Who has the funniest joke in the world? ~

/f?kz=78476649

Indecent

Ami, whose breasts were not very good, came back from work and said angrily:

" When I was passing through a dark alley, a man suddenly hugged me from behind and wanted to molest me."

Brother: "No wonder you are so angry..."

Ami: "More. What's annoying is that the man said: "What a disappointment, it's a man!"

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There is such a thing

A conversation between a man and a doctor

"Doctor, my wife and I both have black hair. Why will the child we give birth to have brown hair?" 』

『Do you have sex every day? 』

『No. 』

『Sex every week? 』

『No. 』

『Have sex every month? 』

『No. 』

『Once every six months? 』

『No. 』

『Only once a year? 』

『Almost. 』

『That’s right, your baby is rusty, that’s why the child’s hair is brown. 』

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Mark

An old woman kept a pair of parrots as companions, but she couldn't figure out which one was the male? Which one is female?

So I called the veterinarian for advice.

The veterinarian suggested:

"As long as you observe their mating behavior, the male bird is riding on it. Then,

you mark the male bird so there will be no confusion. 』

In the early morning of the next day, according to the veterinarian's instructions, when the parrots were mating, she put a white tape on the neck of the male parrot to distinguish them.

That afternoon, the pastor of the church came to visit. When the parrot saw the white clothes on the pastor's robe, it

shouted: "Oh!" I know what good things you have done. Look, you are also marked. 』

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Dinner

Three men were chatting in the restaurant. One of them said: "I just called home and said I'll be home in an hour

and by then my wife will have dinner ready. "

Another person said: "I just need to take the bus back and make a call at the stop sign. In fifteen minutes, dinner will be ready.

』

After listening to the conversation between the two, the other person said: "I don't have to call back at all. I just need to get off the bus

stop, go to the convenience store to buy dinner, and then go back." I ring the doorbell at home and immediately walk to the back door. I can usually hit a man with my dinner. 』

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It will be wrong

A couple held a wedding ceremony in the church. When it came time to exchange rings, they were too nervous. The groom

actually forgot about it.

The pastor anxiously raised his finger, making a ring-like gesture, and blinked to hint to the groom.

The groom's face turned red and he stammered: "Pastor, didn't that just happen on the bridal night?" 』

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The sound of the hymen

Zhuzhu, who was getting married the next day, worriedly said to her sister-in-law:

『What to do? He always thought that I was still a virgin. On tomorrow’s wedding night, he will definitely find out

I am not a virgin at all...』

『It doesn’t matter, this I have experience. "My sister-in-law provided the magic weapon and said: "I will give you a small wallet with a metal buckle. When you go to bed tomorrow, you put it under your buttocks and hold it with one hand. p>

When the baby is put inside you, you fasten the metal buckle. He will definitely ask you what the sound is?

Just tell him that this is the sound of the hymen breaking. 』

On the wedding night, Zhuzhu followed the method mentioned by her sister-in-law, and the groom shouted:

"What is this sound?" 』

Zhuzhu said shyly:

"This is the sound of my hymen breaking." 』

『What? Open your damn hymen, it's holding my precious balls. 』

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God created man

The son who had just entered elementary school asked his father a question.

‘Dad, why did God create men first and then women? 』

"Maybe he didn't want a woman to nag in his ear when he was creating a man

Stop it! 』

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Waiting for the bus

The husband suddenly came home early and saw his wife lying naked on the bed panting, and he became suspicious. Opening the closet door, a naked man stood inside holding a briefcase.

『What are you doing here? ’ the husband asked sharply.

The man trembled and said: "If I said I was waiting for the bus, would you believe it?" 』

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The resentment is hard to go away

The judge looked at the defendant and said: "Have I seen you before? You seem familiar." . 』

The defendant said hopefully: "Yes!" Judge, have you forgotten? Twenty-one years ago, I introduced you to your honorable husband

. 』

The judge gritted his teeth and said, "I'll sentence you to twenty years' imprisonment." 』

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Record

A man went to visit a couple friends whom he had not seen for a long time. He stayed overnight and stayed with the couple* **Sleep

on the same bed.

The man and the wife were so lustful that they had sex while her husband was sleeping. Whenever

the two of them were having trouble, the man would pull out a hair from his husband's leg to make sure he was asleep. After doing this five times, the husband got up angrily and said :

"It doesn't matter what you want to do with my wife!" But please don’t pluck my leg hair for record keeping.

』

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Not afraid of your wife

In the PTT (Private Fear of the Wife) conference, a group of henpecked husbands gathered together to discuss how to re- Invigorate the great power

.

Suddenly, someone came and said:

"Your wives have heard the news and have made an appointment to come and settle accounts with you!" 』

When everyone heard this, they were so scared that they ran away in all directions. Only one person sat there calmly. Everyone

praised this man for being very brave and not afraid of his wife. After a long time, he looked closer and found that this man

had been "scared to death". 』

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Thermometer

The husband came home from get off work early and saw his wife lying in bed with the doctor next door.

『What are you doing? 』

『Don’t get me wrong, I am taking your wife’s temperature. ” The doctor hurriedly defended himself.

『Oh! Yeah? If the thing you inserted into my wife's body was not calibrated, you would be dead.

』

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Leather Coat

While taking the elevator, the man was surprised to find a naked woman in the elevator.

The woman rolled her eyes at him and cursed:

‘What are you looking at? What’s there to see! 』

『Oh! I just wanted to say that my wife also has a leather jacket like this. 』

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Hymen's Guarantee

On the eve of her wedding, the bride rekindled her old love with her ex-boyfriend, and she was overcome by lust. When I went to bed, since I didn't bring a condom, I used ham-wrapped plastic wrap instead. The adhesive film fell off during sex and remained in the bride

without being removed.

On the night of the wedding, the piece of film stuck to the groom's baby again. The groom asked in surprise:

"What is this?" 』

『It’s my hymen. ” said the bride, pretending to be coquettish.

『Oh! This is the first time I have seen a hymen with a quality guarantee certificate. 』

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Breeding pigs

There was a playboy who went to hell after death. King Luo asked him what he wanted to do in his next life. ?

『Breeding pig! ’ replied the playboy.

『Why? ” King Luo asked puzzledly.

『Because you don’t have to spend money to be happy, how wonderful it is! 』

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Heart-loving

One morning at Xiao Ming’s house, Xiao Ming’s father was having breakfast, so Xiao Ming walked over and asked his father

Said: "Dad, does the heart have feet?"; Dad pointed to the position of the heart and said: "How can the heart here

have feet?"; Xiao Ming replied : "Oh!", then Xiao Ming walked into the kitchen and asked his mother: "Mom, does the liver have legs?"; his mother pointed to the location of the liver and said: "Silly boy, the liver is here.

Why do you have feet?" Xiao Ming said again: "But I clearly heard it last night

......My dear. .......Open your feet......

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Myopia

A man and a woman were having sex in the park.

Female: "Can you take off your glasses? They hurt my thighs..." A few minutes later.

Female: "Can you put on your glasses? You are kissing the chair..."

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An interesting anecdote about newlyweds

There was a newlywed couple. The husband had to go to work in the morning. Before going out, the wife asked him:

"What are you going to eat for dinner after get off work today?" ”

The husband whispered in his wife’s ear: “Eat you!” After saying that, he went out to work.

When my husband came home from get off work in the evening, he saw his wife running naked in the living room as soon as he opened the door.

The husband asked in confusion: "Wife, what are you doing?" 』

『I’m heating up the food! 』

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Pay the price

A man who got off work early found his wife and a man when he came home

A strange man was having sex on the bed. He said angrily and loudly:

"You bastard, I will make you pay for this."

"Nonsense," The strange man replied:

"I already paid when I came in, I won't default on it!"

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Passing through customs

Foreign Minister Hu Zhiqiang often went abroad for meetings with Jiao Renhe.

Once, when two people were passing through customs, Hu Zhiqiang walked in front and Jiao Renhe followed.

The customs officer first asked Hu Zhiqiang: "Is your surname Hu? (Are you happy)"

Hu Zhiqiang quickly replied: "Very happy!"

When it was Jiao Renhe's turn, the customs officer asked Jiao Renhe again: "Is your surname Jiao?"

Jiao Renhe thought about it and finally replied in a very firm tone:

"Probably Twice a month!"

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Microscope

One day of biological experiments, observe your own saliva cells, use a microscope to see and

Record it... While everyone was observing and studying happily, there was a scream

...ah~~~~

It turned out to be Sent by the beautiful teaching assistant....

The professor thought something had happened, so he ran over to take a look. After carefully looking at her

microscope, he said to her:

『Next time you finish your work, remember to brush your teeth and rinse your mouth! ! ! 』

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Wedding Anniversary

One day, Xiao Li decided to give his wife a surprise because of her ninth wedding anniversary.

So he dressed up as a strange man and brought a flower to give to his wife.

After he rang the doorbell, his wife opened the door and said:

"Come in quickly, my husband hasn’t come back yet.~~~~~"

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Is this considered a disease?

My younger brother has three testicles. I really want to ask my brother if this is a disease.

He hinted to his brother and said: "Brother, there are five of us in total"

My brother said: "Ah~~! You only have one!"

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No random development

Wife: Why don't you let me get breast augmentation!

Husband: Don’t you know that you can’t develop randomly on hillside land?

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Apply

A large company applied for secretaries, and four applicants came.

So the boss asked them to answer a question.

Q: Women have two mouths. What are the differences between them?

The first person thought for a while and answered: One is horizontal and the other is straight.

The boss is very satisfied.

The second person said: One has hair and the other has no hair.

That’s right, the boss thought.

The third person thought, Oh no! Everything that was originally thought of has been said.

We had to make a hard decision: one can speak and the other cannot.

The boss said: OK.

The fourth place is very difficult. After thinking about it for a long time, I really can’t think of anything different.

Finally, I had an idea and said: One is for myself and the other is for you,

Chairman! !

The fourth one got the job.

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Still a virgin

A girl arrived at the gate of heaven, and the gatekeeper asked: Are you a virgin?

She said: Of course!

But when the gatekeeper checked her hymen, seven slight holes were found.

So the goalkeeper asked her name.

She answered: My name is "Snow White"

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A couple visited the farm, and the owner proudly introduced a champion Breeding cow.

The wife asked: "How many times does it mate a week?"

The farm owner said: "Five or six times."

The wife was very happy immediately He said to the gentleman with disdain: "Look!

I do this five or six times a week."

The farm owner quickly helped the gentleman out of danger and said: "

Of course, we never mate it with the same cow over and over again.』

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After the passion between a dog and a man passed, the man asked:

"Which man am I?"

The woman looked at the ceiling without answering.

After a while, the man asked again Once again, and said apologetically:

"I know it's not polite to ask, but I really want to know."

The woman looked obviously impatient:

"Don't interrupt, I'll do the math again."

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A middle-aged man asked a doctor for help: "My wife keeps complaining about my Sexual ability is declining day by day.』

The doctor said: "Don't worry, this bottle of medicine can restore your virility."

A few days later, the man came back for a follow-up visit. He told the doctor Said: "Great! After taking your medicine,

Now I can have sex three times a day."

The doctor said: "I think your wife must be very satisfied."

The middle-aged man said: "I don't know! I haven't gone home since then"

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A man went to find him A family physician,

He asked: "Doctor, I'm getting married, but it's my first time with my girlfriend.

Can you tell us what to do?" 』

The doctor has watched the man grow up.

Hearing this question was a little uncomfortable

So he looked outside and said

: "Look over there, do you see the two dogs in the park?

Do you see what they are doing? Just go home and do the same."

Two months later, when they met again,

the doctor asked: "How is your sex life?

The man replied: "It's very good, it's just real sex in the park. It’s a bit cold, and there will be people peeking.』

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Three men... met at the entrance of heaven... and an angel asked. ..

How did the three of you die...

The first person cried and said...I got up too late that day...

p>

I hurried downstairs... I took a taxi with disheveled clothes... But I was so desperate...

A refrigerator fell from the sky... So I It's so awkward... Wu...

The second one...I was on a business trip that day...and I came back early to give my wife a surprise...

I didn’t expect to hear a man’s voice in the room... I walked in very angry.. Unexpectedly

I didn’t see anyone.. I went to take a look outside the window.. .Haha.. There was a disheveled person in a hurry

He wanted to call a taxi and ran away...

I smashed the refrigerator

I went...I was sentenced to gun fraud...Ugh...

The third one said it...I was wronged...I was dating someone new My sister is gentle...

Her husband is back... In a moment of desperation... I hid in the refrigerator...

But There was a bang...I didn't know anything...it just came...

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Professor asks medical students to list human milk Five reasons why it is better than milk. The answer written by a student

is:

1. Fast

2. Clean

3. Safe, cats can’t eat it

4. Easy to carry when traveling

5. Beautiful container

1. Don’t worry about getting cold

2. When drinking, it has a psychological therapeutic effect

3. When drinking, it has a physiological therapeutic effect

4. Use high-quality disposable tableware

5. Because humans are better than cows, human milk is better than cow milk

It can also be kept warm!

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A house for rent to There were many men and women, so the bathroom had to be used alone, so it took a long time to take a shower.

One night, Xiao Wu came back from outside and wanted to take a bath, but there happened to be a woman taking a bath in the bathroom.

So Xiao Wu asked: "Miss, is there someone washing down there?" After hearing this, the little sister replied angrily: "I know how to wash down there myself! It's boring~"

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This is a report from the International Health Organization (WHO): WHO recently conducted a medical study in various countries around the world, titled : "What is the function of the glans in front of the male penis?" 』

The Russians spent a million dollars and top medical personnel to come up with the answer first: "The function of the glans is to make men have greater pleasure during sex!" 』

The French did not fall behind others and spent a million dollars to work with top medical personnel to come up with the answer first:

"The function of the glans is to make women have greater vaginal function during sex." Pleasure! 』

In the end, the Polish only spent $2.95 to come up with the answer: "The function of the glans is to prevent

the palm from slipping!" 』

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Name-correction campaign

The "goddess" by the Love River in Kaohsiung came to the city council one day and asked for them to have one

p>

Formal professional name...

Member: What title are you going to use? Isn’t it bad to be a goddess?

Prostitute:: It’s not bad... We want a more formal name...

Member:: What do you want to use?

Prostitute:: We want to use a new name----gt; gt; prostitute The reporter...

At this time, the reporters who were standing by were furious...

Reporter:: How can you restrain... This is not to confuse the audience

At this time, the prostitutes said loudly...

Why not? You reporters are in the "service industry"... so are we...

You are "welcome articles" ...We are also welcome to come and do it!!

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New nomenclature

One day, an Indian child Asked his father: "dad, where did my name come from?" The father replied: "Our tribe always names children after the first thing the father sees when they are born

Named "Like your brother, when he was just born, I saw Qingshan as soon as I went out, so he was named Blue-mountain

Like your sister, when she was just born, I As soon as he went out, he saw the bird flying, so he called it Bird-flying. This is the way our tribe named it.

My father paused for a moment, then turned around and said, "Yes. Okay, Dog-fucking, what question did you just ask me?"