Why never treat colleagues as friends in the workplace?

There has always been a question that puzzles people in the workplace: can you treat your colleagues as friends? Some people think that colleagues can be friends, but most people are skeptical. So what causes people to feel bad about their colleagues in the workplace?

First, differences in thinking patterns lead to communication barriers.

A person's experience determines his thinking mode, and this different thinking has created different understanding ability and results for the same sentence. For example, if you talk to colleague A about a beautiful female colleague, rumors will soon spread that you like that female colleague, and you can guess who it is without thinking. In fact, this is a deviation in understanding, even such a casual little thing will have a deviation in understanding, not to mention several people with different backgrounds and different work experiences to adapt to the needs of the new era. If your definition of a friend is to fully understand what you say, obviously this kind of friendship is expected too much in the workplace.

Second, irresponsible jokes spread.

For example, at the press conference, a male colleague ran to guide the media to enter, but the cigarette in his hand didn't come and go out for a while, so he asked a female colleague to help him get it. It happened that the leader directly under the leadership passed by and saw the girl take a cigarette and joked: You actually smoke. The female colleague laughed and cried, and the joke explained several misunderstandings and solved them. I didn't take it seriously at first, but almost everyone in the whole office knows that this girl smokes, and they often make fun of her about it. At the level of spreading news, colleagues often don't spread jokes responsibly. They don't know how important a thing you think is, and they don't need to know what the truth is. They just treat it as a joke after dinner and have no responsibility to keep their mouths shut. So if you define friends as keeping secrets for you, listening to all your complaints and grievances and understanding your heart, then obviously your expectations are too high.

Third, perception is biased.

For example, two female colleagues engaged in international business hit it off very well. Both of them graduated from the Chinese University of Hong Kong and later studied in the United States or were neighbors. They have similar aesthetics and many languages. One of them often shows the interaction with the other on INS and Weibo, and occasionally has photos of having afternoon tea together on weekends, which is very happy. As a result, the other party repeatedly said in public that he was just a colleague and didn't know him very well. This situation is not uncommon. The cognition of friendship is biased. You regard each other as good friends, but they are actually just your acquaintances. So if you define friendship as how I treat you in the workplace, you will treat me, which obviously increases your disappointment.

Fourth, make good friends with the boss. You should be prepared for "adventure"

It is said that the workplace is flat management, but no matter which company is on the right track, those prominent startups will have a slightly improved management model. You can imagine how difficult it is to rise from one level to another. The so-called leader's salary will be much higher than that of ordinary employees, even if the amateur subsidy is not high. To achieve flat management in China, we can only say that the attitude is not so bureaucratic, but the leaders should always respect your superiors and leaders. I once met a very pretentious graduate who wanted to rectify the company's business as soon as he came up. He often negates the decisions of his superiors and leaders and comes up with a specious plan. It wasn't long before I was left out by my colleagues and finally applied for resignation. So if you are eager to be friends with the leader, the premise is to act according to his mind, and you are eager to communicate with him on an equal footing from the beginning, which is very risky and not worth the candle.

Fifth, making friends in the workplace should be mature.

You can make real friends in the workplace, but you should lower your expectations appropriately. Children have the strategy of friends, and adults also have the strategy of friends. Simply defining a friend as your favorite object, it is very immature to see that everyone wants each other to be their friends, but they always let each other understand and affirm themselves and keep secrets for themselves. There may not be no friends in the workplace, but it depends on how such friends are positioned.