rich joke

1. As a 1 older young man, my parents broke their hearts for my marriage. 1 day, I told my dad that I found a girlfriend, from the northeast! Dad took a cigarette and said meaningfully, "Son, as long as you find it, don't say it's from the northeast, even if it's from Dongguan, we all agree!" " "

2. My buddy and his wife had a flash marriage, and they got divorced just after their honeymoon, which made a terrible noise. I said, "As for divorce, what's the big deal?" Buddy: "She hid in the past!" I said, "Huh? Have you ever been divorced before? " Buddy: "It's worse than this! She won the prize in Taekwondo in the province! "

A very beautiful beauty, with a bag in her left hand and a drink in her right, walked into the examination room. A male invigilator asked, are you here for shopping or for the exam? The beauty said weakly, I'm here to invigilate, okay?

I used to think that I was poor for three generations, which means I won't be poor after three generations. When I grow up, I know that the third generation is too poor to even marry a daughter-in-law, so there will be no fourth generation.

5. What would you do if there were zombies? I'll get the camera. Why? B: To be honest, after watching so many zombie movies, relatively few zombies pounce on photographers.

6. Someone asked me why I can't accept fat girls, but I can accept my own fat girls. In this regard, I just want to say: fattening my girlfriend is a full sense of accomplishment. The important thing is not to be afraid that she will run away.

7. The weather is getting colder and colder, and the mood is getting worse. After all these years, it's no use eating and drinking Lazar to raise this body fat. It feels like raising a group of baiwenhang, and my heart is cool!

8.a: If you want to hit someone now, who do you want to hit most? B: You tried to beat me up last month. Why did I spend more than last month? Let me return it this month. You will feel the same way next month.

9. Once the beauty queen confessed to me, I turned her down and gave her a photo. After reading it, she said, your girlfriend is really beautiful. Then I gave up. Hum, really, you are not as beautiful as me in women's clothes, and you want to be my girlfriend?

10. I became a Buddha before this double 10 and achieved nothing. The wallet is empty, the balance of various payment software is empty, the bank card is empty, and even the stomach is empty. So, you laity, if you ask me to take part in more than five activities, don't bother me!

1 1. female: now the technology is really developed, and everyone has the function of blink payment. M: That function doesn't work for you. W: Why is it useless? M: Have you ever paid for blinking?

12. "I took the subway to work in the morning and all the bread I bought was squashed." "It's nothing, my situation is much more serious." "Why, is your bread like this?" "Not bread, I want to fart, but I just burp!"

13. In the morning, a five-or six-year-old girl hugged my thigh and cried and said, Uncle, marry me! I was in a mess when I suddenly heard a voice behind me saying, even if you get married, you have to go to school today!

14. Once I saw my mother boasting that dogs were "awesome", I couldn't help saying, "This is awesome, I envy dogs". As a result, every time I come out from the toilet, the whole family applauds me!

15. "Say something heavy, such as your weight!" After a moment's silence, my sister replied, "This is too heavy. Say something superficial, such as your IQ!" " "

16. While waiting in line to buy tickets, suddenly an aunt rushed to cut in line. After buying the ticket, she said, don't be like me, don't be like me, my quality is low!

17. I sincerely advise you not to eat genetically modified food. My child's paternity test gene does not match mine, because the child has changed his gene by eating genetically modified food. My wife and my next-door neighbor told me!

18. The tragedy of being single is that a person accidentally gets hot and sour powder in his eyes, but he is afraid to go away and wash it. He was afraid that the waiter would close the table, so he had to eat it with tears in his eyes.

19. "Boom!" A loud noise startled the Tang Priest, raised his eyes and pointed to the gravel road under the mountain road: "Wukong, your mother gave birth to a second child."

20. It was late at night, and the child began to cry while sleeping. Father decided to sing a lullaby to coax him. As a result, just after singing a few words, the next door protested: let the children cry!

2 1. Girlfriend's rabbit died. I was in the supermarket. My girlfriend called and cried and said, "Don't buy cabbage tonight, buy some star anise."