Short and funny double act lines

Nowadays, lines are used in more and more places. Lines generally include dialogue, monologue and narration. So what kind of lines do everyone praise? Below are short and funny double act lines that I have compiled for you. I hope it will be helpful to you.

Props: one chair, two wireless microphones, melon cap, wig, etc.

A: The leader arranged for me to perform a show, which really embarrassed me. You talk about singing, but you like to go off-key. You talk about dancing, but the movements don't match. You talk about acting in sketches, but they are not funny. I have thought of a program and I need an audience member to come forward and help me. He just needs to read the script. It’s very simple. Is there anyone willing?

(B comes on stage)

B: Can I do it?

A: What is your surname?

B : My surname is Zhu.

A: I said Zhu, this is not polite. Xiao Zhu, do you know what a double act is?

B: Is one speaking behind and the other speaking behind? The one I did before...

A: That’s right.

B: I’ve seen it before.

A: You want to help me, the one who reads the lyrics at the end. B: That’s easy. Do you have any words?

A: Yes, I have already prepared it. (passing the words) You familiarize yourself with the words, and I’ll put on makeup. (Make-up on the side)

B: (Reading words) There are many happy events in reform and opening up...

A: Okay, we can start. I sit on the chair and you hide behind the chair. As soon as I slap my hands, you start.

(Everyone takes his or her place)

B: There are many happy events for the reform and opening up...

A: Uh-huh, I didn’t even slap you. You are the best Started? Start over.

B: Okay.

A: (Applause)

B: There are many happy events in the reform and opening up. Mobile antennas are set up on the hillsides. My children’s mobile phones are given to me, and I can make calls from all over the world. It’s a great time to celebrate the New Year. The house is full of New Year’s goods. I eat too much big fish and meat. I just want to eat Ka Huan Xi Tuo.

A: (As if making a cell phone call)

B: Hey, are you getting slapped? You went to the city and wanted to fight with your son Yinwa Yin! Come back soon. !What are you doing when you come back? Come back and fry Huanxi Tuo for me to eat. Hey, you brought back a few kilograms of Huifeng wine with me. Hey, hey, you brought back those firecrackers with me.

A: (Put down the phone)

B: The transportation is convenient and the bus is fast. My wife will be home soon. I have prepared the glutinous rice noodles and will wait for you to put them on the pot. The fire is blazing and the oil is boiling, and the fragrance of joy is floating inside and outside the house.

A: (Take and eat)

B: Oh, it’s so hot! ...It’s so delicious. Eat one more... oh,... eat one more, oops, eat one more, oops, eat one more... A: (I can’t stand the burning) Stop, stop, stop, you want to burn me to death?

< p> B: Didn’t you say Huanxi Tuo is delicious? I want you to eat more.

A: It just exploded. It made my mouth hot!

B: Okay, let me pay attention next.

A: Come again, pay attention. (Applause)

B: After eating Huanxituo, I want to drink some wine. Jingshan Huifeng wine tastes really good. Don't have anyone to accompany you? I'll call my son.

Person A: (making a cell phone call)

Person B: Hello! Son, can you come back and drink with me? An? Your mobile company is building a provincial-level civilized unit and is very busy. Then? Forget it, I'll fight against the mirror!

A: (Put down the phone)

B: I'll clean the mirror first. Ha ha.

A: (Breathe, wipe the mirror)

B: Low affection, add one digit, weak affection, drink cola, have affection, drink liquor, have strong affection, drink high, affection Okay, let’s have a bowl of fun, with deep feelings and a clear mouthful!

A: (Appearing drunk)

B: I drank bowl after bowl, bowl after bowl. Uh, is this tongue... is Lang disobedient? The earth is really... really spinning! There are... stars in the sky! Oops, I have to... need to relieve myself!

A: (feeling like holding urine, get up and walk)

B: A pound of wine, still walking, swaying to the door, opening the door and then relieving himself. Oops, once the hand is released, people will be relieved a lot.

A: (Return to the original seat) B: Come on, keep drinking! After drinking liquor and beer, one cup after another... I only heard my wife yell: It's the one who peed into the refrigerator! Oops! I just went to relieve myself. When I opened the door, I saw a sensor light inside the door...

A: (Pull out B) Uh-huh, I may not be so drunk. !

Person B: People who urinate into their pants after drinking too much are not human beings!

Person A: What you say seriously affects the image of modern farmers!

B: Let me pay more attention.

A: Come again. (Applause)

B: It’s really lively during the Chinese New Year. Every household posts couplets and young and old set off firecrackers. Nowadays, whipping is no longer allowed in the city, but in our hometown we still have open fires. I asked Bazi to bring back the cannon that Sun Wazi played with, and I took it out to play with!

A: (Take out the lighter)

< p> B: You men, go to the border, this whip is so loud!

A: (Light the whip, throw the whip)

B: Hiss...

A: (covering ears)

B: Bah! Interesting, here’s another one.

A: (Point the whip, throw the whip, repeat twice)

B: Hiss..., hiss..., hiss...

A: ( After there is no hissing, pick up the whip and look at it)

B: Bang!!

A: (Fall to the ground)

B: It’s crooked! (Take it Take out your mobile phone and dial) 120. Please come to Yuanyang River in Green Forest Town as soon as possible. An old naughty boy is injured! (Puts up the armor on his back) Since you are full of ambition and lack of strength, why bother drinking and setting off firecrackers! (Under the armor on the back)