What are the top ten most disgusting jokes?

1, one night, a soldier got up to take a shit at night, and there was no light in our toilet. He had to go to the toilet in the dark. When he was halfway through the solution, he found someone touching his ass, which scared him to run to the security sergeant without wearing pants and shouted, "An Guan! An Guan! Someone touched my ass in the toilet! "

An Guan: Is there such a thing? ! Don't tell anyone, I'll take care of it. Go back to sleep first! "The next day, the security officer told the attendant about it. The squad leaders were afraid of affecting the morale of the troops and decided to catch ghosts together next time.

I haven't been haunted for a week. ......

One night, another soldier went to the toilet. When he squatted down, he felt someone touching his ass. This time, he shouted even louder. All the monitor got up to flush the toilet, some with sticks and some with brooms. There are seven or eight people around the door of the urinal, and the door is full of lights. Everyone wants to see what's inside. Just then, one monitor opened the door and the other monitors looked in. All the squad leaders were dumbfounded, stunned for about three or four seconds, only to hear the squad leader say, "XXX is happy!" ! What the hell? Touch your ass! It's all shit! ! ! "2. A rich man is looking for a servant, and the topic of the interview is going to the toilet.

The first few came out without washing their hands.

So the rich sent them away.

Only one person washed his hands, so the rich man kept him.

But one day, the rich man found that he didn't wash his hands when he came out. The rich man asked him why.

The servant replied, "I brought toilet paper today …" 3. A couple was caught by a savage and wanted to eat them. Through intercession, the barbarian decided to let them eat each other's shit and let them go. In order to survive, the couple have to eat shit from each other. On the way back, the woman began to cry. The man asked her why she was crying, and the woman said, "You don't love me." The man said, "What's up?"

The woman said, "If you love me, you won't play like this!" " 4. A French explorer lost his way in the desert and was dying; Suddenly I saw a fairy coming slowly. The explorer shouted at once, "Fairy, help me!" ! I haven't drunk water for three days! "The fairy thought for a moment, frowned, then withdrew, and soon brought a cup of cranberries to the explorer. After drinking, the explorer said, "I want another drink." The fairy sighed and said, "No, not until next month. "5. A man took his friend to visit his grandmother. While he was talking to his grandmother, his friends began to eat peanuts on the coffee table and ate them all. When they left, his friend said to her grandmother, thank you for the peanuts, and her grandmother replied, Oh! Hmm! Alas! Because all my teeth have fallen out, I can only suck out the chocolate. Old, cough ... 6. On this day, the hotel owner is patrolling the hall. A beggar came forward and said, "can the boss give me a toothpick?" " "

The boss gave him one and sent it away.

After a while, another beggar came and asked for a toothpick.

The boss thought, why do beggars want toothpicks instead of rice now? I gave him one and sent it away.

Not too old, here comes another beggar.

The boss said to him, "Are you here to get a toothpick, too?"

The beggar said, "Someone threw up and I came late. The two beggars in front of me ate everything I could, and now there is only soup left. " Can you give me a straw? "

7. Some people like the dish "Spicy vermicelli pot" very much.

Once, he went to a restaurant and ordered this dish again. But the waiter told him that the dish was sold out.

"Is it really sold out?" He asked in disappointment.

"Sir, really sold out. You see, the last one was sold to the gentleman at that table. " The waiter replied.

According to the waiter's instructions, the man saw a very decent gentleman sitting next to him. The gentleman's food has been eaten almost, but the "spicy vermicelli pot" is still full.

The man thought that a gentleman had wasted delicious food, so he went up to the gentleman and pointed to the "spicy vermicelli pot" and politely asked, "Do you want more, sir?"

The gentleman shook his head gracefully.

So the man immediately sat down, picked up the spoon and wolfed it down.

After a while, he swallowed half. Suddenly, he found a little mouse lying at the bottom of the casserole with all its hair. In a fit of nausea, the man vomited all the fans he had eaten back into the casserole.

When he had a stomachache there, the gentleman looked at him sympathetically and said, "It's disgusting, isn't it?" I'm like this ... "

8. Poor monkey Nini went to the zoo one day to feed the monkeys ... threw peanuts to the monkeys ... but one monkey always put peanuts in his ass first ... and then took them out ... Nini felt sick and ran to ask the administrator ... why did the monkey behave so strangely? ... the administrator explained: because someone threw him a big peach last year ... as a result, the seeds of that big peach could not be discharged from his ass smoothly.

"What do you want?"

"I want to buy dog food."

"We have a rule that you must prove that you have a dog."

"Where is such a rule?"

"This is the case with goods on sale."

The man has been grinding with the salesman for a long time, but the salesman still refuses to sell it to him. No way, the man had to go home and bring the dog before buying dog food.

A few days later, the man went to this store to buy cat food.

"Give me two boxes of cat food."

"We have a rule that you must prove that you have a cat."

It was the same shop assistant, and the man dawdled with her for a long time. As a result, he still has to go home and take the cat to buy cat food.

A few days later, the man came to the shop with a big cardboard box with a hole and found the salesman.

"What do you want?"

"Just put your hand in and you'll know."

The salesman put his hand in: "What is it? Very sticky. "

"I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper." 10, a brother is constipated and can't be comfortable in the toilet for a long time. Just as he was going all out, he watched a buddy rush into the toilet like the wind and enter the next position. Hardly had he entered when there was a real storm. The brother said enviously to the elder brother: The elder brother envies you very much.

The buddy said: I envy you to death. I haven't taken off my pants yet ~ ~ 1 1. When I got up in the morning, my brother saw a bottle on the table with "cereal" in it, so he ate it for breakfast. At this time, my brother came back from morning exercise, washed and combed, sat at the table for pedicure, and suddenly asked my brother, have you seen the bottle I put on the table, and where is the foot I saved?

12. Eat some warm Chinese New Year. Two poor beggars haven't eaten all day. At midnight, they were cold and hungry. The older one said, "Brother, this is not good. I'm sure I can't arrive on time. Let's go out and find something to eat. " Two people came to the door of a restaurant, just as a group of people came out drunk, one man threw up in the street with a "wow" and two beggars scrambled to eat. Just after eating, the little one said to another person, "Big Brother, you just ate a fly." The older one spat out what he had just eaten with a "wow". Just as he spat, his brother quickly opened his mouth and drank it all at once, without spoiling it. The older man asked, "What are you doing?" The man replied, "Brother, I have a bad stomach. I need something hot."