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How to establish a good interpersonal relationship
Methods of establishing interpersonal relationships 1. Positive psychological suggestion
It is not difficult to find in life that some people seem to have a kind of magic, and people around them are happy to gather around them. Such people can often meet many people in a short time. Psychological research shows that most of these people have positive self-awareness: I am a popular person and I like to associate with people. ? This mentality will make him walk towards the crowd in an open way. They are calm and rarely have preconceived psychological defense, so their behavior is very relaxed and free. In front of such people, few people will be nervous or uncomfortable, and even some people with strong defensive psychology will be infected and become relaxed and open. Young people often seek a sense of relaxation after intense training, work and study, and those who can satisfy this desire will naturally be more attractive.
2. Proactive and enthusiastic about others.
Passion? This is one of the most touching and attractive qualities. A person full of human feelings can easily let his benign emotions infect others. First, make yourself happy. A smiling person is easily accepted by others, just like things in life? As far as sitting is concerned, it is best to stand up and walk. ? To build a harmonious interpersonal relationship, we should not just wait for others, but approach others actively.
3. treat everyone as an important person
Self-esteem can be maintained and self-worth recognized, which is the strongest psychological desire of people. Accordingly, in communication, we should pay attention to:
Friends often have arguments. Discussing problems is beneficial, but trying to change the other side is often counterproductive. Because it is difficult for both sides to have a simple argument on a certain issue, they often infiltrate feelings of defending self-dignity. This kind of emotion will make both sides regard the outcome of the argument rather than solving the problem as the most important, so that many arguments often turn into personal attacks in the end.
Interpersonal skills 1, praise others' "proud little work"
Everyone, including those with low status and strong sense of inferiority, has something to be proud of. These "bright spots" that fascinate children may be small, so small that only he knows it clearly, and even he has not found it himself. These "proud works" may be, for example, good at making a delicious sweet and sour fish, good at folding various paper planes, and having a good study of folk stories and proverbs. If you praise these small advantages, of course they will be happy. You know, from the perspective of gaining popularity, it is more effective to praise small advantages than to praise the advantages that everyone knows.
Xin Chen took the car driven by Master Liu for the first time. At that time, it was the rush hour, and the road was full of traffic, but Master Liu drove steadily but not slowly. At this moment, Xin Chen said, "Master Liu, it is not easy for you to drive so fast under such circumstances. What a way! " Unexpectedly, this heartfelt compliment made Master Liu very happy. Because he really has superb driving skills, especially his own originality in driving on busy roads, no one has ever praised him so much in his car in Xin Chen before. It has been 10 years since this happened. Master Liu still remembers the scene at that time, and often praises Xin Chen's vision.
Small things can make a big story. Dig and praise other people's "small works" with your heart. Although small, it is actually a great communication skill, and not many people have mastered it. With this set of kung fu, you can build a popular building on the flat ground.
2. Remember other people's "casual words"
Everyone's words are not the golden rule of every sentence, nor do they hit the floor. Some words have been said, and before long, the speaker will forget or pay no attention. This kind of casual talk has a lot to do with it. If you mention what he said before at an appropriate time, such as "what did you say? I still remember. " The other person will be very happy because of your concern, and think that you are a careful person, a person who can make great achievements, and a person who cares about others. It will be better if you not only remember other people's random words, but also act according to their random words.
One day, Xiao Zhang happily sent a big bag of delicious pickled Toona sinensis to Lao Yin. When sending it, Xiao Zhang said, "I just came back from my hometown and brought you the hometown specialty I promised to send you before." After listening to what Xiao Zhang said, Lao Yin suddenly remembered that when they were drinking together six months ago, Xiao Zhang once said, "The pickled Toona sinensis, a specialty of our hometown, is delicious." Lao Yin joked, "In this case, give me a pack when you go back to your hometown to visit relatives!" In fact, it was just a joke of his, and he forgot it when he finished. Now, Xiao Zhang sent the pickled Toona sinensis seriously, and Lao Yin was extremely moved, and the psychological distance between them was greatly shortened.
"Waste gold mine" can also extract bright gold! Pay attention to and remember what others say casually. In fact, it is a pile of "gold ore". If mined properly, "popularity money" will make you extremely rich. Although others' casual words are subtle, they are promising.
3. Do something small for others.
The advertisement of a German bank is famous all over the world. It says: You live your life, and we will handle the details for you. What are the details? It is often a trivial matter in people's accidents. It is said that the credibility of this bank has been greatly improved after the advertisement was released. In an organization, this is not the case. For people, people who pay special attention to details and can do unexpected things in time will be particularly reassuring. Can they be trusted? Doing something unexpected to others is an important way to enrich your image.
When Song Yang was just elected as the mayor of a city, he made a wonderful inaugural speech at the People's Congress, which caused bursts of applause. An NPC representative went to congratulate him. Sean Song said, "Yes, everyone applauded 18 times." The representative immediately checked the minutes of the meeting. Indeed, the figures provided by Mayor Sean Song were very accurate. Obviously, during the speech, Sean Song carefully recorded the number of applause at the meeting. Because of this, delegates and well-informed citizens cast an admiring eye on the new mayor. People think that since such a shrewd mayor has noticed this little detail, what else is good for the city that will fall out of the mayor's sight? I believe that such a mayor will be able to put his bright eyes into the joy and pain of every citizen, and I believe that Sean Song will lead the general public to glory.
A philosopher once said: Any detail is of great significance. In this case, doing something unexpected by others is an important measure to create your own image carefully. People will marvel and admire you for this.
4. Pay attention to other people's "subtle changes"
No one is unwilling to accept the care of others, and no one will have an aversion to people who care about themselves. Therefore, in order to win praise, you need to properly express your concern for others. If you find subtle changes in your partner's dress and appearance, you'd better point them out immediately. If the other person has a new tie, you say, "This tie is worn for the first time. Where did you buy it? " He will happily accept your concern and have a good impression on you. Especially women, pay special attention to their own clothes. Once someone notices the change in her dress, she will feel heartfelt joy, and then the distance between you will be shortened. nature
The girl Xiao Fang is very intoxicated with her boyfriend Pang Hai. To her particular satisfaction, Pang Hai has an eye for small things. For example, when she comes out of the hairdressing salon and has a new hairstyle, Pang Hai will appreciate it with great interest; Didn't sleep well last night, Pang Hai will see the tiredness on her face today and take care of it; Xiao Fang pinned a small ornament on his clothes, and Pang Hai will definitely ask about it. Because PangHaidu is watching her change, Xiao Fang feels very satisfied. Pang Hai's articles in a small place are far more effective than money.
Not only between men and women, any two people can immediately find the small changes of each other without prompting and tell each other sincerely. In this case, their feelings must be very harmonious. Therefore, people must not be careless about their contacts, but should pay attention to each other's trivial matters everywhere.
5, modify their "communication details"
When talking with people, you might as well raise your eyebrows when you are happy, open your eyes when you are serious, ask questions directly, and repeat them simply after listening. In this way, you will leave a good impression of being flexible and sociable. If you are well-proportioned, slow-moving, solemn and steady, you will give people the impression of being noble and calm. For other people's invitations, if you can take out your notebook and write down the appointment time and address carefully, then others will think you are a man of your word. If you change the appointment time from 8: 30 to 8: 35, others will think you are a busy and capable person. These are communication details, because your touch-up will add luster to your communication image. Don't be careless about trifles. This is probably related to whether you succeed or not and whether you avoid failure.
There is a shop assistant who is very popular with customers and sells much more goods through her hands than other shop assistants. Why is this happening? It turns out that she pays special attention to embellishing communication details. For example, if someone wants to buy about one kilogram of chocolate, she always grabs about 0.9 kilograms of chocolate and puts it on the scale, and then adds it one by one until it reaches the scale. Unlike other salespeople, they weigh more than a kilo first and then take it out cruelly? Obviously, the behavior of this excellent shop assistant is pleasant. For another example, when the customer delivers the goods for her, she must say "thank you". Because it is dispensable for customers to help her get the goods, doing it is a kind of pay, so we should express our gratitude in time. She doesn't turn a blind eye to it like other salespeople. Therefore, she has achieved great success, not only with many bonuses, but also won the honorary title of model worker in her city.
Common sense of interpersonal communication 1. family
It is best to have more physical contact with relatives.
For example, parents, as children, hug or kiss from time to time will add more feelings. Of course, people who especially hate physical contact should forget it, which will be counterproductive. More people should still like close contact with close people.
Needless to say, your wife and children, every hug and kiss will increase your feelings. Children will like you more. Even the fight between you is a weapon to increase your feelings.
Brothers and sisters, girls can hold hands at any time, and boys can carry them.
2. Friends
Friends, of course, are intimate friends, and it is best to get along with each other.
Fighting between relatives and friends is a good way to increase friendship. Several good friends around us all started with mutual loss and quarreling. After the quarrel, they felt that it was right for their taste and hit it off, gradually getting better and better. Even if they quarrel about something, they will end each other. Don't be reserved and reserved, and don't pretend to be honest and serious, which will disgust your friends and upset the boat of friendship.
If you are just friends, shake hands, smile and keep your distance. Speak slowly, a man is calm and powerful, and should not die. Women are gentle and calm, and your thinking speed must be higher than your speaking speed.
3. Colleagues
Between colleagues and men, it is best to pat shoulders more (of course, it varies from person to person, and some people don't like being patted on the shoulder. If you have to shoot, you are asking for trouble)
The action of patting the shoulder can be regarded as support, agreement, encouragement, etc. Physical contact will increase trust. If a colleague asks you to talk about your work, during or after the process, you clap your shoulders to show encouragement or support and consent. , this will increase the goodwill.
Between men and women, stop shooting and try not to have contact. Especially boys should never take the initiative to have contact with girls. Girls can pat boys on the shoulder to express their thanks and so on.
Between women and girls, arm in arm is the best supporting action, such as going to eat or go shopping together, arm in arm, and intimacy comes up at once.
leader
When talking to the leader, you must look straight into your eyes and have a nodding and smiling expression. It is best to take a pen and paper and take notes or notes at any time.
Most leaders who ask for you must have arranged work or instructions. Look directly at the leader, this is respect for him. Nodding and smiling shows that he understands what he said. Recording with paper and pencil means that you have recorded your next work instructions, and you can start your work in an orderly way at any time.
Five strangers
Keep a safe distance when talking with strangers.
People you don't know must keep their distance, speak concisely, and keep your mouth shut after expressing your views. Then listen to each other quietly. Look directly at each other and look away from time to time.
If it's the first time you meet someone who will contact you many times in the future, it's best to increase physical contact. A buddy of mine brought his girlfriend to see me, during which I chatted with him. His girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. When they got up, they put their arms on in an instant, which immediately increased their familiarity and intimacy. When they came back from shopping, they were completely familiar with it.
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