What jokes make you laugh until your stomach cramps?

Hello, I'm glad to answer your question. Super funny jokes, I collected some for you, I hope it will help you.

Xiao Ming: Come and see, I'm on TV!

Xiao Wang: Why are you crawling around on TV?

Come down, don't step on the TV!

Xiaoming: Dad, I got into trouble again today. I made my teacher cry. Dad: What did you do to the teacher?

Xiao Ming said: I played with magnets in class and was found by the teacher and confiscated.

Dad: What's this? Xiao Ming: But as soon as the teacher took it, she sucked it on her big gold bracelet and cried on the spot.

I went to the headmaster and had a good fight! I scratched the headmaster's face and bled. I don't know why.

Dad: OK, it's all right. Go to play with magnets later. Stay away from your mother. ...

What I hate most in the company is not the boss, but my colleagues.

Because he often said his wife was ugly in front of me, I put up with it once or twice, but he kept talking every day.

At noon that day, we sat together for dinner again. As a result, he once again called his wife ugly. I can't stand it at last. I stood up, picked up my lunch box and smashed it in his face. Can you stop saying such disgusting things while eating?

7. A buddy's love is always bumpy, and then the blind date is even more terrible, so he decided to go to the mage to calculate.

After chatting for a long time, the buddy suddenly asked the master, "Master, why don't you open your eyes?" Is the eye uncomfortable? "

The master sighed, "no, it's almost time to eat. I'm afraid I can't eat with my eyes open. "

8. I feel so sad and redundant. ""No, you are handsome, rich, gentle, humorous and kind. How can you be redundant? "Because I contracted a fish pond."

9. There is a Mr. Huang, whose son is called Huang Jun. He often takes his son on the No.8 bus, so there is often such a funny scene: Mr. Huang takes his son to the station and sees a No.8 bus entering the bus station in the distance. He immediately shouted to his son: "Huang Jun, run, the 8 th is coming!" "

10. There is a couple in the park, which is very sweet. Girl says husband: I have a toothache ~ ~! The boy then kissed the girl and asked, Does it still hurt? The girl said no! After a while, the girl coquetry said: Husband, my neck hurts! The boy kissed the girl's neck again and asked if it still hurts this time. The girl said happily: it doesn't hurt! An old lady stood by and watched for a long time, but there was nothing she could do. She stepped forward and asked the young man, young man, you are really something. Can you treat hemorrhoids?

1 1. Men have gold under their knees, while women have gold on their heads, necks, ears and hands.

12. When some girls go to worship Buddha, they must remember: no makeup! If it succeeds, the Bodhisattva will protect you, and I'm afraid she won't find you!

13. When I was a child, I saw my parents quarreling and often struggled. Should I get married when I grow up? It was not until I reached that age that I found out: I really think too much!

14. The teacher is bald. Once in class, he said, "What if my left hand is positive and my right hand is negative?" The deskmate replied, "Your skull will light up."

15. I am very angry today. I just went to the barber's to have my hair cut. The barber asked me where to cut it, and I said I cut my chin. Then he asked me: What level did you cut your chin?

16. What is the power of mathematics? I can't understand the answer after copying! What is the power of Chinese? I don't want to copy after reading the answer!

17. I once threatened that I would rather freeze to death than become a dog. Until today, I was frozen into a dog, because I was too young to understand that beautiful promise.

18. I just graduated in my twenties, and the salary gap is a little small. Calm down and get used to it when the wage gap in your thirties is getting bigger and bigger.

19. On the tenth anniversary of marriage, the wife said to her husband affectionately, "Dear, talk about your feelings in the past ten years." The husband sighed and said, "Marriage is risky, so be careful when you apply for a certificate!" "

20. When you are alive, you will be laughed at at first, then you will laugh at others, and finally you will die laughing.