Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Low-key is not inaction, but not showing off-2020 classics

Low-key is not inaction, but not showing off-2020 classics

Life is life, not imagination.

There is a kind of person who only does two things: you succeed and he is jealous of you; You failed and he laughed at you.

What you can let go is the past, but what you can't let go is the memory.

No matter where I am, I am only a turn away from you.

Most of the things you have been waiting for too long are not what you originally wanted, such as love.

People always deceive themselves, because it is easier than deceiving others.

Illiteracy and primary school graduates are bosses, middle school graduates are wage earners, college graduates are filling out job application forms, and doctoral graduates are washing dishes overseas!

Stay away from people who think you want his leadership; A talent who thinks he is famous in the world; A woman who thinks she can do anything; An overbearing official wife; A glib businessman; A "writer" without works; Someone who cheats at cards; An alcoholic woman ...

Have the ability to ride a BMW, no donkey and no horse.

Youth is allowed to be ignorant, and youth should be frivolous, but ignorance and frivolous all one's life is ignorance.

When you are upset, say three words to yourself: "Forget it" and tell yourself to work hard but don't be persistent; A "never mind" tells yourself that if you work hard, you will have no regrets; A song "It will pass" told me that the bright sunshine always comes after the storm.

If there is a next life, I must be your heart, because if I don't jump, you will die.

Miss, I'm sorry, this man is mine. Please take care of your thighs and sexual desire.

Eight kinds of people who will be eliminated by society 1) people who don't study after eight hours, 2) people who are slow to respond to new things, 3) people who rely solely on their personal abilities, 4) people who are psychologically fragile and easily injured, 5) people with single skills and no special skills, 6) people who are short-sighted, 7) people with low emotional intelligence, and 8) people with outdated concepts and knowledge.

Nowadays, children wash their hair not for cleanliness, but for hairstyle.

Now I understand, forget it, these two words contain a lot of disappointment.

I fell in love with my bed, but the alarm clock was jealous and always wanted to separate me from the bed.

Bees are busy all day and praised; Mosquitoes kept running, and everyone saw someone beating mosquitoes. It doesn't matter how busy you are, what matters is why you are busy.

What is a myth? Please listen to men express their love to you; What is a legend? Please listen to the man's promise to you; What is a dream? Listen to your own reaction when you hear the first two.

Money, how many people who love each other cannot be together; Money makes many people who don't want to love sleep together.

Winter vacation homework: You write for a month, and the teacher writes a reading. .

Inspirational quotations 1, don't expect everyone to understand you, because radish and cabbage have their own love. If you make a radish, naturally you can't make a green vegetable. The road is an incurable scar on the earth, so every step of life is dull pain. 3, online years are like flying knives, knives and knives are ruthless. Revolutionary health is the most important. Don't stay up late surfing the Internet. 4. Life is about being born and living.

Sometimes, we live very tired, not because life is too mean, but because we are too easily infected by the external atmosphere and influenced by other people's emotions. Walking in the crowd, we always feel that there are countless pairs of eyes sweeping our hearts and lungs, and there are many rumors, which eventually confuse our minds and gradually bind us in a mess we weave. In fact, you live for yourself, and not many people can take you to heart.

Men like obedient women, but when men like a woman, they will listen to her unconsciously.

If there is an afterlife, be a tree and stand in an eternal position without sadness. Half peacefully in the soil, half flying in the wind, half in the shade, half bathed in the sun, very silent and proud, never relying on or looking for it.

The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. Why do you study?

Loneliness is when no one is listening when you are talking, but you have nothing to say when someone is listening!

The most precious thing in the world is not what you will never get or have got, but what you have got and may lose at any time!

Love is a lamp, while friendship is a shadow. When the light goes out, you will find shadows everywhere. A friend is someone who can give you strength in the end.

In order to save water, so try to take a bath with your girlfriend;

Going to work is waking up; After work, it is the full moon in the west building; Once in a thousand years; Waiting for you on public holidays until my heart aches; Upgrade is when I wait for the flowers to wither; Jia Xin wants you to think in your dream; Good is a thousand reasons to be sad.

In fact, February 14 should be April Fool's Day, and everyone is cheating others, while April 1 4 should be Valentine's Day. How many people looking for marriage choose to express their love on that day?

Don't forget what you once had; Cherish what you can't get; Do not give up what belongs to you; What is lost is left to memory.

Connecting a series of Qing Dynasty dramas, such as Palace and Walking on Thin Ice, is a living film, Girls Chased in Yongzheng Those Years.

Not only are parents beautiful, but living beautifully is the real skill.

Learning to let go is beautiful, learning to give up is harvest ... letting go is a psychological choice; Letting go is a kind of spiritual learning; Letting go is a kind of life wisdom ... let go of pressure and get relaxed; Let go of troubles and get happiness; Let go of inferiority and gain self-confidence; Let go of laziness and gain enrichment; Let go of negativity and make progress; Let go of complaints and get comfortable; Let go of hesitation and be chic; Let go of narrowness and be free …

Some distances can be crossed, but they are not; Some things can only be gorgeous in memory, but they will break when touched in reality.

Keeping a low profile is not inaction, but not showing off.

The more experienced people are, the more they know how to keep a low profile; The more inexperienced people are, the more they run.

Sweet, fragrant, spicy, sour and bitter-but you just like coquettish.

Every couple was a fool before they fell in love, but they all became poets after being dumped.

I thought that as long as I worked hard, time and space were not distances. Now I understand that all this is just a puppet show that I tried to perform alone.

2020 Low-key qq Tan Daquan

1, people suffer because they pursue the wrong things.

2. How can a broken me help a broken you?

3. In the sunshine, a bright smiling face warms your heart.

I am nostalgic because I can't see you and the future.

If there is no separation, there will be no concern for growth.

6. What is lost is always second-hand.

7, no identity, you still have identity, because you have an ID card.

8. Those who are not afraid of debt collection are heroes, and those who are afraid of debt are really poor.

9. Sweet talk is sweet talk, no matter how nice it is.

10, my heart is so tired, I just want to die quietly.

1 1, I always have you in my heart, but the proportion has changed.

12, love is a luxury, and you are just my pastime.

13, it's interesting to be alive. To live is to die.

14, life is nothing more than smiling at others, just making others smile.

15, the most terrible word in the world is not separation, but distance.

16, for us now, even a greeting is extravagant.

17, squatting in a dimly lit corner. I didn't find shadows everywhere!

18, free and easy is just an excuse, let's hear it.

19, there is a tacit understanding. If you ignore me, I will ignore you.

20. Say it's for the sake of responsibility, but in fact you are shifting the responsibility to me.

2 1, say sorry to yourself, some people did it for themselves.

22, so persistent love you, out of love, or unwilling.

23. I want to love many people. But I'm not in it.

24. Your happiness is well known, and my mess has nowhere to hide.

25, always like this, remember too little, forget too much.

26. I began to learn to imagine and conceive a place with you and me.

27. I once remembered that the blank was so thorough.

28. The person I despise most is the person who despises others.

29. There is no end to happiness.

There are thousands of good men in the world, and it is a big deal to change them every day.

There is no lower limit to spoofing jokes, sister. Why doesn't your mobile phone display the weather in America?

Introduction: In physics class today, the teacher talked about optics and taught us what a transparent object is, but we couldn't find a transparent object. A classmate spoke: teacher, your clothes are transparent, and we all saw your sling. What did you say, this classmate? I will discuss life with you after class!

1, girlfriend A: Your husband is really a warm man. You are so happy! Girlfriend B: Yes, it's cold. He always warms my bed before I go to bed. He called last night and said there was something important at work. What must I do in the evening? Girlfriend A: Well, I really don't know. Girlfriend B: Then how do you know he is a warm man? Did he warm you up?

Chat with a colleague and ask him why he chose to come to our small company in the first place. This man looks unfathomable: I ran to several companies, and your dormitory has WIFI. . . . .

3. Play at my buddy's place, collect clothes with him and rent a house. You know, many people's clothes hang together. He can't tell which is his wife's underwear at once. I joked that the grass was green. He suddenly realized, yes, yes, yes! But then you all knew that he kept looking at me with strange eyes.

Xiaoming is playing in the park. He throws food into the pool from time to time to feed the goldfish. At this time, a middle-aged man came over and said to him earnestly, "Little friend, don't you think it's a waste to feed fish with such good bread?" Do you know how many children your age are starving in many countries in Africa? Wouldn't it be better if we gave them these breads? "Xiao Ming bowed his head after hearing this and was silent. After a while, he looked at the bread in his hand, looked up at the middle-aged man again and said awkwardly, "But uncle, ... Africa is so far away that I can't throw it." "

I was going to buy steamed bread today, but the old woman couldn't help it. No, she can't help calling me handsome. It turns out that I'm not as ugly as I thought. Think about it. She knows more people than our younger generation have ever met. What big scenes has she not seen? I believe that she is not perfunctory, but from the heart. Suddenly, I was full of confidence, decisively abandoned the steamed bread and bought a cake.

6. I woke up in the morning and saw the injury on my arm, only to know that I lost my memory after drinking last night … I drank fragments for the first time in my life. I don't remember it when I came out of the hotel. Later, I heard from my buddy that I had been asking for wine since I went to Ktv, so I took off my sister's underwear. I sang "People who love me and people I love" for five times in a row! None of this is in my memory! What a pity!

7. Tell me an anecdote about your first marriage. My husband and I talked for three years before we got married. In the first few days of marriage, I woke up at night and was very confused. I don't even know him. I just think there is a man lying next to me. What is wrong with me? Just: Ah ~ ~, who are you? I cried and cried to wake him up. I woke up when he sat up. I was laughed at by him for a long time.

8. While I was eating, a girl kept staring at me as if she were interested in me. Then I boldly went over and asked her number, and suddenly a man came in outside the door. The goods said: What do you want? At the moment when the goods asked me, I cleverly took out a 20 yuan bill from my pocket and threw it on the ground. I said weakly, handsome boy, you lost real money (chastity), and then I turned and left, Nima! So dangerous ...

9. I play games at the bedside, and my wife doesn't like it. She called me a big man, and I only knew how to play games. I kicked my head with my foot and said that my brain must have been kicked by a donkey ... and then I smiled, yes, it was really kicked by a donkey.

10, I saw five yuan on the bus today, and there were too many people who wanted to pick it up. I was embarrassed to answer it, so I called my mobile phone underground and picked it up by the way. I picked it up and found that the phone had a broken screen.

1 1. I go home from school and wait for the no.38 bus. After three cars, I just didn't get on. Here comes another car, thinking about whether it must get on this time or not. Several people saw the back door through the glass. I want to get on the bus through the back door, but I can't open it at the back. What should I do? I tactfully shouted at the window: "driver, someone is getting off at the back door!" " "The result-ha ha!

12, the landlord is a foodie. When I was a child, I secretly took five 100 bills that my father put in the cupboard in order to eat a pack of small plums for ten cents. Bullshit, fart and leave. I bought five packs, hehe. When I got home, I folded the change neatly, thinking that I would be missing fifty cents and would not be found. As a result, you know, my dad laughed until he couldn't fight. .

13, I lost it with my friends the other day, saying that I was single, and the more I talked, the higher I got. At this time, our monitor looked at us with bitterness and said that you two were fake bachelors and bullied me as a real dog. . . At this time, my friend explained excitedly, monitor, monitor, I am a real dog. Believe me, I am also a real dog. . .

14, I remember going to the toilet once in high school. It was before class, so there was no one inside. I just chose a seat. Hardly had I squatted down when I heard a girl talking on the phone. The content is as follows: I am so hungry, please bring me something to eat quickly, or I will starve to death. . . . . I am speechless when I am around. I can only say that you have a good appetite, sister.

15, my daughter-in-law finally called me, but I still have to pretend to be calm. "Husband, when will you come back?" "Why, miss, I'm on a business trip for so long? I don't look at you much at ordinary times ""because I suddenly find that I can't live without you ""Haha, now you know how good it is to have me by your side ""Well, mosquitoes always bite me because you are not here! " . .

16, at school, a classmate was bad at chemistry. Examinations are like reading gobbledygook. The invigilator found out where he was teasing and went over. Confiscated his little note. One * * * five, the teacher was surprised. He opened A B C D one by one and tried again. The teacher fainted on the spot.

17. When a newly married couple entered the bridal chamber, both sides admitted to each other that it was the first time. After making out, the groom got up and found some boiled water to drink. The bride asked, "Why do you men drink water every time you finish this?" Groom: "No way, get into the habit!" " "

18, my little girl is three years old and quite smart. Once I asked her if she drank pure milk. She came up to me, touched my chest and said, OK, Mom, let me drink it quickly! Damn it, all the milk is pure!

19, a nurse found a doctor and reported that her blood pressure was too high for several male patients. Other nurses went to recheck and found that their blood pressure was normal. She's confused. The doctor took a look at her and said in a heavy voice, please fasten your chest before taking the patient's blood pressure.

20. It's really troublesome to go to the toilet outside now. If you want to have a "large size" in a down-to-earth manner, you must control the "flow". Maybe you can make it everywhere, or make it everywhere!

2 1, my best friend came to my house to play with me last night, and then we were bored to watch it at home (midnight bell). We were so scared that we woke up our sleeping brother. When he was unhappy, he borrowed my mobile phone to make a phone call, secretly downloaded the ghost's voice for me, set it as a ringtone, and then secretly called me. Can you imagine the ghost's voice before falling asleep in the middle of the night? I was so scared that I cried and shouted. My parents rushed in and found it was a ringtone ... Don't stop me, but I'll kill him. You gave me such a big surprise on my birthday! !

22. Recently, a 2B person mentioned Sydney. I don't know why, but I like to take Sydney with me when I talk. Later, someone had an argument with me and said, "Go to hell!" My brain was beating, and I replied, "Before you die, buy me a catty of Sydney!" " ! "I walked away silently, leaving her alone in the wind.

23, lz male, once had a fight with a very good female friend during class, and then she said, "You can't catch me. When she was about to run, I caught her by reflex. Well, something's wrong. I accidentally ripped off the cover button behind her, and her woman blushed. Fortunately, when she left the bathroom, she quickly ran in and cleaned up. . . .

24. Tell me about a great female teacher in our high school. Once when we were in her class, we said that a junior high school student had just taken advantage of him and squeezed her hard. She went. The female teacher is 50 years old and still fat. As a teacher, it's really good to be a student. ?

25. In high school, there was a female teacher in our class who was going through menopause. She is particularly wordy all day. The first thing she said when she first came to our class in senior one was that all the boys offered their seats to me and didn't want to see you. How much she hates us boys. She didn't talk to the boys in our class for the next year. .

My dad called me tonight, and I asked my dad: Am I cute? My dad replied: What does love mean? Recently, many people say it's cute. I: It means good! My father: I think this is act young. Me: You'd better describe my mother! ! ! ! Or father! !

27. My girlfriend and I have been together for a long time, and we are very loving together. That day, a friend asked me how I got her. I told him that when she was at the same table, she drew a 38th parallel on the table, and all the lines were hers. Then I walked up to her ... and my friend sprayed water on my face.

28. A buddy was drunk, walking around with one foot on the road and one foot in the ditch. . Lz drove to pick him up. Seeing him, he stopped, opened the window and said, dude, you are drunk. Get in the car. . The elder brother replied in surprise: Really? Me: Really. A: Great! I think I suck. Lz is drunk, too. . .

29, lz baby face, graduated this year and applied for higher vocational education. I invigilated with a colleague today. I was sitting in an empty seat in the last row when suddenly a note flew over: Dude, help! Feelings treat me like a student. Do you think I can help?

30. In an investigation department of the university, our teacher had a whim, saying that we wouldn't take the exam, so we would draw lots and draw as many as possible, but two of them didn't win, and then one of them was drawn by a girl who usually worked hard. When she finished blushing and was about to cry, the teacher said, well, yours is the highest score, and the last class has passed. It's hard to meet such a funny teacher. . .

Editor's note: Today, the weather is small fish. As soon as a girl entered the door, she scolded the mobile phone for inaccurate weather forecast, indicating that it was raining, and the mobile phone also said it was sunny! Echoing and scolding colleagues in the office for half an hour. Finally, my sister shocked a person with a sentence: Wow, how can my mobile phone show the weather in Beijing! ..... I depend, sister, why doesn't your mobile phone show the weather in America?

Don't use anything except making sentences.

1, studying is not for parents, but for yourself.

Xiaoming studies well, because he doesn't play after class, but reviews the text carefully.

You are not timid, but not serious.

4. Falling is not a failure, but the beginning of success.

5. This is not drinking water, but foot washing water.

6. Everyone's self-confidence and self-confidence are not born, but acquired by their own efforts.

7. This competition depends not on luck, nor on buying off the referee, but on the real strength of the athletes.

8. This exam is not an ordinary quiz, but a graduation exam.

9. Frustration is not an unattainable mountain, but a driving force for our progress!

10, frustration is not a permanent failure, but a new starting point for struggle.

This pencil is not yours, but mine.

12, I ignored him, not because I hated him, but because I don't remember him!

13, this sentence is not that you can't do it, but that you are lazy and don't want to use your head.

14, see that fiery red disk? It's not the light, but the red sun rising at dawn.

15, it's not that mom wants to talk about you, but that you are so annoying.

16. This pear is not his, but mine.

17, Diaoyu Island is not Japanese, but China's.

18, the blue ball is not blue, but brownish red.

19, he was not found by his conscience, but was forced to do nothing.

I'm so sleepy, not because I didn't sleep last night, but because I slept less!

2 1, not west wind, but south wind.

I am not afraid to face it, but I am afraid to lose it.

23. It is not because you made a mistake that your superiors punished you, but because some of your actions destroyed some hidden rules.

24. Fame is not written in articles, but blown out by mouth.

25. This class is not history, but English!

There was no earthquake that year, but a drought.

27. I am not an eagle in the sky, nor a bird flying low around the house, but a migratory bird with the season.

28. Time is not heartless, but affectionate.

He is not our enemy, but our friend.

I'm so sleepy, not because I didn't sleep last night, but because I slept less! ! !

3 1. This dog is not mine, but his.

32. The world is neither perfect nor bad, but multifaceted.

33. Gasoline didn't go up, but went down.

34. They are not defending justice, but playing hegemony.

This man is not the president at all, but a speculator.

36. I am not a vast ocean, nor a low-lying ditch, but a drop of water in the vast ocean.

37. Extracurricular books are not forbidden to read, but should be read selectively.

Behind the dark clouds is not the sun, but the moon.

39. In order to protect the environment, low-carbon life is not for fun, but must be implemented.

40. I ignored him, not because I hated him, but because I didn't remember him! ! !

4 1. This pencil is not yours or his, but mine.

42. A bright future doesn't wait, nor does it fall from the sky, but is created by our hard hands.

It's not that he doesn't like playing with us, but that there are too many things waiting for him at home.

44. This topic is not done in this way, but in this way.

45. The sky is not blue, but gray.

This book is neither yours nor mine, but his.

He is not in the office, but at home.

48. You are not a white swan, but an ugly duckling.

49. It is not a mountain or a plain, but a hill.

I didn't do well in this exam, not because I didn't study hard, but because the exam was too difficult.

5 1, learning is not a superficial understanding or understanding, but an attitude to understand and verify, and even lead to new conclusions.

Your problem is not that I won't help you, but that I really won't.

53. Work is not a life, but a tool to make a living.

54. Money is not ordinary paper, but a universal equivalent.

Today's weather is not hot, but it is very, very hot.

56. Work is not simply to complete the tasks assigned by superiors, but to solve problems or complete tasks with high quality, and even create a good reputation for the enterprise.

57. The nickname's father is not a teacher, but a principal.

This is not yours, but everyone's. This is not your business alone, but everyone's business.

I won't go home tomorrow, but I must.

60. Difficulties are not used to complain, but to make yourself stronger.

6 1, your words and actions are not irritating, but very irritating.

62. It is not that there is no beauty, but that we lack the vision to discover beauty.

It was he, not you, who won the first prize.

64. I really can't answer your question. It's not too complicated, not that your question has no answer at all.

Extended reading: how to learn to make sentences

1. Making sentences is a common and necessary thing in Chinese learning. Persistent sentence-making training helps students accumulate a lot of writing materials and reduce their fear of writing. The experience and accumulation of this ability is very helpful to students.

Second, Chinese sentence-making has the following requirements: the sentence should be fluent and the meaning expressed should be accurate; Sentences should be concise, and the expression of meaning should be vivid. When making sentences, we should pay attention to thoroughly understanding the meaning of words and defining the application methods of words, which is the premise of making sentences correctly. At the same time, it is also important to consider the content of the sentence. Another thing to note is that it is best to make sentences in connection with your own life, so that you can make sentences. Never copy the original sentence in the textbook or the teacher's model sentence.

Thirdly, making sentences is relatively simple for adults, but it is an arduous task for junior students. They often make sentences with wrong words because they can't fully understand the meaning of words. So before you make a sentence, you must first understand the meaning of the word.

4. Sentence-making words are generally newly learned in the text, so you should read the sentences containing this word repeatedly before making sentences to understand the meaning of this word, what is the difference between it and words with similar meanings, and when you can use this word.

5. Use as if to make a sentence, which seems to mean that one thing is similar to another, and in most cases it is used in immaterial states such as feelings and environment. Spring breeze feels very comfortable on your face, just like a silk scarf across your cheek.

6. Sentence-making is a traditional project in Chinese training. It is the cultivation of students' ability to choose words and make sentences, and plays a unique role in improving students' thinking and language expression ability. Because of the limitation of knowledge level, cognitive ability and life experience, junior students have a superficial understanding of words, so they should make more efforts when making sentences. The study of sentence-making should first pay attention to the teaching of word meaning. Explain the meaning of the words in the sentence clearly and accurately, and explain the scope of use clearly.