Suddenly tell English jokes

English jokes can reduce all kinds of troubles in life. The following are the English jokes I arranged for you.

Watch out for dogs.

A stranger walked into a small country shop and noticed a warning sign, "Danger! Beware of dogs! " Stick it on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound sleeping on the floor next to the cash register. "Is that a dog that people should watch out for?" He asked the shopkeeper. "Yes, that's him," he replied. The stranger couldn't help being amused. "In my opinion, that certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog. Why on earth did you put up that sign? " "Because," explained the shopkeeper, "people kept tripping over him before I put up that sign!"

A stranger walked into a small shop in his hometown and saw a sign posted on the glass door, which read:? Danger! Watch out for dogs! ? After going in, he saw an old dog that didn't look fierce at all sleeping on the floor next to the cash register. ? Is this the dog that everyone should pay attention to? The stranger asked the shopkeeper. ? Yes, that's him? , the owner replied. Hearing this answer, the stranger felt very funny. ? I don't think that dog is scary at all. Why did you post that notice? Because? The shopkeeper explained,? Before I posted the notice, everyone tripped over him. ?

Cold and heat

A customer in Montreal cafe turned on the tap in the bathroom and got burned. "This is too much," he complained. "The tap marked C gave me boiling water." "But, sir, C stands for chaude-French fever. You should know that if you live in Montreal. " "Wait a minute," roared the boss. "The other faucet is also marked C." "Of course," said the manager, "it stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city. "

A customer in the cafe Montreal turned on the tap in the bathroom and got scalded by the water. ? This is disgusting. He complained. The tap marked C is boiling water. ? But, sir, c stands for Chaude, which stands for' hot' in French. If you live in Montreal, you should know this. ? Wait a minute. The customer growled. The other faucet is also marked c? Sure,? The manager said: this C stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city. ?

Get married in heaven

A young couple died in a car accident on their way to get married. Now they are in front of St. Peter, and the young lady asks them if they can get married. St Peter told them that he had to give them an answer. About 30 days later, St Peter came back and told the couple that they could get married in heaven. The young lady then asked St. Peter? If things don't go well, can we get a divorce? St. Peter looked at her and replied, "Madam, it took me 30 days to find a missionary. Do you really think I will find a lawyer?" ! ! "

A young couple was killed in a car accident on their way to get married. So they came to St. Peter, and his wife asked her if she could still marry her husband. St Peter told them that he would come back to them once he had a result on this issue. Almost 30 days later, St. Peter came back and told them that they could get married in heaven. The wife asked again:? If life is unhappy, can I get a divorce? St Peter looked at her and replied, Madam, it took me 30 days to find a missionary. Do you really want me to find another lawyer?

call the roll

On the first day of college class, I sat in the front row in literature class. The professor told us that we would be responsible for reading five books, and he would provide us with a list of authors from which we could choose. Then he walked slowly onto the platform, took out his textbook and began to say, "Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook …" I was writing down all the names enthusiastically when I felt someone pat me on the shoulder. The student sitting behind me whispered, "He is calling the roll."

On the first day of college, I sat in the front row of literature class. The professor told us that we must read five books this semester, and he provided us with a list of authors for us to choose from. Then he walked slowly onto the platform and took out his textbook. Baker, Blake, Bruce, Carter, Cook? In order to write down all the names, I had to take crazy notes. At this moment, someone patted me on the shoulder, and the student sitting behind me quietly told me that he was calling the roll. ?

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