There is a joke that his wife is pregnant and then her husband sends messages in groups.

The director sent a message to the female secretary: I miss you so much. In the International Hotel1Room 203. Come on! But I accidentally pressed the group send button.

At that time, reply to.

Secretary: Virtue, why are you in such a hurry?

Girlfriend: I just went last night, and now I go again?

Female section chief: Leader, today is not convenient. Let's take a rain check!

Male Deputy Director: How come I didn't know you were gay?

Female subordinate: I'll be right there!

Sister Wang opposite: My husband is at home today. How about tomorrow?

Female Deputy Director: You just remembered me?

Divorced female classmate: I stopped talking. I've been divorced for six months!

Female Deputy Chief: I'm working outside, and it will take me two hours to get there!

Secretary: Why did you go so far? Come to my office!

Wife: Come back! Waste that money!

1. During the husband's overseas business trip, his wife and four-year-old daughter were at home. One day, my little daughter said to her wife, "I want a little brother." That's a good idea. The wife answered with a smile. "But don't you think you should wait for your father to come back?" The younger daughter's idea is even cooler. "Why can't we give him a surprise?"

2. Pediatric nurse, she told me the other day: There are two little boys in a ward, one is 3 years old and the other is 2 years old. The 2-year-old child has been crying there naked. I guess I was scared when I came to the hospital. Then the 3-year-old boy picked up his mobile phone and took a picture of a 2-year-old child and said, "Why are you crying? If you cry again, send your nude photos online! " A room full of adults immediately laughed!

3. "Husband, I have a stomachache." "Hello, the hospital is here." "Husband ~" "I'm coming." "Do you think this baby is a boy or a girl?" "Both men and women are good. I like you." "Well, that's great." Say that finish, then closed his eyes with satisfaction. At this time, I only heard the nurse roar: "Are you two big men finished?" He is doing acute appendicitis surgery, not caesarean section. "

4. The man's surname is Qian, the woman's surname is Xu, and then the daughter-in-law is pregnant. One surnamed Qian and the other surnamed Xu, and the young couple almost divorced. As a result, the child was born, and the problem was solved, twins! ! ! Then one called a lot of money, and the other called a lot of money! ! ! QQ:28092 1 She is beautiful and her diary is awesome)

5. Female: "I want to complain that the nurses in your hospital call names." Doctor: "Who scolded you?" Woman: "The nurse told me just now that after abdominal surgery, you have to be exhausted before you can eat." I asked her what exhaust was, and she said' nonsense'. "

6. Actually, I don't know the five elements, but I pretended to be a charlatan and grabbed her hand. "I will show you wealth." And nonsense. Then I held out my hand to show her. "Please pay attention to my palm print and your own palm print." She put me and her palm together in a serious way. "Do you know what this is called?" I pretended to be deep and said, "This is called a soul mate."

7. We submit the script to the company. The first script, Snow White, was handed in, and the boss instructed that there were more classics than expected. The second play "What Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs said in the forest ……" was published, and the boss instructed that daydreaming was more than innovation. The third script came out ... Three months later, The Story of Seven Snow Whites and a Dwarf was released and sold well at the box office.

8. One day in math class, the math teacher talked about geometry. After drawing the picture, he drew a P point in the circle and announced loudly to us: "Look, I put a P in the circle!" " "

9. A boy confessed to me today. In order to send him away, I said to the boy, "If you can give me the rainbow at once, I will associate with you." The boy replied, "Where do you want it to appear?" I held out my left hand and said, "Here it is." So ... so the boy put my hand on the ground and stepped on it hard!

10, my wife always spends money on fashion, and my husband is very dissatisfied. On this day, the husband bought a human body art oil painting from the painting shop. The wife asked curiously, "Why do painters always draw nude pictures when painting women?" The husband replied, "If you wear clothes, who will buy his paintings in case this style is out of date?"

1 1. I really hope that one day when I was walking on the road, I met a real estate developer and fell down, and then I helped him up. He smiled and gave me a real estate license and left. I shouted, boss, your real estate license! Then the boss turned to me with a smile and said, "No, it's your real estate license."

12 started chatting with QQ, a girl who had a crush on her, and told stories about her childhood. When I became more and more speculative, I made a handsome confession at 12 o'clock. Success! I talked until two o'clock ... at four o'clock, I was still too excited to sleep. My cell phone rang. "Sorry, I'm his brother. After chatting all night, I found that you are very nice ... "'

13. When I was a child, someone raised chickens next door to my husband's house. My husband is very happy and plans to let the chicken go to school. He also arranged a timetable for the chickens: learn swimming on Monday and martial arts on Tuesday. Swimming is putting chickens in a pot, martial arts is chasing chickens around with sticks, and finally all the chickens are ruined by him ... his mother threw a group of chickens to others. ...

14, shopping and seeing a lovely child. Then I looked at my husband and sighed. Say to your husband: if you give birth to a baby that looks like you in the future, it's over! My husband paused and gave me a hard look: if you don't look like me, you are finished! ! !

15, a diaosi secretly loves a goddess. Today, he went out to wash his hands in the public toilet and saw her washing her hands, too. So she is going to say a few words. Passing behind her, she turned her head and smiled at him. Diaosi is in a hurry and doesn't know what to say. I blurted out, "Did you pee on your hand, too?"

16, a man bought a cigarette in the shop and lit one on the spot. The salesgirl said, "Please put out your cigarette, sir. We are not allowed to smoke here. " The man said doubtfully, "Didn't you buy this cigarette here?" The young lady said, "So what? We also sell toilet paper here. "