Inspirational stories to avoid direct conflicts with others

Inspirational stories about avoiding direct conflicts with others

One night just after World War II, Carl learned a valuable lesson in London. One night, Carl attended a party. During the banquet, a gentleman sitting on Karl's right told a humorous joke and quoted a sentence, which means "Man makes plans, and God makes things happen."

He said that sentence came from the Bible, but he was wrong. Carl knew the correct source and had no doubts.

In order to show his superiority, Carl corrected him annoyingly. The man immediately retorted: "What? From Shakespeare? Impossible, absolutely impossible! That sentence comes from the Bible." He was confident that it was so!

The gentleman is sitting on the right, and Karl's old friend Frank Germon is on his left. He has studied Shakespeare's works for many years. So, they both agreed to ask Gemon for advice. After hearing this, Germon kicked Karl under the table, and then said: "Karl, this gentleman is right, this sentence is in the Bible."

On the way home that night, Karl said to Germon Mon said: "Frank, you clearly know that sentence comes from Shakespeare."

"Yes, of course," he replied, "Hamlet, Act 5, Scene 2. But dear Carl, we You are a guest at the banquet, why do you want to prove him wrong? Will that make him like you? Why don't you save him some face? He didn't ask for your opinion, so why should you argue with him? ? You should always avoid confrontation with others. ”

Always avoid confrontation with others. The man who said these words has passed away, but the lesson Carl learned lives on. That was Carl's most profound lesson, because Carl was a troublemaker. When he was a child, he and his brother would fight over anything in the world. After entering college, Carl took logic and debate as electives, and often participated in debate competitions. Since that time, Carl has heard, seen, participated in, and criticized thousands of arguments. As a result of all this, he came to the conclusion that there is only one way to win in an argument, and that is to avoid arguments. Avoid arguments as you would avoid rattlesnakes and earthquakes.

Nine times out of ten, the outcome of the argument will leave both parties more convinced than before that they are absolutely right. You can't win an argument. If you lose, of course you lose; even if you win, you actually still lose. Why? So what if your victory exposes the opponent's argument to holes and proves it to be useless? You would feel smug; but what about him? He will be ashamed of himself, you have hurt his self-esteem, and he will resent your victory. And even if a person takes it orally, he is not convinced in his heart.

Paine Mutual Life Insurance Company has a rule: "Don't argue!"

The true spirit of sales is not argument, not even the most subtle argument. People's will will not change because of arguments.

There was an Irishman named O. Harry. He did not receive much education, but he loved to argue. He worked as a car driver for others, but later he asked his manager for help because he was unsuccessful in selling trucks. The manager listened to a few simple questions and discovered that he was always arguing with the customer. If the other party criticizes his car, he will immediately blush and argue loudly. O. Harry admitted that he won many verbal arguments but not customers. He later told the manager: "When I walked out of someone else's office, I always said to myself, I finally screwed that bastard once. I did screw him once, but I couldn't sell him anything."

The manager's first problem was not how to teach O. Harry to speak. What the manager set out to do was to train him how to control himself and avoid quarrels.

O. Harry is now a star salesman for Wilder Automobile Company in New York. How did he succeed? This is his sales pitch: "If I walked into a customer's office right now and they said, 'What? A Wilder truck? No! I don't even want it if you give it to me. I want Jose's truck.' He would say: 'Man, He Sai's goods are really good. You can't go wrong buying their trucks. He Sai's cars are excellent products. '"

"This way he has nothing to say and no excuses. If he said that He Sai's car was the best, I would say that he was right and he would have to shut up.

He couldn't spend the whole afternoon talking about 'what's the best car' after I agreed with him. We then stopped talking about Jose, and I started introducing Wilder's strengths. "

"If I had heard what he said back then, I would have been so angry that my face turned red and white - I would have found He Sai's fault, and the more I found fault with other cars, , the more the other party says it is good. The more intense the argument, the more the other person likes my competitor's product. ”

“Looking back now, I really don’t know how I did sales in the past! In the past, I spent a lot of time arguing, but now I keep my mouth shut, and it really works. "

As the wise Benjamin Franklin said: "If you always argue and refute, you may occasionally win, but it will be an empty victory because you will never win the favor of the other party. ”

Therefore, you have to weigh it yourself. Would you rather have a superficial victory or others’ favor for you?

You may be reasonable, but if you want to It's all in vain to change someone else's mind during an argument.

William McEnroe, Secretary of the Treasury under President Wilson, said something based on his years of experience in politics: "It's impossible to rely on debate. Convince ignorant people. ”

“Ignorant people? "McEnroe's words were too conservative and one-sided. No matter how intelligent the other party is, it is impossible to change his mind through debate.

Napoleon's housekeeper Constant once wrote in "Napoleon's Private Life Supplements" , he often played billiards with Josephine: "Although my skills are good, I always let her win, so she is very happy. ”

We can learn a lesson from Constant’s words: let our customers, friends, husbands, and wives beat us in trivial arguments.

Sakyamuni said: “Hate will not stop hate, but love will stop it. "It is impossible to eliminate misunderstandings by arguing, but can only rely on skill, coordination, tolerance and sympathy to change other people's opinions.

Lincoln once reprimanded a young man who had a fierce quarrel with a colleague. Officer, he said: "Anyone who is determined to achieve something will never waste time on private disputes. The consequences of disputes are beyond his ability to bear." Consequences include losing temper and losing self-control. Give in more to things that you have equal rights with others, and give in less to things that are obviously right for you. Instead of fighting with a dog and getting bitten by it, it is better to let it go first. Because even if you kill it, it won't cure your bite. ”

What a vivid metaphor this is, and what wisdom it contains! Remember, don’t argue.

Insights into life: Stupid people are so excited and noisy, smart people Strong people should maintain their composure and dignity at all times;