Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Looking for a joke.

Looking for a joke.

Autumn rain VS deciduous flowers

"You can't see the rain and wet clothes, but you can't hear the idle flowers" is a poem written by Liu Changqing, a poet in the Tang Dynasty, in Farewell to Poetry Garden.

Someone once understood this poem as: 1, which is a beautiful artistic conception to celebrate spring. 2. Idle flowers and drizzle express unknown loneliness. Seeing and hearing doesn't mean doing nothing. This is a bleak way of life. This kind of artistic conception is no longer suitable for today's world ... write a composition according to your point of view. The topic is self-made and the genre is not limited. More than 800 words

Midsummer, night and late at night.

Jingshan is at the top.

There are people on the mountain, two people, a man and a woman.

These two men are the two most famous killers in Wulin today. The man's name is Qiuyu, and the woman's name is Ye. Jianghu people call it "drizzling flowers".

The poet Liu Changqing once described these two terrible killers as "rain and wet clothes are invisible, and idle flowers fall silent". Drizzle wet clothes, wet clothes are blood; Idle flowers fall to the ground, and heads fall to the ground. These two men killed without leaving a trace. If they want to kill you, you will be dead before you see their figures or hear their voices.

Qiuyu received a post three days ago, calling for killing Ye. After the job is done, he not only has three million and two thousand Mingbi, but also can be allowed to play the role of Cao Xueqin in the talent show A Dream of Red Mansions!

But killing Ye is much more difficult than killing Bill.

No one in the Jianghu knows Ye's martial arts origin, personality and temper, but everyone knows Ye's story.

Ye has a pair of charming big eyes. It is said that she used to stare at Zhao Wei and Gao Yuanyuan, but she was only seventeen years old that year.

Ye Huaxian's voice is as intoxicating as an oriole. Legend has it that Lin Chi-ling was numb and numb for a whole year after listening to her talk. Do you think this will be fatal?

Ye's flying skills are unique in Wulin. She walked through the snow without a trace and landed silently, claiming to surpass Wei Yixiao, the king of green-winged bats. She was seen stealing Liu Xiang's Olympic Pass on the highway last week. Liu Xiang chased 10,000 kilometers and was finally exhausted.

Most people were scared to buy diapers when they heard Ye's story, but Qiuyu didn't buy them.

Qiuyu is not an ordinary person.

He knows that killing people depends not only on technology, but also on character!

The drizzle in autumn is very calm. He is trimming his nails with a nail clipper. His fingers are slender and powerful.

He has to wait, waiting for the other person to lose his temper. There is no room for any mistakes when the masters contend. People who are impatient first will show their flaws.

Fatal defect!

So, Qiuyu didn't say anything, just quietly playing with nail clippers.

Unexpectedly, Ye went to rest, wearing lipstick and perfume leisurely.

Qiuyu had to strike first and say, "You know why I called you out."

Ye Huaxian said softly, "Can't we talk before we start?"

Qiuyu said, "I'm here to kill people, not to chat."

Ye Huaxian said, "Are you sure you want to kill me?"

Qiuyu said, "I never do anything I am not sure about."

Ye Huaxian said, "I want to remind you of one thing."

Qiuyu said, "You say."

Ye said, "Xiao Bai was born a killer. My little daughter is the first in the killer list, and you are only the second. Really can kill. "

Please, me? "

Qiuyu said, "I want to remind you of one more thing."

Ye said, "Go ahead."

Qiu Yu said: "As for the killer's strength, I am ahead of you, but Bai Xiaosheng's ranking adopts SMS voting system. There are too many' anthomaniac' people in China, so you can't get the first place."

Ye Huaxian's face changed and said, "I want to remind you that my fan group is called' pollen', not' anthomaniac'!"

Qiuyu said: "I want to remind you finally that all your' pollen' is anthomaniac. Also, we digress. "

Ye Huaxian said, "Aren't you afraid of trouble if we work so hard?"

Qiuyu said, "You don't have to be afraid of trouble anymore. There is only one kind of people in the world who are never afraid of trouble, dead people! " "

Ye Huaxian said, "So you have to force me to do it?"

Autumn rain didn't answer, so he didn't have to answer.

Autumn rain said: "Ming weapons!"

Ye Huaxian said, "I use a knife."

Autumn rain said, "you use a knife? Where is the knife? "

Ye Huaxian said, "I am the knife!"

Ye gave a sweet smile and suddenly took off her clothes, leaving only a lace bikini and black stockings.

Ye's face is breathtaking, and with such a figure, this dress is full of a primitive temptation.

Her eyes can talk, her smile can talk, her hands, her breasts, her legs ... her body can talk every minute.

She knows that as long as he is a man who is not blind, he will be fascinated by her now.

Qiuyu is a man, he is not blind.

But now he seems blind and completely indifferent.

He knows that a beautiful woman is a knife. When you are intoxicated, the knife will cut into your chest.

Qiuyu mused, "I just want to ask you one thing."

Ye Huaxian smiled and said, "Go."

Autumn rain said: "In summer, you are not afraid of mosquito bites if you wear so little?"

Ye Huaxian was silent for a long time. "You must think I just wore perfume, don't you?" I'm telling you, I'm wearing Liushen toilet water! "

Ye Huaxian added, "but this is no ordinary LiuShen. This is a specially refined potion. Colorless, odorless and nontoxic, but it will slowly spread in the air. People who smell it will be paralyzed and unable to move. "

The drizzle in autumn surprised me, and I suddenly felt numb and broke out in a cold sweat.

Ye Huaxian added, "You think I'm talking nonsense with you because I'm afraid. I think I took off my clothes to seduce you. In fact, it is to delay the time and let the potion spread around you. "

Qiuyu was quiet and said, "Aren't you afraid of powerful potions yourself?"

Ye Huaxian proudly said, "At first, the lipstick I wore was the antidote, so I can still move freely."

Ye Huaxian stared at the autumn rain and asked, "Do you still think you can kill me?"

Qiuyu said, "I can."

Ye Huaxian said, "Isn't it ridiculous that you can kill me if you can't move me?"

Qiuyu said, "That's funny, but you will definitely be killed by me."

Ye Huaxian said, "Why am I killed by you?"

Autumn rain suddenly asked: "Can flying knives kill people?"

Ye Huaxian said, "It seems that I can."

Autumn rain said, "Do I have hands?"

Ye Huaxian said, "Yes."

Qiuyu said, "Do I have a knife?"

Ye Huaxian said, "It seems that you only have nail clippers in your hand."

Autumn rain said, "That's enough."

Ye Huaxian said, "Is this enough?"

Qiuyu said, "If I had a hand and a knife, I could kill people."

Leaf said, "nail clippers can also kill people? That's ridiculous! "

Qiu Yu said, "Seventy-three people in the Jianghu used to think my nail clippers were ridiculous."

Ye Huaxian said, "What about now?"

Qiu Yu said: "Now everyone is dead, dead by this knife."

Ye Huaxian said, "Can your hands still move?"

Qiuyu said, "Do you want to try?"

The smile on Ye Xianhua's face gradually solidified. Suddenly, she came!

A trick of "fake nine-yin white bone claws" is almost equal to the canopy of the crown of the autumn rain. She practiced this trick for seven years, four months and 29 days, and she was completely confident that no one could resist it.

But this time she was wrong.

The knife flashed, and the "pirated Xiao Li flying knife" had been inserted into her throat.

She wouldn't believe it until she died. Nail clippers will kill her!

Idle flowers finally landed!

After three hours, the efficacy of the potion gradually faded, and the autumn rain finally moved.

Looking at Ye's body, Autumn Mao Mao Rain said, "Although you are dead, I have to tell you two things. First, I have been using nail clippers to trim my nails, in order to adjust the synchronization rate of my hands and knives.

It's the feeling. Second, the real purpose of killing you is not for money, nor for fame. "

As she spoke, Qiu Xiaoyu searched Liu Xiang's Olympic entry card from Ye's pocket.

Qiuyu said firmly: "I love Beijing and I want to watch the Olympics!" " "

Since then, no one has ever seen autumn rain.

It should be this. If you are satisfied, please choose me as the best answer.