I read a joke. Help me find it.

Lu Xun said that there is no ugliness in the world. There are many handsome people, and there are ugly ones. When I come, there will be no ugliness!

Descartes said, I think therefore I am, and Descartes changed his mind after seeing me:

I am handsome, so I came. The tone is very strong.

I grew up in a school for the disabled. I first studied in the ugly class for a few days, which made all my classmates narcissistic, so I set up a special class called the ugly N-th class.

First love is of course online love. On the day we met, she went crazy 50 meters away from me. My parents reported the case, and the court held that it was not my fault to be ugly, but it was my fault to ask out to scare people. I was sentenced to plastic surgery for three years, and the ugliness was even worse.

All my friends are ugly, single and convinced, except one, who vowed to get married. That day, he stopped a stunning beauty in the street and handed me a photo, which was a photo of me and him. After seeing it, the beauty silently went home to get the dowry and married him that day. I dare to go out at night. Wear sunglasses masks, braces and earmuffs when going out, and sneak through the wall to drill bridge opening, but it's still empty. The traffic police reported to the CMC 1 10, 1 10, and the CMC led large troops to watch in an organized and disciplined manner.

I did attend the Global 500 Ugly Conference, but as soon as I saw my real person, they typed me out and changed the banner of the venue: "Global 499 Handsome Conference".

Someone threw pig fetuses, threw sulfuric acid, and made a special trip to find me ugly. As soon as he met head-on from the door mirror, he ran away. Come on, I vaguely heard him growling in the wind. "How ugly!" "

Britain, Russia, Japan, France, Germany, the United States, Italy, Austria, no matter which dictionary explains the word "ugly", it will always be: building a wall with a horizontal knife, and everyone on earth knows and recognizes these four square characters.

The Red Cross is discussing a plan to vaccinate people all over the world. It is said that the vaccine can automatically produce mosaic effect when others see me.

When the flood situation was severe, a big leader took me to help on a bicycle, and I went after three invitations. After a hearty meal, I said three shameless words "I'm not ugly" to the river, and suddenly the Yangtze River went backwards, making the country peaceful and the people safe.

I was born twice. The first time, a doctor pulled me out of the womb and suddenly fainted. A nurse closed her eyes and groped for me and stuffed me back ... After the second child was born, everyone in the hospital was hiding in the morgue and crying. The dean slapped himself and blamed himself for being as blind as a bat and should not be greedy for money to take over my business ... maternal love is great. She didn't abandon me and raise me, but

At the age of eleven, when I was in the third grade, the whole class was the most curious and desperately wanted to see what I looked like behind the mask. A classmate named Li Dadan tore off my mask when I peed. Since then, Li Dadan has suffered from a strange disease, unable to speak, with dull eyes, doing nothing all day, killing people without blinking, and crying as soon as he closes his eyes. ....

After the people from the Education Bureau saw me, the director immediately resigned and resigned to the sea, which triggered a chain reaction, and educational institutions all over the country closed down and were paralyzed. .....

I was walking in the street, and people on the roadside were vomiting wildly. A group of pigs rushed in front of me from behind, scrambling to wear me red flowers, give me trophies and give me certificates, which read: the savior of pigs.

Next door, Pockmarked Liu's daughter-in-law wants to tell him that his pockmarked face is disgusting and must leave! ! ! It happened that I went to their window.

As soon as Pockmarked Liu's wife saw me, she stopped talking and took out money to go to the insurance company to insure Pockmarked Liu's wife. One Pockmarked Liu was 10,000. ....

It once again alarmed the United Nations. Annan was at his wit's end and asked me to have a facelift, but it didn't work. All plastic surgeons cried when they saw me, and nearly half of them went to a mental hospital. All the symptoms are the same, except one sentence: ugly ... ugly. ....

Arafat sent a special plane to pick me up and asked me to stand at the gate of the presidential palace to resist the siege of the Israeli army. I stood there for a minute, the Israeli army retreated, and Sharon was forced to resign. The whole Palestinian nation rejoiced, but when Arafat wanted to introduce me as a national hero, the Palestinian people could not find me with lanterns. ....

A writer came to me with tears in his eyes: When I was so old, my biggest dream was to take Nobel Prize in Literature once. Now the master is too powerful ... I have a unique skill. As long as I can write a book in front of you, I will definitely win the prize! ! ! I don't believe it.

So he stayed with me for a week and wrote a novel of 5 million words. As a result, he took away the Nobel Prize in Medicine ... The Nobel Headquarters announced that if words describing my face could be found in the world, it would win the literary prize. As a result, all writers switched to buying pork, and Nobel Prize in Literature disappeared. ....

The National Football Association specially recruited me to join the team, hoping to really rush out of Asia. In the World Cup, China didn't concede a goal, and every game was 12:0. After playing football, we had a picnic on the lawn. I was alone in front of the goal BBQ, and the opposing players, including the goalkeeper, vomited, and the referee couldn't even get a red card. Of course, our players have also gone through a gradual process.

At the beginning of the world lying contest, players of all races boasted for the first time. I went on stage, won the championship in only three words, and kept the title forever. I said, I'm not ugly. ..

I cried at night, looked at the moon and asked softly, me, is it nice? A white object landed gently on the moon. I picked it up and saw that it was a white rabbit trampled to death by Jiuyin's white bone claw. .....

I shouted at the sky: God, am I the ugliest? It suddenly began to rain heavily, and I felt it, and it was all vomit. ......

I left this world and came to this ancient castle. I asked the mirror: mirror, mirror, who is the ugliest in the world? The mirror burst into tears and committed suicide. .....

God forbid, why did you give birth to me? I held a grudge and finally got depressed. Who knows, that terrible man gave me an Amnesty and let me go back to earth. .....

So I wandered around the world, having nothing to do, just playing online. I wanted to chat, so I applied for a QQ number. Who knows ... system prompt: because of your disgusting face (please forgive me, my literary level is not high, I can only explain this), even if I die, my company will not provide you with the code. ....

The beauty of the best joke:

Laughter: Beauty Confessions How can I be so beautiful?

My little name is Xiaomei and my big name is Damei.

It is said that when I was born, I came out laughing. The nurse carried me to the delivery room. I smiled. I don't want all pregnant women with baby boys in the whole room to give birth prematurely. Those baby boys blinked and followed me around, still babbling in their mouths: beauty! Beautiful!

When I was a child, my family hired a female college student as a tutor. After teaching for a day, she left because she felt too inferior in front of me. After that, she never looked in the mirror again and cried as soon as she did. I spent my childhood at home, afraid to go out, because once I went to the park, drivers and pedestrians on the road stared at me, resulting in 8 cars being hit, 7 people being injured, 6 cyclists falling into the sewer and 5 people hitting the telephone pole. I went to the park once, and the next day, the flowers in the park withered. At that time, I didn't know what beauty was and why.

I was veiled at home when I was studying. I didn't lift the veil until I went to college. There is a beauty queen in the university who has a strong self-esteem. One day she accidentally saw my face, and she suddenly became unhappy. A few days later, she disappeared. I heard from my classmates that she went to Korea for plastic surgery. When the beauty queen came back from plastic surgery, she stole a look at my face, walked away silently without saying a word, and went to Korea the next day.

For this, I feel deeply guilty. I ran to the overpass at night and cried. When I lifted my veil to wipe my tears, I was accidentally photographed by a reporter. The next day, the photo was published in the newspaper. On the third day, all the men in the city demanded a divorce. During the day, men wandered on the overpass where I once stood, and at night, they slept on the overpass with quilts on their shoulders.

I ran to the seaside and asked myself, am I really that beautiful? I didn't believe it, so I ran to a hotel and opened a room. I face the mirror in the bathroom. I looked at myself quietly. Suddenly, I choked up, my heart slowed down and my mind went blank. I know I will be beautiful alone.