How to laugh at yourself

Koreans laugh at themselves and say, "In Korea, there are many people who sell golf, but few people can really play golf."

Americans laugh at themselves and say, "In America, there are many people who help basketball stars in lawsuits, but few people can really play basketball."

The fans said, "In China, there are many fortune tellers for the China football team, but few people can really play football."

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Humor has always been called a language art that only smart people can master, and self-mockery is also called the highest realm of humor. It can be seen that those who can laugh at themselves must be the wise among the wise and the master among the masters. Self-mockery is a technique that people who lack self-confidence dare not use, because it requires you to scold yourself. That is to say, we should "poke fun at" our own mistakes, shortcomings and even physical defects, instead of covering up and avoiding the ugliness and shame, we should enlarge, exaggerate and analyze it, and then skillfully extend it, justify it and get a smile. Without an open-minded, optimistic, detached and ridiculous mentality and mind, it is impossible to do it. It is conceivable that people who are self-righteous, haggle over every ounce and mean are hard to match. It is safest to laugh at yourself without hurting anyone. You can use it to enliven the conversation atmosphere and eliminate tension; Ask for steps in embarrassment and save face; Get the human touch on public occasions; In special circumstances, innuendo, stab a unreasonable villain.

1. tickle yourself and laugh at yourself

in interpersonal communication, when you are ashamed in front of others and are in an awkward position, using self-deprecation to deal with the dilemma can not only easily find the steps, but also produce humorous effects. Therefore, it is a clever way to laugh at yourself, tickle yourself a few times and laugh first.

It is said that in ancient times, there was a bachelor of stone who accidentally fell to the ground while riding a donkey, and most people would be at a loss. But the bachelor of stone stood up unhurriedly and said, "I am a bachelor of stone, but if I am a tile, I won't break into pieces?" A punch line made the people present laugh, and naturally this stone learning soil was also relieved of embarrassment in laughter. By analogy, a fat man fell down and said, "If it wasn't supported by this body of meat, why didn't you break the bone?" If you change to a thin man, you can say, "If it weren't for light weight, this fall would be a meat pie!" " The author experienced such a thing: the wife of a short scholar laughed at her husband's short figure, and the scholar said with a smile, "I think it's better to be short. If I am not 1.57 meters, can I write now?" If it weren't for my short body and strength, could you win every battle? If I am not short, can you say that I am too short? " When the words were finished, the audience was amazed.

It can be seen that it is easy to be funny to fire at one of your own shortcomings when you laugh at yourself. But with this tolerance and courage, others will not let you laugh alone, but will usually accompany you to laugh a few times.

After the victory of the Anti-Japanese War, Zhang Daqian returned to his hometown in Sichuan from Shanghai. Before his departure, his friends gave a farewell dinner for him and invited Mei Lanfang and others to accompany him. At the beginning of the banquet, everyone asked Zhang Daqian to take the first seat. Zhang said: "Mr. Mei is a gentleman and should sit in the first seat. I am a villain and should accompany the last seat." Mei Lanfang and others don't understand its meaning. Zhang Daqian explained: "Isn't there a saying that' a gentleman speaks, a villain does it'?" Mr. Mei's singing is lip service, and my painting is hands-on. I should have Mr. Qing Mei sit first. " All the guests laughed and asked them to sit side by side in the first seat. Zhang Daqian laughed at himself as a villain, as if he were self-deprecating. However, "the meaning of drunkenness is not in wine", which not only shows Zhang Daqian's open-minded mind, but also creates a relaxed and harmonious conversation atmosphere.

someone wants to go abroad for further study, and his wife said half jokingly, "You may see other women when you go to that world of flowers!" He smiled and said, "Look at my face: I have a tiled face and round legs. I'm afraid I won't lift my eyes when I stand on the road!" A word amused his wife. Everyone is afraid to mention his own appearance defects, but this husband can accept his own congenital defects and doesn't care about exposing ugliness. This kind of self-mockery embodies the modality of sugar and wine and the wisdom of life. Isn't it better than solemnly swearing to your wife that you will never make love? At this time, he must become beautiful and lovely in the eyes of his wife.

In social interaction, when you are in an awkward position, self-mockery can often help you get out of it with dignity. At a reception held in a club, the waiter accidentally spilled beer on the shiny bald head of a guest while pouring wine. The waiter was so scared that the whole audience was dumbfounded. The guest smiled and said, "Brother, do you think this treatment will be effective?" The people present heard laughter, and the embarrassing situation was immediately broken. With the help of self-mockery, the guest not only showed his generosity, but also safeguarded his self-dignity and eliminated his sense of shame.

It can be seen that self-mockery in a timely and appropriate manner is a good accomplishment and a communicative skill full of face power. Laughing at yourself can create a relaxed and harmonious conversation atmosphere, make yourself live easily and freely, make people feel your cuteness and humanity, and sometimes maintain face more effectively and establish a new psychological balance.

2. Public figures need to laugh at themselves more

In interpersonal communication, people who are in high positions or celebrities tend to feel arrogant when dealing with people. Maybe it's because others are too nervous and stressed, or maybe these people haven't touched the trick of getting along with ordinary people. Generally speaking, making fun of yourself can relieve the pressure of others, and make ordinary people feel human, just like ordinary people, thus making people feel comfortable.

There are many such examples, and some crosstalk performers, comedians or program hosts often win the praise of the audience. There are many such people in life. Although a teacher is only over 4 years old, most of his hair is bald, revealing a "barren land". In the past, students often called him a bald teacher behind his back. Later, he simply explained to his classmates the reasons for baldness due to illness. Finally, he added such a self-deprecation: "It is good to lose all your hair, at least the light in the classroom will be much brighter when I attend class." The students gave a friendly laugh, and no one called him the bald teacher anymore.

Of course, self-mockery is not self-abuse or making a fool of yourself. We should be careful here.

Try to be personalized, vivid and learn to laugh at yourself appropriately, which can often make your speech interesting. The power of humor can identify with humorous things. Therefore, a truly great person will laugh at himself and encourage others to laugh with him. They give and get by sharing human nature with others, and you can do it!

President Lincoln also made fun of himself, especially his appearance. Once he opened his communication with others with such a short story:

"Sometimes I feel like an ugly person, and I met an old woman when I was walking in the forest. My mother said, "You are the ugliest person I have ever seen. I can't help it.' The ugly man replied. No, I don't think so!' The old woman said,' At least you can stay at home!

I was not good-looking when I was a child, said Woody Allen, a humorist, actor and director. I didn't have this face until I grew up.

Laughing at your looks or at things you do that are not very beautiful will make you more human. If you happen to be handsome or beautiful, try your other shortcomings. If you really don't have any shortcomings, make one up, and the shortcomings are usually not difficult to find. A coach of a college football team was asked about a star player. The coach said, "He is a senior and a very good player. But there is one drawback, that is, he is already a senior. "

If your characteristics, abilities or achievements may cause envy or even fear of others, then try to change these bad views. For example, you can say a quip: "No one in the world is perfect, and I am the best example." Laughing with others by making fun of yourself will help others like you, respect you and even admire you, because your humorous power proves that you are also human.

"I like you" leads to "I know you" and then "I believe you". So, your ultimate goal is trust. When others trust you, you can influence them and make them push themselves to develop their potential. This is also the ultimate goal of everyone when communicating with others and being positive.

In fact, whether you are a big shot or a small shot, self-mockery can make you popular. A great man can gain a good reputation by laughing at himself, but a small man can have fun and even become a comedian overnight.

3. People don't laugh at themselves and appear stingy

Openness is an important quality contained in humor.

Everything is optimistic, even if you are in prison, you can see hope, instead of being sad and sad all day, and your precious thinking mode is' if it's a big deal,' instead of haggling over every ounce and being too serious; Think about your own shortcomings and incompetence, and often laugh at yourself, instead of Lao Tzu being the best in the world and blindly boasting. This is open-minded.

Open-mindedness often means detachment, but it has not developed to nothingness, so it is still a positive factor and a manifestation of beautiful human nature.

(China people's soft humor) recorded such a thing: a film director went to live in rural Sichuan in the 196s. When it rained at noon, he saw a hut to hide from, so he rushed to break into the house and met an old couple making out in bed, so he hurried out, embarrassed and uncertain whether to stay or not. I don't want the old man to go out and invite him warmly. He smiled and explained, "There is nothing to do in rainy days." Sister also interjected: "It also saves you from being hungry."

(Selected Yaxiao) has the following story: A man boasted about his wealth to his guests: "My family has everything." He held out two fingers and said, "What is missing is only the sun and the moon in the sky." Before he finished speaking, the servant at home came out and said, "The kitchen has run out of firewood." The man stretched out his finger again and said, "There is no sun, moon and firewood."

The protagonists in the above two humors make fun of their own embarrassment and predicament, which makes them free from the embarrassing situation smartly, which shows their open-minded demeanor. Let's imagine, besides, what can they do?

standing outside yourself and appreciating your own trauma can produce happiness for a period of time. A man named Heywood Broth once invested his 4-year savings in the stock market and lost it all in the crisis of 1929. When he heard the news, his reaction was not to burst into tears or shout, but to say, "Come quickly, go quickly." It was lost overnight, and we can't help but say "go quickly", but is it really "come quickly"? No, we know that's his savings for 4 years. Obviously, he jumped out of his own disaster and mocked himself.

There is a story in (Qi Yan Lu): Liu Zhuo and his cousin Liu Xuan are both very knowledgeable and were arrested for breaking the law. The county officials didn't know that they were university experts, so they were all shackled. Liu Zhuo said: "Sitting in the cangue all day, you just can't go home." Liu Xuan said; "I also sit at home all day, but I don't see a woman."

Compared with Broth, their self-mockery is more interesting and skillful. The lonely and desolate life without family and wife does not seem to be serious. Like Broth, they laughed at their own tragedy and actually defeated it.

Being narrow-minded, calculating and stubborn is often the enemy of being open-minded and bold, so they are often satirized and sarcastic in their humor. Please see:

When Donald came home from a day's holiday in the capital, he always complained that the rent of the room he stayed in that night was as high as six pounds. His friend said, "it's nothing. I believe it's quite pleasant for you to visit there." Donald said, "Where! I haven't seen anything good! Do you think I will pay so much rent without making full use of the room? "

Donald's gains and losses are obvious at a glance. This is quite a bit like China writer Gao Xiaosheng's Chen Kesheng, who fainted in the city and was sent to a high-class hotel. At the checkout, the price was so high that he was surprised. He immediately went back to his room, sat down on Simmons and the sofa and jumped a few times to make full use of the room. Both Chen Kesheng and Donald have become the objects of ridicule by the author, which shows the importance of being open-minded.

finally, it is important to point out that self-mockery should be detached, not bitter and humiliating.

most scholars believe that laughing at one's own shortcomings and stupidity is the highest level of humor. However, the emotions that accompany this ridicule are different. If we bitterly laugh at ourselves and think that we have made a stupid mistake and deserve to be punished, then we will only feel humiliated. Because the latent consciousness behind this attitude is to believe that we should be better than the reality, and such an attitude towards life is the obstacle to our detachment. If we are full of love to laugh at ourselves, we can achieve some kind of amiable detachment. Because we think we are stupid, but we don't care about our own shadows.

4. It's safest to scold yourself

When you want to tell a joke, tell a short story, or make a quip or an anecdote, the safest target is yourself. If you are laughing at yourself, who will be unhappy?

There is an unwritten law that says that people who can laugh at themselves have the right to play jokes on others. Sir Churchill often used humor to relieve the pressure of war. Once a political colleague was quipped: "He is a humble man, and he has many things that make him humble."

People in political circles should be psychologically prepared to be attacked at any time. However, for ordinary people, in daily life, if "he" in Churchill's quip is changed to "I", it will be more powerful. Whenever you want to criticize, complain or propose construction, the "I" view is the most ideal.

By setting yourself up as the target of humor, you can convey information and express your opinions without attacking others. For example, "a conceited person has a low appetite and is more interested in himself than I am."

"I'm not old, I'm just in my prime. It's just that it took me more and more time than others to reach my prime. "

"People like me are friends you can rely on. Always by your side-when I need you. "

Self-mockery is widely used and safe. Here are a few examples:

① In an impromptu speech, it is a sign of high wisdom and education if the speaker can laugh at himself and distort himself in a timely and appropriate way. The speaker can gain humor, "lubricate" the relationship between the speaker and the audience and increase the interest of the speech.

On February 9, 193, Cai Yuanpei's 7th birthday, people from all walks of life in Shanghai hosted a banquet in honor of him at the International Hotel. When he thanked him, he said humorously and freely, "When you come to celebrate my birthday, you always ask me to do something for a few more years. When I lived to 7, I felt that I had done something wrong in the past 69 years. If I want to live for a few more years, I just want to do something wrong for a few more years. " Hearing this, the guests burst into laughter, and the whole banquet was full of laughter. Imagine that if he put on a serious face and made a serious thank-you speech, he would not have created such a relaxed and pleasant atmosphere. However, when using the "lubricant" of self-mockery, we should pay attention to the scene and situation, and it is not appropriate to use this "liquid" that makes people laugh in serious occasions or sad atmosphere.

③ Making fun of yourself frankly can relieve the tension.

When a movie or TV show shows a blind date, often one of them is about to speak, and the other is about to speak, which makes them very embarrassed, so they have to swallow back what they were about to say, and after a pause, they both speak at the same time ... This embarrassing situation occurs repeatedly. To a third party, this is a comedy, but it is a rather bitter experience for the parties.

I have witnessed this embarrassing scene.