What humorous jokes are there in classical Chinese?

1, the original text: When a person got lost, he met a mute. He didn't answer, but he made money with his hands, indicating that he would get the money. He was willing to show him the way. This man is going to count money. The mute pointed the way, and he asked, "Why don't you have the money to be dumb?" Dumb: "In today's world, talk if you have money!" "

A lost man met a "mute" who didn't answer. "Dumb" will only give money by hand and show the way. The lost man understood the meaning and immediately took out some money to the "dumb". "Dumb" opened his mouth and pointed to the road. The lost man asked, "Why do you pretend to be deaf?" "Dumb" said: "In today's world, you can talk if you have money."

3. Excerpted from Laughter in the Woods, a collection of signature games in the Qing Dynasty, mostly jokes in the Ming and Qing Dynasties.

Second, "rationality"

1, the original text: officials are the most greedy. One day, two people were arrested (tried) for dysprosium, and the plaintiff gave fifty gold. When the defendant heard about it, he paid double the bribe. The trial, regardless of the reason, draws lots to beat the plaintiff. The plaintiff will make a gesture of counting to five and say, "Small is reasonable." The official also replied with his hand: "Slave, you are right." He shook his hand and said, "He is more reasonable than you."

2. An official is very greedy. One day, he arrested the plaintiff and defendant for trial. The plaintiff gave the official 520 gold, and the defendant doubled the bribe as soon as he heard it. When the court opened, officials drew lots indiscriminately and beat the plaintiff. The plaintiff pointed his finger and said, "I'm right." The official also held out five fingers and said, "Slave, although you are right", and then turned his hand and said, "He is more right than you!"

3, source: rational, pinyin yǒu lǐ, from A Dream of Red Mansions.

Third, "confusion"

1, the original text: A young blind man was involved in a lawsuit and complained that he was blind. The official said, "How can you cheat when you have a pair of white eyes?" Answer: "The master thinks that the villain is innocent, and the villain thinks that the master is confused."

2. A green-blind man was involved in a lawsuit. He argued that he was blind. The official said, "Your eyes are blue and white. What are you pretending to be blind? " The man replied, "You look at me innocently, but I think you are confused!" " " ?

3. Excerpted from Laughter in the Woods.

Fourth, "pile gangs"

1, the original text: a military attache goes out and loses. Suddenly there is a magic weapon to help, and the victory is great. The military attache knocked on God's name, and God said, "I am the god of stacks."

The military attache asked, "What is the virtue of that young man, who dares to work hard to save the immortal?" God said, "I only feel that you have never hurt me with an arrow in the teaching field."

2. Once upon a time, a military commander went to war and was about to fail. Suddenly, with the help of the magic warrior, defeat turned into victory. The military commander kowtowed and asked the name of God, and the immortal said, "I am a stack god."

The military commander said, "What kind of kindness and ability do I have to ask the stack god to save me?" The god replied, "I only thank you for never hurting me with an arrow when you practice archery on the school playground."

3. Source: Selected from Pu Songling's Strange Tales from a Lonely Studio in Qing Dynasty.

Five, "Tian Jian Zi Chicken"

1, the original text: A rich man has more than one acre, and he rents it to Zhang, and each acre has a chicken. Zhang San hid the chicken behind his back, and the owner of the field chanted, "This field is different from Zhang San." Zhang San quickly offered the chicken, and the owner shouted, "Who would Zhang San be without it?" Zhang San said, "I didn't hear about it at first, but I heard about it later. Why? " Master Tian said: "At first, the chicken didn't say anything. Later, I did it when I saw it."

2. A rich man, who has extra fields at home, wants to rent three kinds of land to Zhang, (on condition) giving a chicken per acre. Zhang San put the chicken behind his back, and the farmer (the rich man) sang, "This field will not be cultivated by Zhang San." Zhang San quickly took out the chicken for him. Master Tian sang "Who won't give it back to Zhang San?" Zhang San said: "I just heard you say that you didn't give me (seeds), and then you gave me seeds." Why? " The owner said: "I didn't talk about chicken (recording) at first, but I did it as soon as I saw the chicken (machine)."

3. Excerpted from Laughter in the Woods.