The host told a joke and died laughing.

Interview record of kindergarten

Question 1: What will fish do if there is no water in the sea one day?

Child A: The fish went to the river. (Thinking for a moment, continuing) Oh, no, what about whales? It's too big to get in. How thoughtful! )

Child b: change the stone. (The fish is vomiting blood ...)

Question 3: What is a child's face for?

Child A: It's for mom.

Child B: It's for sticker heads. Is your face a billboard? )

Question 5: What's the use of children's hair?

Little girl A: It's used to comb my hair.

Boy B: Then you can't braid your hair. What's the use?

Child b: it's used to shave the hair of the barber shop. (Precious dedication)

Question 2: How can we make fat people lose weight immediately?

Child A: Eat diet cookies. (still smart)

Question 3: How can we make thin people fat immediately?

Child A: Drink milk. (Milk is not pig feed)

Question 1: What animal has two feet and will wake you up when the sun rises in the morning?

Child b: mom.

Child A: Look at the hair. Girls with long hair and boys with short hair. (A girl with short hair is crying next to her ...)

Child B: Peeping at him (her) to pee, boys standing, girls squatting. (This era is lewd ...)

Child C: Look at what socks he (she) is wearing. The red one is a girl and the blue one is a boy. (so innocent ...)

Child D: Look at its eyes. (so erratic ...)

Question 4: What happens if a stone is thrown into a fish pond?

Child A: Water will turn into waves. (……)

Child B: The fish will come up. The fishermen are very happy ...

Child C: A fine of five yuan. (Khan ...)

Question 3: Why does the aunt who gives medicine in the hospital wear a mask?

Child A: Because the dean is afraid that they will steal food. (Is the medicine delicious? )

Immediately, a child scrambled to say: Are those uncles with scalpels and masks afraid of their meals? (dizzy ...)

Child B: I'm afraid of drooling, because I have to pay attention to hygiene. Wearing a mask is to prevent saliva from flowing down ...

1 me: I want a vegetable bag and a meat bag.

Aunt: What do you want?

Me: a vegetable bag, a meat bag!

Aunt: Two vegetable bags?

Me: a vegetable bag, a meat bag! ! !

Aunt: Two meat buns?

Me: a vegetable bag, a meat bag! ! ! ! !

Aunt: Or two vegetable bags?

Me: OK, just two vegetable bags. ...

Take a bite back ... two meat buns ... I fainted on the spot. ...

3. Me: Auntie, why did you hit me fifty cents more?

Aunt: What? Then you put the card on it.

I was naive and kind, and put my campus card on it. ...

Aunt was cruel and hit me 50 cents again! ! ! ! !

1. Ghost: God, next time I want to be as white as an angel with wings, but I still want to suck blood.

God: Then reincarnate as a nurse.

Ants and elephants died soon after they got married. While burying the elephant, the ant wept bitterly: "Dear, why did you leave so early?" I will bury you if I don't do anything else in my life! " "

Your boy has a crush on a girl, so you have the courage to ask her what kind of boy she likes.

"Like-minded" girls answered, and even asked several times, it was the same answer.

The boy was very discouraged and said, "Can you have a flat head?" .

One day, I was out of breath to catch the last bus and shouted: Master! Master, wait for me ~

Suddenly a passenger poked his head out of the window and said to me slowly, Wukong, stop chasing.

6. One day I had a physical examination, and one of the questions was to guess the name of a bird by looking at its legs. A student really couldn't understand it, so he tore up the paper in a rage and was ready to leave the examination room. The invigilator was very angry and asked him, "What class are you in? What's your name? " A student lifted his trousers and said, "Guess, guess."

9. A person saw a pile of things on the road, squatted down and smelled it, said it might be poop, touched it with his hand and licked it in his mouth. It was really poop, but fortunately he didn't step on it! ~

10. The doctor asked the patient how the fracture happened. A: I feel sand in my shoes, so I shake my shoes with a telephone pole. I shook and shook ... a man thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a wooden stick and gave me two.

1 1. A professor is giving a lecture on the spot: "Don't be afraid of being dirty in scientific research. . . "Then he squatted down, poked the cow dung on the ground with his finger, and then put his finger in his mouth and licked it clean. A classmate quickly said, "I'm not afraid of being dirty." . . "Then I poked the cow dung on the ground with my finger and licked it in my mouth. Professor: "Besides, I should be good at observation. I just poked dung with my middle finger, but I licked my index finger. . . "

12. In a public toilet, Mr. A was constipated and couldn't pull it out for a long time. Then another man, Mr. B, rushed in, just squatted down and pulled happily. After listening, Mr. A said, "Dude, I really envy you. You are so happy." Mr. B said, "What is there to envy? I haven't taken off my pants yet ... "

13. A gentleman was practicing riding a bike when a pedestrian came up to him. A gentleman panicked and shouted, "Stop! Stop! " The pedestrians stopped in a daze. But a gentleman rode so badly that he knocked down a pedestrian. Pedestrians got up and got angry: "You told me to stop! You have a good aim, don't you! "

15. There was an accident on the expressway-the tortoise trampled the cow to death. The police are investigating the cause of the accident and say, snail: How did the tortoise hit you? The lying cow in plaster recalled sadly: I don't remember, he was too fast!

17. My colleague's daughter is a little beauty embryo. When she comes back from kindergarten, her mother often asks her, "Beauty, did anyone call you that today?" The little girl sighed: "I guess they see me too much, so they think I'm not beautiful."

18. A couple gave birth to a little boy after contraceptive failure. When the baby was born, he clenched his fist and kept laughing. The nurse broke his fist and found birth control pills in it. Then the little boy said, "It's not that easy for you two to kill me, hahahaha ... 19. Two people went to the mountain to play, and one was not careful. I only heard the person who fell answer "I don't know, I'm still falling ~ ~ ~".