterwards, and I will know it later. You are all young now. Looking back, that is, high school and junior high school, did you choose the right school (of course, you didn't choose the school yourself)? If you have a secret love or love, are you the right person?

Right? Besides time, the other is your mentality. At present, when you have deep feelings for him, when you want to confess to him and have uncontrollable enthusiasm, of course you think he is the right person, otherwise how can you feel this way? And if you think the right person is associated with this feeling, then this right person will not be the right person after a while. Because this feeling won't last.

And when you ask this question, you always ignore that people will change, and people will change with time, age and growth. What happened after the change? People who used to think they were right are now wrong to some extent. Before, you thought you were happy with him and he would tell me jokes. After a while, you think this person is so naive that he tells cold jokes every time. Because you have grown up, you no longer pay attention to the qualities that you once valued very much, so you don't think this person is the right person.

Is this a man's problem? Is he right or wrong? Or is it your problem? Or are you two together? You see, attribution can be summed up in three aspects. Most people boil down to "he is a wrong person", which is a serious ideological mistake, not like this. If it's the wrong person, why did you come forward first?

Both the right person and the wrong person were found at another time. Will you meet the right person? The right person is not born right. It is because of your constant interaction with him that you gradually discover that he is the right person. This is where intimacy is very complicated, because it is an endless effort. After careful consideration, if I want to give you a secret kit, it is eight words: treat each other as equals and work together. Basically, for life. The negative side is the endless process of enduring, and the positive side is the endless process of enjoying.

So, after I read "Socrates was asked: You are the smartest person in Athens. Do you want me to be single or married? Socrates said it was not bad, but you will regret it anyway. " After hearing this, I think Socrates is too clever because it is very simple. In any relationship, you have regrets, and you must enjoy them. Enjoy together, endure together, many times it depends on your state of mind and the interaction between two people.

So I hope students don't think so right. He's alone. He's still alive. This is more important. Don't think that he is the right person when he is dead, or that you are dead.