Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Ask Zhao Benshan 10 Spring Festival Evening program line to "donate money"
Ask Zhao Benshan 10 Spring Festival Evening program line to "donate money"
Performer: Zhao Benshan, Wang Xiaoli, Shenyang, Sun Lirong and Yu Yang.
Screenwriter: Yin Qi He Qingkui
Wang xiaoli: In-laws.
Zhao Benshan: What, this is still waiting at my door?
Wang xiaoli: No hurry? I'm waiting for you to withdraw money from me. Did you get my fifteen thousand back?
Zhao Benshan: Tomorrow. Oh, I did something a hundred times more important today than withdrawing money from you.
Wang xiaoli: Yes?
Zhao Benshan: I just arrived at the bank and saw a crowd, so I squeezed in. What are you talking about?
Wang xiaoli: What? What ~ ~ What's wrong?
Zhao Benshan: At the donation site, a child went to college and had no money. Everyone donated money. I squeezed in and asked if I could swipe my card without cash. He said yes! I said 3000:
Wang xiaoli: Oh ~ ~ Oh ~ ~ Oh ~ ~ Don't say you did it openly.
Zhao Benshan: What are you talking about?
Wang xiaoli: It usually takes eight bottles of beer to eat a kebab, and then the money piles up like sparks. I really admire you for doing such a big thing ~ ~ ~ hehe.
Zhao Benshan: Later, after the donation, my God! They all surrounded me with a bunch of people. The photographer took a picture, but I didn't care about my face and came back. Why didn't we have a famous visit? I'm back ~ ~
Wang xiaoli: ~ ~ ~ Really ~ ~
Zhao Benshan: ~ ~ ~ I'll get it for you tomorrow.
(Little Shenyang and Yu Yang take the stage)
Shenyang: Hello! Is it uncle Qian's house?
Zhao Benshan: Look, here he comes ~ ~ That's the gang just now ~ ~
Shenyang: Are you Uncle Qian? (shaking hands) You walk too fast to keep up. ~ ~ Let me introduce myself. We are from the column group of Sohu video "Find out". My name is Yang Yang ~ ~ (turning to Yang Yang). I'm going to interview Big Face.
Zhao Benshan: You should be polite. How can you call me my nickname when I'm so old? Big face, big face. I haven't been summoned for over 30 years.
Yu Yang: My name is Big Face.
Shenyang: Yes.
Zhao Benshan: Oh, my gosh ~ ~ Your boy is really pushing the waves behind the Yangtze River.
(Laughter).
Yu Yang: He is really humorous.
Wang xiaoli: Don't say this length is as good as yours O(∩_∩)O~
Shenyang: Grandpa, we are here to give you an interview ~ ~
Zhao Benshan: I didn't plan to interview ~ it's useless ~ ~
Wang xiaoli: No, no, no ~ ~ It's all here ~ Choose.
Shenyang: Yes.
Wang xiaoli: Pick me up, too.
Shenyang: Yes.
Shenyang: Let me tell you something. We are online and can be received all over the world. Live, live.
Zhao Benshan: Online?
Shenyang: Yes, on the Internet.
Zhao Benshan: Not on TV?
Shenyang: I can't see TV.
Zhao Benshan: Global?
Shenyang: Yes. the four seas—the whole country
Zhao Benshan: What do you think of it online?
Shenyang: It's very simple. Just type sogou into the computer and you two will come out.
(confused)
Wang xiaoli: Search sogou.
Zhao Benshan: What? What do you mean by that? ⊙⊙ B. B. sogou found us both.
Shenyang: No, you two can search in the way of sogou.
Zhao Benshan and wang xiaoli: Aren't you still ~ ~ ~
Yu Yang: No, what is this ~ ~ ~ It's not that you have a fork. Sogou is an input method. Just type two names in this input method and it will come out immediately, not only on the computer, but also on the mobile phone.
Shenyang: Right, right, right.
Zhao Benshan: I understand now. It's sogou. It's coming out. I'll tie a rope and follow it out.
Zhao Benshan: No matter how you search, it's global.
Shenyang: Grandpa, will you change your clothes? Can't stop in the middle
Zhao Benshan: Nothing. That's what I wore to donate.
Wang xiaoli: No, don't wear me. I look much better.
Zhao Benshan: I thought you donated yours.
Shenyang: Then prepare yourself, Grandpa.
Zhao Benshan: Well (to Wang Xiaoli), being global is no small matter ~ ~ As soon as our family became famous, it became global.
Wang xiaoli: Congratulations.
Yu Yang: No, uncle, if the light in this room is a little dim, turn it on again.
Shenyang: Is the lens cover open? Sanmen cannon
Yu Yang: Oh ⊙⊙ B.
Zhao Benshan: What kind of team are you talking about? We even added a light bulb today.
Yu Yang: Sorry, Uncle. Zhao Benshan, my intern: Intern, practice slowly.
Shenyang: Are you ready for the host?
Yu Yang: All right, let's go.
Shenyang: Hello, netizens! You are watching the "Find out" column that Sohu Video is broadcasting live for you. I'm Yang Yang, the host. A very touching thing just happened at Uncle Qian's house in Tieling. A farmer donated his savings to a child who couldn't afford to go to school ~ ~ Behind me was Uncle Qian. Come and meet Uncle Qian.
Wang xiaoli: OK.
Zhao Benshan: OK.
Shenyang: You just came back from the donation site, right?
Zhao Benshan: (being answered by Wang Xiaoli)
Wang xiaoli: I just got back.
Shenyang: Then why don't you accept our interview on the spot?
Zhao Benshan: (being answered by Wang Xiaoli)
Wang xiaoli: Learn from Lei Feng and do good deeds without leaving a name.
Shenyang: Grandpa, how did you come up with the idea of donating money?
Zhao Benshan: (being answered by Wang Xiaoli)
Shenyang: At that time, he just wanted to donate money ~ ~ ~ ~
Zhao Benshan: Hehe, I donated it.
Wang xiaoli: Hehe O(∩_∩)O~ Pick him.
Shenyang: Grandpa, what do you think?
Zhao Benshan: If one party is in trouble, all parties will help. If someone is in trouble, give him a hand at this time. (To Wang Xiaoli) To tell you the truth, we also went through difficult times, didn't we?
Wang xiaoli: Yes.
Zhao Benshan: Isn't it difficult for our children to go to school? It's nothing to take some money. No one dares to say that he has money all his life. What do you think Americans are like? Don't you think they borrowed money from us this year? What are you talking about?
Zhao Benshan: Who can say you have money?
Shenyang: Grandpa, that's very kind of you.
Zhao Benshan: Isn't it?
Shenyang: I wonder how many people are there in your family, Uncle?
Zhao Benshan: Two, just father and son.
Wang xiaoli: Just two.
Shenyang: It seems that your son is not young.
Zhao Benshan: Ah+_+
Wang xiaoli: What are your eyes?
Shenyang: What's the matter?
Wang xiaoli: I'm his in-laws.
Zhao Benshan: Stop it, boy. Look how old he is. They are older than me. How can they be my sons?
Shenyang: I knew it was your son at a glance.
Zhao Benshan: I saw him once, but I saw you twice. Then you became my grandson.
Zhao Benshan: He can't joke with me at all.
Shenyang: Sorry, Uncle.
Zhao Benshan: Yes.
Shenyang: What's your name, sir?
Wang xiaoli: My last name is Bai nao.
Shenyang: Oh, it's my in-laws. I think I misunderstood my uncle.
Zhao Benshan: Both of us, our wives left early, so fortune-telling should be very hard.
Wang xiaoli: I'm a little softer than him. I met another wife. I will see you tomorrow.
Shenyang: Oh, congratulations.
Little Shenyang: Uncle Qian, I want to know what is your source of life?
Zhao Benshan: Farming, our partnership has a good income.
Wang Xiaoli: We farm together, in a group of two households, except for my wife.
Zhao Benshan: It was handled well. He trusts me especially. He put all his money in my card.
Shenyang: You are a farmer who lives by farming, so you donated 30,000 yuan, which is not a small sum.
Zhao Benshan: Hey, how much is 333 ~ ~?
Small Shenyang: 30,000
Zhao Benshan: Thirty thousand?
Shenyang: Yes.
Wang xiaoli: Then you made the wrong choice. That's not him.
Wang xiaoli: I'm telling you, you donated 3,000 yuan, which is not enough for home interviews. It's not enough for you.
Shenyang: Dear netizen, what a simple uncle he is. Even if we catch up with him at home, he won't reveal his real number. Apparently, he donated 30 thousand, insisting that 3 thousand is too low-key
Shenyang: Grandpa, are you calling money tight?
Zhao Benshan: I mean money is tight.
Shenyang: Then you don't have to keep a low profile. You donated.
Zhao Benshan: Then where did you get this number?
Shenyang: Didn't you just swipe your card? When I swiped the card, it said 30 thousand, and now there is still a little interest left in the card
Small Shenyang: Uncle, your realm is too high.
Zhao Benshan: No, my blood pressure is a little high now.
Zhao Benshan: I didn't want to give you specific figures. Can you let me add them up first?
Small Shenyang: Dear netizens, don't go away. It will be more exciting after the advertisement.
Wang xiaoli: How much did you donate?
Zhao Benshan: 3000, he told me four digits ~ ~ I pressed four zeros, 100,000, and there was a three in front.
Wang xiaoli: All the 30,000 yuan was donated?
Zhao Benshan: Really?
Wang xiaoli: What about my 15000?
Zhao Benshan: Without you, 15000 is not enough for 30000.
Wang xiaoli: Didn't you donate my money?
Zhao Benshan: What do you suggest?
Wang Xiaoli: I'm waiting for my wife tomorrow. What did you say you did?
Zhao Benshan: What should we do?
Wang xiaoli: Are you a volunteer?
Zhao Benshan: Yes.
Wang Xiaoli: Then tell him that the money was donated wrongly and get it back.
Zhao Benshan: Bullshit, alive. You think the whole world knows, do you want money or face?
Wang xiaoli: I want my wife.
Zhao Benshan: If you want a wife, why don't you go home and wait for me to find a way to lend you money?
Wang xiaoli: Where am I going? As soon as I have a home, you will make me homeless.
Zhao Benshan: I'll pay you back when the money comes. Can't let this go?
Wang Xiaoli: When will you pay me back?
Zhao Benshan: I sell iron. Can I give you the house?
Wang xiaoli: My house is bigger than mine. Who wants it?
Zhao Benshan: What are you saying now? This live interview is waiting for us.
Wang xiaoli: You wait. You can't take my money.
Zhao Benshan: I'll take you to Sanya after the Chinese New Year. The air is really good. When we travel to Harbin, the sea is around us.
Wang xiaoli: Forget it, I'm not going with you. I can't even dig a dog on the beach. I don't want to get into the water. You kicked me down with one foot.
Zhao Benshan: Make a good adjustment.
Wang xiaoli: How to adjust?
Zhao Benshan: Why are you so happy?
Wang xiaoli: I'm still happy. Can you promise not to cry?
Shenyang: Welcome back to the live broadcast room ~ ~ Uncle Qian, we want to interview your relatives. Do you think it's okay?
Zhao Benshan: No, he doesn't speak fluently. Can I speak for him?
Shenyang: No, I won't embarrass him. Just a few words. Let's go
Zhao Benshan: I interviewed you. Pay attention to your emotional adjustment.
Shenyang: (Shouting) Hello, Uncle Bai.
Zhao Benshan: What are you yelling about? His ears are fine. He is deaf.
Shenyang: How are you?
Wang xiaoli: Not good.
Zhao Benshan: He said that life is beautiful. Don't always slip up when you say it all (wang xiaoli: I say everything ~ ~). If you live a beautiful life, you will always enjoy life (I will say anything). What about live broadcast?
Shenyang: Grandpa, what do you think of the donations from relatives?
Wang xiaoli: What do you think of putting righteousness above family interests?
Zhao Benshan: What? That's a misnomer. That is selflessness (how can I ~ ~ ~). Love knows no borders (how can it ~ ~ ~). It snowed without a trace (how can it be ~ ~ ~). Is it okay? Why can't I stop you?
Little Shenyang: Uncle Bai, are you feeling good?
Wang xiaoli: Wei's is too big. This got me into trouble.
Zhao Benshan: He means that a great image has its shadow (you, you ~ ~) and my relatives are great. He has been very excited (me, me ~ ~) when he heard that I donated the money. He has something to say (I don't have it ~ ~) and it is broadcast live around the world.
Shenyang: Grandpa, what do you think of your relatives?
Wang Xiaoli: He is like Sanmao, Ayi and fine steel Huluwa.
Shenyang: Why are they all children?
Wang xiaoli: Grandpa, who can do this?
Shenyang: What do you mean?
Zhao Benshan: What he means is that he just said that I have a childlike innocence, but sometimes I look like an old child. Yes, he is also compassionate (whatever ~ ~). Everyone has compassion. This man just can't catch up with him. (you, you ~ ~) live.
Shenyang: Uncle Qian, do you know your donor?
Zhao Benshan: It's just that children can't afford to go to school. Why?
Shenyang: I tell you, it is a single mother who sends her children to school to pick up junk. Now that the children are admitted to college, they just have no money to study.
Wang xiaoli: Widow.
Zhao Benshan: Can you watch your language? That's called a single woman She's on TV.
Wang xiaoli: You, you are very good at this whole thing. You carry water for widows in the village and donate money for widows outside. You have a relationship with widows in your life.
Zhao Benshan: I said, why do you say that?
Little Shenyang: Uncle Qian was very moved by the mother who donated the child and has followed the crew to your home. Zhao Benshan: May I not meet?
Shenyang: I'm coming.
Zhao Benshan: Please.
Shenyang: Here we are. Hey, the director is on stage.
Sun Lirong: (on stage) Thank you, big brother.
Wang Xiaoli: No, what about your brother?
Sun Lirong: Brother, what can I say? I don't know what to say about the money you donated to me. Thank you. I thank your big brother (on his knees).
Zhao Benshan: Hey hey, no, no.
Sun Lirong: Big Brother, I really appreciate your big brother.
Zhao Benshan: (following his knees) Oh, this, this.
Wang xiaoli: Why do you worship?
Zhao Benshan: You have to come quickly, or you can't get up.
Sun Lirong: Come on, big brother, get up and stop it.
Zhao Benshan: Well, if you are in trouble, you should help. It's nothing. Don't worry about it. Is there enough money for your children to go to school? Not enough for my in-laws. Sit down and don't cry.
Sun Lirong: I cry when I am excited. Sorry, big brother.
Wang xiaoli: Am I a little redundant?
Zhao Benshan: Then go home.
Wang xiaoli: I'm not going back.
Zhao Benshan: Will you stop talking until you go back?
Wang xiaoli: Why don't you want me to talk? I am a shareholder.
Small Shenyang: Shareholder
Sun Lirong: Shareholder
Zhao Benshan: He, he means that he encourages me to do all this (when do I play ~ ~ ~). He, without his encouragement, there would be no progress for me (I am not ~ ~ ~). It is this that often tells me that my in-laws should make more money by paying more, and then we will donate more (my ~ ~ ~) and spend more (my ~ ~ ~) work.
Wang xiaoli: It's called local suppression.
Shenyang: Aunt Qian, what do you want to say to Uncle Qian?
Sun Lirong: I don't say anything, just say yes (holding Zhao Benshan's hand). I just appreciate my big brother. Look at the money donated by my eldest brother, and there are many good people who care about me like him. Now let me say a few words to express my feelings.
Zhao Benshan: My hands are numb.
Zhao Benshan: Sohu thanks others. You don't need to thank me, okay? I didn't know this without them, did I? Thank you for the camera.
Sun Lirong: Thanks to the Central Meteorological Observatory.
Shenyang: Aunt, this is Sohu. com。
Sun Lirong: Thanks to Sohu Meteorological Observatory.
Zhao Benshan: It's not what you are doing in the weather. This has nothing to do with the weather.
Zhao Benshan: The Column Group of "Seeking Roots"
Sun Lirong: Thank you for getting to the bottom of it ~ ~
Small Shenyang: column group
Zhao Benshan: Don't stop until you stop. Let her talk. Don't be nervous about her.
Sun Lirong: column group, thanks to the party, thanks to the government and thanks to all those who care about me. I want to thank my eldest brother most.
Zhao Benshan: Then there is the second brother.
Zhao Benshan: Second brother, please adjust your mood. Come here.
Wang xiaoli: Forget it.
Sun Lirong: Brother, from now on, my son and I will leave the rest to you.
Sun Lirong: Let my son come to you for retirement after he graduates from college. You can be my son and your father.
Wang xiaoli:
Zhao Benshan:
Small Shenyang:
Yu Yang:
Sun Lirong: Why do you think I donated a father when I donated money?
Sun Lirong: Dude, I missed it in a hurry.
Zhao Benshan: No, I know what you mean. Your children will give you a pension. I have a son, okay?
Sun Lirong: What you have is yours, even if we don't.
Sun Lirong: If he doesn't take you as his father, I won't let him go. I will come then. I can't send you away today.
Zhao Benshan: This is getting scary.
Wang xiaoli: I see, you are killing three birds with one stone.
Zhao Benshan: How?
Wang xiaoli: I got the name, I got the person, I got it.
Zhao Benshan: What are you talking about?
Wang xiaoli: Isn't it obvious?
Zhao Benshan: What do you mean clear?
Wang Xiaoli: Here, here, here, here, the wedding reception. It's nothing.
Zhao Benshan: What wedding reception? This is for you.
Wang xiaoli: I don't want it.
Zhao Benshan: Look 15000, a bottle of 73 yuan.
Wang xiaoli: Are you kidding? Isn't it Guokeng 1573? Who are you kidding? Let's go I have to tell her my story. What's going on here? Let me tell you ~ ~ ~
Zhao Benshan: I said you should advertise first.
Shenyang: Dear friends, don't go away. It will be more exciting after the advertisement.
Wang Xiaoli: What are you doing?
Zhao Benshan: What do you want?
Wang xiaoli: What do you want? Zhao Benshan: What are you doing?
Wang Xiaoli: What are you doing here? Know that I am in a hurry with my wife tomorrow and have no money. It's good for you to win people back first.
Zhao Benshan: What? Not that kind of relationship. What are you talking about?
Wang xiaoli: We are like two piles of dry wood. You said you raised yours well, then turned to pee and watered mine.
Zhao Benshan: What's wrong with you? We don't have that relationship.
Wang xiaoli: No home.
Zhao Benshan: Can you go home?
Wang xiaoli: Can you go back at this juncture? I need to see what happened to my money.
Zhao Benshan: Don't say anything else.
Wang xiaoli: I won't say anything.
Shenyang: Welcome back to the live broadcast. Grandpa, this time you know that the mother is leading the son, right?
Zhao Benshan: Yes.
Wang xiaoli: Well, don't let your father lead your son. He may not have donated yet.
Zhao Benshan: What are you talking about?
Wang xiaoli: Is it all here?
Zhao Benshan: Yes?
Small Shenyang: Don't you take someone to wait on you?
Zhao Benshan: This is what you thought when she spoke. Tell everyone that you misunderstood. Do you think we know each other?
Sun Lirong: Yes.
Zhao Benshan: Well, what do you mean we know each other?
Sun Lirong: Didn't you just meet?
Zhao Benshan: I just met you, so I just met you. You are all confused and misunderstood.
Sun Lirong: I didn't know him before, brother.
Wang xiaoli: Edit and then edit. No matter how you edit it, I have to explain my business to him. I will (Zhao Benshan: Friend, don't go away, advertising is more exciting).
Zhao Benshan: You discuss it ~ ~ ~ ~ Why can't you stop it?
Wang Xiaoli: I just want my money back.
Zhao Benshan: Can't you ask the bank to return your 15000 for 3000 yuan?
Wang xiaoli: Then don't worry about what I say. I'll interview her this time.
Zhao Benshan: You interviewed her, and the truth came out.
Wang xiaoli: He didn't dig deep. I have to dig my ancestral grave.
Shenyang: Welcome back to Zhizhi ~ ~ ~ ~
Wang xiaoli: (grabs the receiver) Give me a hand.
Wang xiaoli: What's the matter? My in-laws and I still have 30 thousand in Cary, and we are going to see our wife tomorrow. I need this money badly. I said you take it back for me. He met her when he took the money ~ ~
Zhao Benshan: Yes, we donated the money, and he also has a share ~ ~ ~
Wang xiaoli: ~ ~ ~ Please hear me out. He just wanted to donate 3000 yuan at that time. He shivered when he was excited and donated 0.3 million.
Wang xiaoli: Sister, I'm telling you, I really need it tomorrow. I am not heartless, am I? If it really doesn't work, I will donate 3000 yuan. You can give me 12000.
Zhao Benshan: Be a hero. This 30 thousand yuan was donated by my in-laws. I will lend you money to go today. Is it because I don't want to get along with you? You can't get along (below)
Wang xiaoli: That's who you are.
Sun Lirong: (following) That's it. Ok, I'll keep Brother's 3000 yuan, and I'll pay back 12000. You don't need to borrow money. No, no, no.
Wang xiaoli: Well, big sister, if you two really make it, can you give me as a gift? Hey, big sister, big sister (following)
Small Shenyang: netizens and friends "get to the bottom of the matter" and dig until next year to see the results. chase
Yu Yang: What's your hurry?
Little Shenyang: He has Michael.
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