Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Ask for a particularly funny joke, just have fun, one more point, not enough rounding. Not if everyone knows, 3Q! !
Ask for a particularly funny joke, just have fun, one more point, not enough rounding. Not if everyone knows, 3Q! !
My mother said my IQ was only 76. I don't know how high my IQ is I only know that I am a very lethal person. Many people have been hurt because of me. Some of them lost hope in life, and some even committed suicide. So I have always suspected that I have a potential super power, and this ability is particularly powerful for my teacher for some reason.
I remember the first teacher who died because of me. At that time, I was in the first grade of primary school, and the teacher took us to the wild for a science class. Seeing the spring breeze blowing green and the willows sprouting branches, the teacher couldn't help thinking of a question, so he asked, "Students, do you know how to tell the wind direction?" "I know!" A little girl in my class replied, picking up a leaf from the ground and throwing it into the air. "Pick up something and throw it into the air and watch it float there." "Well, that's good." The teacher praised, "Are there any other students willing to show you again and see what is blowing now?" "me." I volunteered, picked up half a brick from the ground and threw it into the air ... "Teacher, it's blowing up and down now!" "
I can't remember clearly what the teacher looked like at that time. I only remember that he struggled a few times and then died. Later, according to the hospital doctor, he died because of sudden strong stimulation, which led to retrograde qi and blood. In this way, I killed a people's teacher
The first grade teacher taught us poultry and animals.
Teacher: "There is an animal with two feet. Every morning when the sun comes out, it will wake you up and wake you up. What animal is it? "
I replied, "Mom!" Laughing so hard that the teacher almost died!
After I came home from the mid-term exam, my mother asked me how I did in the exam. My baby son said, I didn't ask any questions. Mom, what's the purpose of the question? My baby son said there was a question: What is 3 times 7? Willy-nilly, I added 15. My mother sprayed the water she just drank on my father's face. Oh, I'm great!
My father asked me how school was.
"Dear son," the father asked, "is your female teacher satisfied with you?"
"Ah, yes, Dad, very satisfied."
"How do you know? Did she tell you herself? "
"Of course, dad. The day before yesterday, she said to me,' If all the students are like you, I will leave school at once!' This shows that I have learned everything. "
One day in math class, the teacher asked 1+ 1=? , I said I don't know. The teacher asked me to ask. I asked my mother who was cooking to let me out. I asked my father who was watching the ball, and he shouted "cool". I asked my sister, and she sang until the baby. I asked my brother who was on the phone, and he said, "I'll wait for you outside."
The next day, the teacher asked 1+ 1=? I said: get out of here, the teacher slapped me, I shouted cool, the teacher called me useless, and I called me mean. The teacher said, get out! I said, I'll wait for you outside. Our math teacher fell ill with high blood pressure on the spot and fainted. ...
Later, the new teacher at school asked us to make sentences, and I finished my homework leisurely. The teacher was very impressed with me. The sentence I wrote is:
Sad-the ditch in front of our house is very sad.
If canned food is not as nutritious as fruit juice.
Naive-it's really hot today, and it's a good day for swimming.
Ten points-it's a pity that my sister only got ten points in math.
Relax, I always start with simple things.
Ginseng-the teacher said that we should take part in the relay of the brigade tomorrow, so we must do our best.
Quilt-Xiaoyu's sanitary quilt was stolen.
Lunch-Xiaoming takes defecation as the first thing to get up every morning.
The teacher touched my head and said sternly, "Go home from school and do your homework 10 times." When I got home, I was ready to finish the homework assigned by the substitute teacher when there was no one there. I went to the bathroom and began to dig dung and paint the wall. I painted the bathroom ten times before I stopped. My family came back to scold me. The next day, my mother went to the headmaster to tell the substitute teacher about the misunderstanding, and later the substitute teacher was fired.
One morning in class, while chewing gum, I put my feet on the aisle. At this moment, the teacher said to me, "Please spit out your mouth and put your feet in."
My brain:. . . . . . .
In the days that followed, several teachers suffered misfortune one after another. Fortunately, no one died and there was no big leak.
But my fame spread like wildfire and I became a celebrity in the city for a time. However, celebrities also have the pain of celebrities, and I deeply realized this. When I was in junior high school, the physics teacher asked me, "What do you say? How to change the track?" Me: "According to the Diamond Sutra, people who do bad things in Yangshiguang will become ghosts!" " It turned out that the teacher was talking about how the satellite changed its orbit.
The next day, in the exam, the biology teacher brought a bird covered with cloth, and then he exposed the bird's leg for the students to guess what kind of bird it was. I really don't know, so I handed in a blank sheet of paper. The teacher looked very angry and asked, "Why did you hand in a blank sheet of paper?" What's your name? "When I heard this, I rolled up my trouser legs angrily and said," Now it's your turn to guess who I am? "The biology teacher immediately fell down.
My fame has caused me a lot of trouble. For the safety of teachers, all middle schools in the city refused to accept me. No way, I went to the countryside with infinite yearning for key middle schools. Although the conditions of middle schools in rural areas are a little bitter, I can live happily without the pressure of public opinion. However, gold always shines, and the unique silence of rural middle schools did not restrain my outbreak. By chance, I was born again, suddenly emerged, and quickly occupied the rural market.
It was a quiz, and our class was tied with another class after the final. So the host announced the final competition mode: each class draws lots to send a representative. Two representatives will guess the coin again. The right person asks the wrong person a question. If the wrong person answers correctly, the wrong person wins. On the other hand, the right class won. Spirit of heaven, spirit of the earth, my job is to hide. As a representative, I was drawn, successfully guessed the wrong coin and entered the question-and-answer stage. Teachers and classmates suddenly became nervous, and everyone looked at me with eager eyes. Miss Li, especially the head teacher, looks heavy and says nothing. I also felt some pressure, but not because of this, but because of my opponent-Wang Xiaofo, who was the most powerful "teacher killer" in our school at that time, and he also saved several human cases. It is said that the last headmaster was destroyed by him. However, I still have some confidence, because in any case, I am also a person who has criticized. The problem begins.
Wang Xiaofo put his hands in his pockets and said slowly, "My mother cooked some eggs in my pocket today. Do you know how many? " "hey!" There was an uproar around. I don't know why everyone is booing, but I know this question has aroused my great interest. Eggs! I hardly heard what he asked. I only heard the word "egg" clearly. You know, in the hard years in the countryside, there was almost nothing to eat. There are two eggs that are really delicious. I seem to see shiny egg white and yellow and tender yolk ... "If I get it right, will you give me one to eat?" I have long forgotten what quizzes and class honors are. I'm only interested in eggs, eggs! "If you get it right, I'll give you two eggs." "hey!" There is an uproar again. I saw the other classmate's face startled, and the classmates cheered and hugged each other to celebrate the victory. Miss Li also gave me a happy look. I don't know what they are happy about, but everyone is smiling at me. I smiled shyly at them and then answered, "Is it five?"
The students' smiles suddenly stopped, and gradually, the ebb tide generally disappeared without a trace. Another classmate suddenly shouted and laughed. Things in this world change quickly. In a blink of an eye, everyone was crying and laughing and didn't know what to do. I haven't had time to think it over. The meeting was suddenly in chaos. I saw a man lying on his back, spraying blood in his mouth, and then slowly fell down.
"Miss Li!" "Miss Li!"
It's our head teacher! I rushed there, too. I saw the teacher pale, eyes closed and unconscious. "He killed Miss Li!" "It's him!" "It's him!" Brush! Brush! Brush! Brush! Brush brush! ! ! Angry eyes shot at me like sharp arrows.
My eyes went blank, and a voice came back to my ear: "Duo Long! Close the door! Let the dog go! Idle people will all retreat! "
Later, it was said that Miss Li did not die, but was seriously ill. After leaving the hospital, she saw through the world of mortals and became a monk in Wutai Mountain. She never taught again.
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