Looking for a joke that can make people laugh to their stomachs

1. One day, Eggplant was walking on the street and suddenly sneezed very loudly. It wiped its nose and said angrily: "Damn it! Someone took a group photo again!" 2. There was a buck. It ran faster and faster... In the end, it turned into a high-speed buck. ! 3. Question: The teacher was doing a spot check on memorizing the text in class. Piglets, puppies, and kittens all raised their hands. Who will the teacher call? Answer: Puppy, because Wangwang Senbei! 4. Question: Which two fruits have mobile phones? Answer: Carrots and greens, everyone has their own preferences! 5. Question: Between metal, wood, water, fire and earth, who has the longer legs? Answer: Ham sausage! 6. One day, Mung Bean broke up with his girlfriend. He was very sad, so he kept crying and crying and crying... and it sprouted! 7. Question: Why don’t a medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak say hello when they meet? Answer: Because they are not familiar with them! 8. Question: Xiaobai + Xiaobai = Little White Rabbit, Dabai + Dabai + Dabai =? Answer: Jaws! 9. Xiao Ming had his hair cut, and when he came to school the next day, his classmates saw his new hairstyle and laughed: "Xiao Ming, your hair looks like a kite!" Xiao Ming felt aggrieved and ran outside to cry. Crying and crying...he flew up! 10. An egg went to a teahouse to drink tea, and it turned into a tea egg; an egg ran to swim in the Songhua River, and turned into a preserved egg; an egg ran to Shandong, and turned into a Lu (stewed) egg; An egg accidentally fell on the road and fell to the ground and turned into a missile; an egg ran to the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau and turned into a hydrogen bomb; an egg got sick and turned into a bad guy; an egg rode on a The horse, holding a knife, turns out to be Dao Ma Dan! 11. There is a penguin whose home is so far away from the polar bear’s home that it would take 20 years to reach it by walking. One day, the penguin was very bored at home and was going to play with the polar bear. So he went out, but half way down the road, he found that he had forgotten to lock the door. It had been 10 years since he left, but the door still had to be locked. Lock it, so the penguin walked home again to lock the door. After locking the door, the penguin set out again to find the polar bear. It took him 40 years to reach the polar bear's home. Then the penguin knocked on the door and said, "Polar bear, polar bear, the penguin is here to play with you!" As a result, the polar bear opened the door and said, "Okay, okay, let's go to your house to play!" 12. Question: What does the cannibal chief eat? Answer: People! Question: One day, the chief fell ill and the doctor told him to be vegetarian. So what did he eat? Answer: Eat a vegetable! 13. Once upon a time, there was a bird. It passed through a corn field every day, but unfortunately, one day there was a fire in the corn field, and all the corn turned into popcorn!!! The bird flew over and thought: Snow, it’s so cold! 14. The nature class teacher asked: Why is the body cold after death? No one answered. The teacher asked again: Doesn't anyone know? At this time, a classmate stood up and said: That's because the mind is naturally cool. 15. A boyfriend and girlfriend went shopping. When the woman was tired, she said to the man: "Oh, my feet are sore." As a result, the man said: "What's wrong? Did you step on a lemon?" ?” 16. Question: Which cartoon character is the most affectionate? Answer: Mermaid (because she can’t cheat)! 17. One day, the three little pigs built three huts to avoid being chased by the big bad wolf. The big bad wolf effortlessly blew down the thatched house, the wooden house, and the brick house. The three little pigs ran as fast as they could, but they were still caught up by the big bad wolf. The three little pigs said desperately: "You have to figure it out. We gave up and it's up to you." At this time, the big bad wolf smiled and drooled and said: "Then tell me where is Little Red Riding Hood?" 18. Two flies went to eat. The younger one asked the older one: "Brother, why do we eat shit every day?" The older one said: "Don't say such disgusting things while eating!!!" 19. Tomato A and Tomato B went shopping. B asked A: Where are we going? A doesn't answer. B asked again: Where are we going? A still doesn’t answer. B asked again. Tomato A turned to Tomato B and said, "Aren't we tomatoes? Can we talk?" 20. One day, A picked up a mirror, looked in the mirror and said, "The people here look so familiar." B said: "Really? Let me take a look (take the mirror), it's me! You don't even recognize me anymore?" 21. Question: Why is the puppy getting smaller and smaller? Answer: Because it goes further and further. 22.A patient came to a psychiatrist. Patient: I always felt like I was a bird.

Doctor: Oh, that’s serious. When did it start? Patient: Ever since I was a little bird. 23. Two mentally ill patients escaped from the hospital. The two ran and ran and climbed up a tree. One of them jumped down from the tree and rolled. Then he raised his head and said to the person above: "Hey... why don't you come down...?" The person above answered him: "No... okay... ah... I'm not familiar with it yet!" 24. There is one Crazy, he got a pistol from nowhere, and he walked in a small black alley. Suddenly he met a young man. Without saying a word, he pinned him to the ground and pointed a gun at his head, asking: "1+1=?" The young man was frightened! After pondering for a long time, he answered tremblingly: "It's equal to 2." The lunatic killed him without hesitation! Then he put the gun in his arms and said coldly: "You know too much!" 25. There was a patient in the mental hospital who was lying on the bed singing. He suddenly stopped in the middle of singing, and then turned over. Keep singing. The doctor saw it strange and asked: "Why do you want to turn over?" The patient replied: "You are stupid. After singing side A, of course you have to sing side B!" 26. Question: Which animal is most likely to slip? Answer: Fox, because it is cunning! 27. Question: How to distinguish twin brothers? Answer: Next to the elder brother is the younger brother, and next to the younger brother is the elder brother! 28. A snail was walking on the road, but a turtle came from behind and ran over it. The snail was sent to first aid. When the snail woke up, the police officer asked it about the situation at that time. The snail replied: "I don't remember, everything happened too fast!" 29. One day, the teacher asked him to make a sentence using "what's more", Xiao Ming replied: "One column The train is coming from afar, and besides... besides..." 30. A stupid person can never find a job. One day he got an interview opportunity at KFC. The manager asked him what his specialty was and he said he could sing. Then he cleared his throat and sang: "More choices and more laughter are at McDonald's." 31. The farmer was driving his donkey into the city. When he met a rogue, he asked: "Have you eaten?" The farmer said, "Yes." The rogue said : "I'm asking about the donkey." The farmer turned around and slapped the donkey twice and said, "I have relatives in the city and didn't even say a word!" 32. A child whose head looked like a brick asked his mother, "Does my head look like a brick?" His mother was afraid of hurting his self-esteem and said, "Go and take a picture in the well." As soon as he reached the well and took a picture, he heard someone shouting from the bottom of the well: "Don't throw bricks up there." 33. Question: Xiao Bai looks a lot like his brother, as an idiom goes. Answer: The truth is out

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