Two jokes in a row

Are you still counting sheep? Westerners use the subconscious to hypnotize by counting sheep. Sheep's English is sheep, which is close to sleeping, so counting sheep all the time is actually sleeping with yourself repeatedly. Sheep have no homophonic relationship with sleep in Chinese, so no matter how many you count, you are unlikely to fall asleep. However, if you really want to fall asleep, we can change the word-jiaozi jiaozi.

Today, I received a short message from a swindler asking me to remit money to an account of China Agricultural Bank. Half an hour later, I replied conveniently: 5000 yuan has been deposited, please check it. Later, I received a reply: "I went to the bank three times and haven't received your money, you liar!" " "

A: "I used to play chess with your father. Once, your father had only one elephant left, and I had only one scholar left. So, I suggested that elephants and people cross the river, and your father agreed. Your father will use his image as me, and I will use your father. Your father used his image as me again, so I used your father again. Your father is like me and I am like your father. Your father is like me, and I am your father. B: Get out!

Since all the women in the room have changed their names to Madame Curie, I don't want to be an otaku-please call me Picasso!

There is a little wolf. Oh, he was born a vegetarian, not a meat eater. His parents are very worried. As a result, my parents were very pleased to see the little wolf chasing the rabbit one day. Then the little wolf grabbed the rabbit and said, give me the carrot! ……

The best English abbreviation China Bank-BC does not exist! Agricultural Bank of China-Agricultural Bank of China, I won't save it! China Industrial and Commercial Bank-ICBC loves to save or not! Minsheng Bank-CMBC deposit? Idiot! China Development Bank-CDB, save it! Beijing Commercial Bank-BCCB lived in vain, or not? China Construction Bank CCB- Save it! ! !

I don't even believe in punctuation. Laughter is just an expression, which has nothing to do with happiness. I should have been heartless a long time ago, and now I don't need to tear my heart out. 4. the effect of contraception: if you don't succeed, you will become an adult. The pull ring of cans loves cans, but the cans are filled with coke. 6. Two tigers are not allowed in one mountain unless there is a male and a female. 7. My friend's name in his girlfriend's mobile phone is "He", and then they broke up and became "It".

Mm asked the host: How much does it cost you to host a wedding? Moderator: Not necessarily. Well, generally speaking, the more handsome the groom is, the higher the charge ~, mm shyly took out 10 yuan and handed it over. The host looked back at the groom, and then calmly looked for her 9.5 yuan. . .

A little rabbit went fishing in the pond, but it didn't catch any fish for a long time. The next day, the little rabbit went fishing in the pond again, but he still didn't catch a fish all day. On the third day, the little rabbit insisted on fishing in the pond, but still found nothing. On the fourth day, the rabbit went fishing in the pond. A fish jumped out of the water and growled at the rabbit, "If you use carrots as bait again, I will kill you!" "

A student went to the toilet and found that he didn't bring a paper towel. He couldn't wait for someone, and his mobile phone was in arrears. In desperation, he called 10086 for help. It is said that there was silence for a long time, and later ... his classmates received such a short message in class: Dear China Mobile User, your classmate XXX is in the toilet and asked you to send him a paper towel. For details, please consult information 10086.

Every time I miss a girl, I put a brick on the mountain, so there is the Great Wall. I don't like to tidy my room. They called me a hero in the chaos. I'll help you solve the problem that Confucius can't solve. I envy you knowing me at such a young age. Whenever I encounter difficulties, I will say: Oh, please moo, translated into English, all the money goes to my home.

A drunk woke up in the morning and told his wife that there was a ghost in our house. Yesterday, I came back to go to the toilet. As soon as I opened the door, the light turned on by myself, and a chill forced me! ! ! I saw his wife slap me: Did you fucking pee in the refrigerator again? !

Q: Is the sex of the sun male or female? A: Both men and women, because it is the "grandfather" of the sun.

After school at noon, I plan to eat in the canteen. On the way, I received a text message saying, "Dad, I am with the opposite sex. Please remit 5000 yuan to officer Wang's agricultural bank card (card number) as soon as possible. If the influence is bad, don't call and tell others ... "Everyone understood the meaning of this short message, so they prepared to give him a silence and replied," Baby, dad has been short of money recently. You must stick to it. "