Ask for a lot of funny jokes

1, the driver sent the leader to the literary evening, and the leader entered. The driver was stopped by the security guard. The driver said: I am a system with the leader, and the security guard said: * * * is also a system with the egg. If * * enters, can eggs enter? 2. A female kindergarten teacher led the students to swim and accidentally exposed a pubic hair. A student asked, Teacher, what is that? The female teacher pulled it out cruelly and said, thread. 3. One day, a drunk took a taxi home, reached out and stopped a patrol car 1 10, shouting: Even if you 1 10 km, you don't need to write so big! ! ! 4. The rooster is on a business trip for a month. When he came back, he heard that quail was getting old. The rooster became suspicious. Two days later, the hen gave birth to a quail egg, and the rooster was furious. The hen quickly explained, damn, it's premature! On the wedding night, the groom touched the bride's ass and asked, "What is this?" After a while, the bride touched the groom's ass and asked, "What is this?" The groom replied, "It's also a joke." Then the groom said, "Two different things are called the same name. Let's discuss it. " Then I started having sex. The bride was happy, so she touched the egg under the groom and asked, "What is this?" The groom replied, "It's a joke." 6. The little girl always shows off her new toys to the little boy. The little boy had no choice but to take off his pants and say, "You'll never have this!" " The girl also took off her pants and said, my mother said that as long as you have this, you can have as many things as you want! 7. An elephant asked the camel, "Why do your breasts grow on your back?" The camel said,' Stay away, I don't talk to things that grow on my face! 8. When the snake and the elephant met on the wooden bridge, no one wanted to give way, so they quarreled. The snake was furious and shouted, get out. Elephants are disdainful and stronger than you, and JB has a face ... 9. One day, the topic of the school exam was "Similarity between a bad-hearted radish and a pregnant woman". Only three students passed the exam. The answer is: it is all caused by bugs. There is only one perfect answer: it is too late to dial 10. The latest news The new marriage law clearly stipulates that women are not allowed to wear bras and underwear. Wearing a bra mainly violates the crime of keeping a mistress, and wearing underwear violates the crime of farting. Wearing underwear is a serious violation of the crime of possessing a gun! 1 1. The condom said to the sanitary napkin, "Sister, don't go to work. As soon as you go to work, I will have no business for seven days. " The sanitary napkin said to the condom, "Big Brother, you are satisfied. You fucking missed it. I haven't worked for ten fucking months! " "12, an adult man came to a hotel. He saw many beautiful cars in the garage, so he asked the boss why there were so many beautiful cars. The boss told him that I have a five-year-old son who does three things. If you can follow suit, you can choose a car here and drive away. If not, you can leave your car. Many people can't do it, so. . He thought that what a five-year-old could do could not be done, so he tried. The boss took him to a room where there was a beautiful naked beauty. The child used to kiss her, and he followed suit. Then the child touched the beauty all over her body, and he followed suit. The third thing, the child took out his little brother and bent it three times ... 13. A man was poor and had no money to buy underwear when he got married. His mother helped make one with a rice bag. On my wedding night, I took off my pants and my wife and son fainted on the spot. I saw it on the front of underwear: net weight 25 kg, made in Thailand. 14, a wealthy businessman and his daughter went out in a Cadillac and suddenly found a robber in the distance. Both father and daughter are very nervous. Suddenly, my daughter had an idea: "Dad, it's best to hide all the important jewels in her little hole to reduce the loss." Sure enough, when the robbers stopped them, they couldn't find the money and had to drive the Cadillac away. The rich businessman looked at Cadillac, which was drifting away, and could not help but sigh: "Alas! If only your mother were here. 15, a man and a woman had sex with condoms. The condom was too big and slipped into X, so they pulled it out with matches. Who knows, matches also fell in. To be on the safe side, they took another pill. Ten months later, I saw a bald kid crawling out of X with a raincoat and crutches, with medicine in his hand, and said, "It's not that easy to kill me! " ! !" 65438+ anal sex felt a little shameful, and explained in a low voice: I wanted to come over several times, but I was afraid. Do you know that bald guy is so cruel that he hangs two grenades on my door every time he comes? 17, the father took his son to take a bath, and the ground was slippery. When the son was about to slip, he grabbed his father's genitals and didn't fall. His father scolded him: * *! It's a good thing that you came with me. You have to come with your mother to kill you! 18, a fashionable woman walked lightly on the bus and saw an empty seat. She took out her napkin and wiped it for a while before sitting down. Unexpectedly, she farted. A man next to her smiled and said, "Shit, it's so clean, just blow it after wiping!" " 19, a handsome guy wants to buy condoms, but he doesn't know the size. The salesgirl had no choice but to check, touch and say to her companion, take a five-inch box, oh no, seven inches, wait a minute, nine inches! Oh, my God, come on, get some toilet paper. 20. See which bank abbreviation is the best. China Construction Bank CBC (deposit or not), Bank of China BC (deposit or not), Agricultural Bank ABC (ah, deposit or not), Industrial and Commercial Bank of China (deposit or not), Minsheng Bank CMSB * *! 22. The lion and the bear shit beside the fruit tree respectively. A month later, the tree where the lion poops is thicker than the tree where the bear poops, so the bear said: The lion poops better than the bear poops! 23. Ni Ping visited Mengcheng and put on a bullwhip, which was delicious. What is that? Feng Gong said, there are cows! The cow said, Feng Gong also has it! Ni Ping asked: Do I have it on me? Both of them replied: sometimes. Sometimes you don't. . 24. The policewoman dormitory is on fire. A policewoman was naked. Later, she found that she didn't wear underwear. She asked the police dog to sniff between her legs one by one, and motioned the police dog to go to the room to grab her underwear. Soon, police dogs rushed out of the fire with batons in their mouths. 25. Fool calls the police: There is a female corpse in the Woods. Where is the injury? Blunt trauma to the chest. There are two big bags. However, the fatal wound turned over with a cut between my legs. Q: How long have you been dead? Hi! It's hard to say it's all wool. 26. The reporter interviewed Panda: Do you have any wishes in your life? Panda said: one is to have a look at Chinese medicine to cure my dark circles. The other is that I (with tears) want to take a color photo! 27, the old maid has been unable to find an object, desperate to jump off a building to commit suicide, happened to fall into a truck loaded with bananas, the old maid thought she was in heaven, closed her eyes and touched the car full of bananas, and said affectionately: Don't panic, one by one! 28. Kindergarten teacher Xiao Fang pointed to the blackboard: M, A, Y, D, B Pinyin tested the children, and the children said with the most standard pronunciation: "Touch -a- menstruation-De-Bo" 29. Women are afraid: no one wants to be a girl; Love loses its virginity and is dumped; There is no red husband at the first night; Husband's golden gun won't become warped; Husband engages in emotional appeal, and wild men don't wear condoms; Is cheating on her husband; Have a son like a leader.