Judge drunken joke

1. Waiting in line in the canteen, I heard a boy next to me say, "Master, a bowl of bullet cauliflower soup!" (Porphyra and egg soup) Haha, I laughed until I sprayed the soup.

3. Once I went to buy mutton kebabs, I held out four fingers and said "three mutton kebabs" to my boss.

The boss received "How much?"

I held out three more fingers and said "four" ...

Our general manager's surname is Zhou. I was driving as soon as he called. When I get nervous, I say, "Premier Zhou ..."

5. My name is Zhu, and I manage the computer room of the unit. Someone called my cell phone once. "Chicken head, are you in the pigsty?" I was yelling at that guy.

13. A colleague asked me yesterday. How to write festivals? I replied. Add a festival section under the grass prefix and remove the grass prefix! All the staff burst into laughter! I haven't replied yet!

14. When I was cooking at noon, my mother made me a pot of carrots. "Go, cut the carrots into diced meat!"

15. When I was looking for a job, the examiner asked me when I would graduate. I wanted to say 2000, but when I got excited, I said, "Two thousand years ago …" What's more, the examiner sighed and said, "Confucius' student."

18. Drink with leaders and others, raise your glass and say loudly, "Let's die together!" My brain was too hot. ......

19. Boss, do you have a toilet paper hunger card?

22. The manager usually tells smokers at the meeting. All smokers were strangled! !

28. When I was in college, I heard a girl order food. Master fried a plate of hot and sour shredded potatoes, not potatoes!

29. 10 minutes after class, the deskmate raised her hand and said, teacher, I want to go to the toilet.

The English teacher said unhappily. How old are you to go to the toilet?

After the impassioned speech by the trade union chairman, the last sentence reached its climax. Comrades, let's do our work better this year than next year! The whole audience fell.

A Fu teaches in a primary school. He is tall and dignified, but he stammers when he is nervous. When he invigilated, he found that some students cheated. He angrily pointed at the cheating students and shouted, "You … you … you … you … you … you … you … you … you … you dare to cheat, stand up for me!" ! "After that, nine students stood up.

Mother often tells the sheep: "Don't sway when wearing a skirt;" Or the little boy will see the underwear inside! "

One day, Yangyang said happily to his mother, "Today I played on the swing with Xiaoming, and I won!" "

Mother said angrily, "didn't I tell you?" Don't put on a skirt! "

Yang Yang proudly said, "But I'm so smart! I took off my underwear so that he couldn't see my underwear! "

One day on the bus, a man and a woman collided because of the crowd.

The fashionable girl turned around and said, "Are you sick?"

The man felt puzzled and replied, "Do you have any medicine?"

The people in the car snickered!

The woman felt very angry and replied, "Are you mentally ill?"

The man said coldly, "Can it be cured?"

The whole car is hilarious!

The bus driver stopped to lie on the steering wheel and laugh!

This is met by a friend who works in Zhujiang Road.

The bus was so crowded that a woman stood at the door.

A GG pushed out of the car from the rear,

Say "sorry, get off" to the woman, and the woman will move.

GG stepped on her when she pushed over.

As a result, the woman was so fierce that she scolded "You are crazy!" You're crazy! ~ ~ ",loud enough for the whole car to see.

GG was silent for a long time. When he got off the bus, he couldn't bear it. He turned to the woman and said, "Repeater!"

The whole car burst into laughter ~!

There are some funny children in the back who have been playing the scene just now.

A said, "You are crazy! . . . . . B said, "You repeat the machine. " .。 . . .

The whole car burst into laughter ~!

Later, a little MM wanted to get off the bus, too, and squeezed over and said timidly, "I ~ I ~ I want to go down, I'm not crazy ~!"

The whole car laughed again ~!

The woman didn't speak, and a word came from the side, "Are you out of power?"

The whole car is laughing ~!

Roommate classic slip of the tongue: I wash my hair and cook noodles. You see, when you come back, my head is cooked with noodles. ...

anxious ...

When we organized blood donation at school, we lay side by side on a row of recliners. One of the boys began to donate blood smoothly, but the blood actually began to flow back into the blood vessels from the middle blood bag. The doctor began to adjust the angle of the couch for him, and at the same time let his hand force the blood to come out.

The doctor adjusted him and said, "Push, push, push, and he will come out soon ~ ~" Haha, a group of us laughed on the spot, and the boy looked innocent and depressed.

I bought my mother a T-shirt that I love China the other day. My mother was very happy and said excitedly, let's wear it together today and have a seizure.

One Sunday at the end of last century, four of our good friends went to Xiangshan, where there were many people. Finally, I found a quiet place. I took out my broken camera and debugged it. My girlfriend A ran excitedly: "Whose camera?" Take a picture of me! "

I was distracted and heard "~ what camera ~", so Chen Chang proudly replied loudly: "It's a fool's! ……"

As a result, all three of them smiled brightly in the photo of 555555.

1, five yuan was kidnapped by a criminal gang, and called the hundred-dollar bill: "Hey! Your son is here. If you don't want us to kill him, trade yourself for him! " The hundred-dollar bill thought for a moment and said, "Tear it up, and you won't even have five dollars!

A man was starving in the desert when he found the magic lamp. Magic lamp: "I can only realize your one wish." Hurry up, I'm in a hurry. " Man: "I want a wife ..." The magic lamp immediately conjured up a beautiful woman, and then disdainfully said: "I'm starving, and I'm greedy for beauty! Pathetic! " Then he disappeared. Man: "... bread.

The earthworm family was bored this day, so the little earthworm cut himself in two to play badminton. Mother earthworm thinks this method is good, so she cuts herself into four pieces to play mahjong. Father earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat. Mother earthworm cried and said, "why are you so stupid?" You will die if you cut so hard! " Father earthworm said weakly ... I suddenly want to play football.

1 1, "I can't see things too far away," the patient said to the ophthalmologist. "Please follow me," the doctor took the patient outside and pointed to the sun in the sky. "What do you think that is?" "the sun." The patient replied. "Then how far do you want to see!

One day, the animals smelled an unpleasant smell in front of Guan Gong Temple. The snake said, "I am too young to fart so smelly." It must be a cow. " The cow said, "I eat grass, and I won't fart so smelly." The pig said, "people who fart will blush." Suddenly, Guan Gong rushed out, knocked the pig away, and said, "How many times have I told you, I was born blushing. 」

13 One day, a man met God ... God suddenly showed great kindness and planned to give that man a wish ... God asked ... Do you have any wishes ... The man thought about it ... I heard that cats have nine lives ... Then please give me nine lives ... God said ... Your wish came true ... One day, that man was bored. ..

7. My friends and I went to the top of Mount Tai to watch the sunrise. A friend pointed to the sky and said, "I see it!" " "I saw it too!" At this time, someone in the distance came out with trousers and scolded: "See it when you see it!" " What are you yelling about? "

Ghost: God, next time I want to be as white as an angel and put on a pair of wings, but I still want to suck blood.

God: Then reincarnate as a nurse.

One day, I took a biology exam, and one of the questions was to guess the name of a bird by looking at its legs. A student really couldn't understand it, so he tore up the paper in a rage and was ready to leave the examination room. The invigilator was very angry and asked him, "What class are you in? What's your name? " A student lifted his trousers and said, "Guess, guess."

After the performance of the beautiful Mongolian actress, the leader came to the stage to receive her, and then her hand asked her if she was cold or warm. She refused to let go for a long time and asked kindly, what's your name? The actress replied excitedly, "Maragobi Matsumoto".

In a public toilet, Mr. A was constipated and couldn't pull it out for a long time. Just then, another man, Mr. B, rushed in and pulled up happily as soon as he squatted down. After listening, Mr. A said, "Dude, I really envy you for playing so happily." Mr. B said, "What is there to envy? I haven't taken off my pants yet ... "

A fashionable woman got on the bus and saw that the seat was empty, so she took out a paper towel and wiped it for a while. She was just about to sit down and fart. A man next to her smiled and said, "I'm Kao Hua. I'm so fucking clean. I have to blow it after I wipe it."

A new sculpture was built in a school-a girl with a book in her left hand and a pigeon in her right hand. The school leaders openly call the students names in the school. There was an endless stream of replies, and one of them was the loudest: reading is for birds!

A man and a tiger were tied to two big trees, and there was a candle under the rope that tied the tiger. If the rope is burned, the tiger will eat the man. As a result, the man said a word and was not eaten by the tiger.

He said, "Happy birthday! ! "The tiger blew out the candle. ...

4 1. The wolf is just lovelorn. When he was foraging, he passed a hut and heard a man lecturing his child: "If you cry again, I will throw you out to feed the wolves. The child cried in the house all night, and the wolf stayed outside all night. When I got up in the morning, the wolf choked and said, men, men are liars! ! !

During ... ............

Child: He took off his clothes and put on his trousers.

Teacher's comment: Is he going to take it off? Still have to wear it?

Title: Among them

Children: I hurt my left foot.

Teacher's comment: Are you a centipede?

Title: One after another.

Child: After work, Dad goes home one after another.

Teacher's comment: How many dads do you have?

Theme: sadness

Child: There is a ditch in front of my house, which is really sad.

Teacher's comment: The teacher is even sadder.

Title: Once again

Child: My mother is short, tall, fat and thin.

Teacher's comment: Is your mother a deformed diamond?

Title: Look.

Children: What are you looking at? Never seen it?

Teacher's comment: Don't procrastinate too much.

Title: Prosperity.

Children write: bustling confession.

Teacher's comment: Don't watch too many series!

Theme: Delicious

Children write: delicious fart.

Teacher: .........

Title: Innocent.

The child wrote: It's really hot today.

Teacher's comment: You are so naive.

Title: Sure enough

The children said: I ate fruit yesterday. Then I drank cold water.

Teacher's comment: a sentence that cannot be separated.

Theme: ... first, then ... Example: eat first, then take a bath.

Children: Goodbye, sir!

Teacher's comments: .................

Title: In addition,

Child: A train passes by, besides, besides.

Teacher's comment: forget it if I die.

My husband is watching TV on the sofa, and my wife is sitting on her lap wrapped in a bath towel. She said charmingly, "Grandpa, you want a little girl, right?" Husband deliberately sat still: "no, uncle, I have no money today!" " "Wife:" What money is not money, just make the little girl happy, and make up an iou afterwards! ""my husband is dizzy, and there are debts in this matter!

The husband lifted his wife's chin in one hand and jokingly said, "Come on, girl, sing me a song!" " My wife patted my hand: "guest officer, please show some respect, little girl, I only sell my body, not my art!" " "Husband a surprised, hit a gun!

My husband is reading in bed after taking a shower. My wife came out of the bathroom and a hungry tiger jumped on me. She said coldly, "Hey, my little brother looks good, little girl. I want to try something fresh today!" " The husband fought to the death. Seeing her husband's intransigence, the wife gently turned around and said, "Grandpa, did you follow the little girl?" Husband said: "You give me a reason first!" The wife looked back cunningly: "My little girl just got out of prison and hasn't eaten meat for several years!" " "Husband said: My mother, this reason is very good, there is no reason for disobedience!

My son sleeps with his mother every night. Mom said: when you grow up, you marry a daughter-in-law and sleep with your mother? A: Yes. Mom said, what about your wife? The son said, let her sleep with her father. Dad said excitedly after listening: this child has been sensible since childhood!

QB, the white rabbit, ran after Big Wolf, and Big Wolf was indignant and chased after him. The rabbit dressed up as a gray rabbit and read the newspaper with glasses. The wolf asked, can you see a white rabbit? Rabbit: Is it the wolf's little white rabbit? Wolf shame: I'm KAO, so soon?

When the marriage law was revised, the typist accidentally changed monogamy to one wife a day. During the deliberation, it is generally reflected that this article has been changed well and kept pace with the times, but it is afraid that the supply of goods will not be available.

A shy boy finally got up the courage to ask his beloved girl: What kind of boy do you like? The girl said: hit it off. When the boy asked again, it was still the same. He had to say sadly, can't you have a flat head?

1. Freshmen are undergoing military training. Instructor assigned tasks:

"Class one kills chickens, class two steals eggs, and I'll cook porridge for you!"

"Huh?" The students were confused and didn't understand what he was saying. Later, a classmate saw the instructor's movements to understand what he meant:

First shot, second shot, I'll show you!

A prisoner escaped from prison, but unfortunately, he was caught after a night of searching. The warden asked, "Why did you escape from prison?" "Because the food in prison is really bad." "Then what did you use to break the iron bars on the fence?" "Last night's steamed bread."

3.

A man wanted to jump off a building, and his wife shouted, "honey, don't be impulsive, we still have a long way to go!" " "

The man heard a whoosh.

Afterwards, the policeman said to her, "You really shouldn't have threatened him like that!"

4. Happiness means that cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Altman beats small monsters.

Silence means that the judge asks: Why do you print counterfeit money? The criminal replied innocently: Because I can't print real money.

Desperately, I ordered two dishes in the canteen at noon. After eating the first one, I was shocked. "Is there anything worse in the world?" I cried after eating the second one. "There really is!

5. Teacher: Can you tell the difference between lyric novels and thrillers?

Health: A girl is wearing a long gauze skirt and strolling on the shallow beach. This is a lyric novel.

Teacher: What about horror movies?

Health: As long as the sea rises a few feet, it will become a thriller.

6. Just watching the news, it was reported that one night, a woman wanted to commit suicide by the moat, and there were many onlookers. Suddenly, a man jumped into a river two meters deep to save people, and everyone was admiring his righteous act. I'm afraid the man will swim to the woman's side in a hurry. Ah, it's not my wife!

7. Once upon a time, there was a bird that passed through a cornfield every day, but unfortunately, one day there was a fire in that cornfield and all the corn turned into popcorn! ! ! After the bird flew by ... it thought it was snowing, so it was very cold.

Xiaoming got a new haircut and came to school the next day. The students all laughed when they saw his new hairstyle: Xiao Ming, your head looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged, so he ran outside crying and flew away.

9. A man in Dujiangyan was buried for more than 50 hours in the earthquake, but he was still awake after being rescued. When the reporter went to interview, he saw the reporter holding a notebook and forgot to ask the reporter, can your notebook access the Internet? The reporter answered yes, and he said: Then help me accept the food.

10. Go by bus alone in the morning! But the car just left!

So I chased after it!

While chasing, he shouted, "Master, wait for me! Master, wait for me! Master * * * * * * "

Fortunately, the passengers stick their heads out of the window!

Shouted loudly: Wukong, stop chasing!

There is a child sitting at the door playing.

A middle-aged man asked him: Is your father at home?

A: At home.

The middle-aged man rang the doorbell for a long time, but no one answered the door.

So the man asked angrily, why don't you open the door?

The child said: I don't know, this is not my home!

12. A couple are chatting at home.

The husband said: I read the news yesterday that a nun was raped while walking in the park!

The wife said in surprise: "Who did it? Too wicked! "

The husband smiled and didn't answer.

The wife said angrily, "How can you still laugh at such a wicked thing?"

The husband said, "Because today's news reports that hundreds of nuns are walking in the park today."

13.a and B are discussing the classic old songs of the past ten years.

A asks B: "Have you ever heard of" A Man Crys Until Dawn "? That year was super red! "

B: "No, I haven't even heard the name."

A: "You are so rustic ~ I have never heard of it!"

B: "Then sing and watch ~"

A: "Listen carefully ~ You are always too soft-hearted to cry alone until dawn ~"

B: ...

14. A pair of nude statues have stood face to face in the park for decades. One day, Cupid, the god of love, came to them from the sky and said, "You two must be depressed if you can't do this every day. Today, I will let you become a person and do what you want! " But only fifteen minutes. "

Say that finish, the two statues turned into people, and the two men immediately jumped into the grass, and the haystack rustled. ...

Ten minutes later, they jumped out of the grass. Cupid said, "Alas, there are still five minutes. Enjoy it again. "

Say that finish, the two men looked at each other, smiled and jumped into the grass. ...

I vaguely heard the female statue say to the male statue, "I pinned this pigeon down, and now it's your turn to shit on its head."

15.

Male psychopath: "I want to talk to you." 」

Female psychosis: "What's the matter? 」

Male psychopath: (whispering) You must keep a secret. I am the son of a bodhisattva. 」

Female psychosis: "MD! When did I give birth to your son! 」

16. At noon one day, a beautifully dressed woman got off the taxi with a bag. Suddenly, the driver leaned out and shouted at her, Miss, you are like a chicken!

The beauty was furious and shouted at the driver, you fucking duck!

The driver timidly shrank his head and left. ...

Only then did I suddenly realize the beauty, chasing the taxi and shouting all the way: Master, my camera! My camera!

17. The centipede was bitten by a snake and sent to the hospital for emergency treatment. After diagnosis, the doctor said: for the spread of anti-virus liquid, it must be amputated! You have to hold on!

The centipede said: I have many legs! Cut it off! I can hold on!

Doctor comfort: relax, good brother, you will be an earthworm in the future.

18. Komatsu asked Xiaoming, "What will your parents do to you if you fail in the exam?" ? Women's singles are under 80. Men's singles are under 70. If it is "60", here is the mixed doubles!

19.

Neighbors play the piano at two o'clock in the middle of the night. Don't be angry. You can wake him up at four o'clock and tell him you appreciate his performance.

20. fire brigade: where is the fire? Alarm person: My home. Fire brigade: I mean, where? Policeman: In the kitchen. Fire brigade: I mean, how do we get there? Policeman: Don't you have a fire truck? !

2 1. On the bus in the morning, a man took out his mobile phone from his bag to check the time, and then said "I am Cao", thinking that his time was too late. I took a closer look, and Cao had an air conditioner remote control in his hand.

22. One day, the police station received a phone call, and the other party's voice was very urgent: "Sir! Help! Help! "

The operator said, "Miss! Take your time, what's going on? "

The voice screamed, "A cat climbed into our house!" " "

The operator comforted, "Miss, it's not a big problem for the cat to climb in."

"no! No way! This cat is dangerous! Very dangerous! " The operator patiently persuaded, "cats are really not dangerous ... miss, who are you?"

The other party replied: "I am a parrot! I am a parrot! "

23. I am too short.

Frye: Oh? How short is it?

Originally, I starred in Wu Dalang in Water Margin.

Frye: So short?

But the director said: You are not tall enough.

Once, after the bell rang, a boy rushed into the classroom and rushed to the last row. The teacher said: some students are late and come in through the back door. Don't influence others! After the boy sat down, he took out the steamed stuffed bun and took a bite. He found a beautiful MM beside him and kept staring at her. He thought that MM didn't eat breakfast either, so he gave her the steamed stuffed bun politely. The teacher spoke again, and this time his face turned pale: some students forgot when they were late, and they still had breakfast in class. Don't give the steamed stuffed bun to the teacher!

25. Teacher: "Xiao Ming, please make sentences with the Great Wall."

Xiaoming: "The Great Wall is very long"

Teacher: "This won't do. Make another one."

Xiao Ming: "Teacher, I am not Qin Shihuang. Not working. "

26. When I was driving that day, the speed electronic eye flashed at me, but I was definitely not speeding, so I went back and passed the electronic eye at a slower speed, and it flashed again. I was puzzled, tried again, and really flashed again. I thought it was fun, so I tried again at turtle speed. Later, I received four tickets for not wearing my seat belt. . .

27. God wanted to listen to music and took Chen Lin away. God wanted to watch the dance and took MJ away. God wanted to watch AV and took Okubo Matsuo away. God wanted to watch CCTV and took Luo Jing away. God wanted to read comics and took away Xiao Xin's Father. God wanted to go to the movies, so he took Leslie Cheung away. God wanted to see science and took Qian Xuesen away. God, why don't you watch China football? God said: Do you think I am stupid?

28. Husband and wife quarreled, and when they came home, their wives turned blue, and their husbands knew how to tease cats. The wife roared, "What are you doing with that dog?" Dave was surprised: "This is a cat, not a dog." The wife said, "I'm talking to the cat. Why did you interrupt? "

29. The prisoner was shot, but the first shot didn't go off because of the poor quality of the bullets. Then the second and third shots were fired ... At this time, the prisoner couldn't stand it and cried and said, "Brother, you strangle me!" This is so scary ... "

34. Teacher A was correcting an English composition when he suddenly went into a rage: "I have never seen such a poor English composition." Teacher B asked, "What is it?" Teacher A: "Write a story about a prince and a princess." "Yes," said B. "He actually wrote at the beginning that the prince asked the princess,' Can you speak Chinese? The princess answered' yes', and the rest were all in Chinese! "

35. Electrical appliances held a joke contest, stipulating that every electrical appliance should tell a joke, so that every audience at the scene would laugh, or they would be arrested in Aruba.

The washing machine was the first one to play. As soon as he finished his joke, all the audience burst out laughing.

Suddenly I heard the rice cooker say, "It's so cold ~ ~ ~"

So the washing machine was taken to Aruba.

Next is the smartest computer. As soon as his joke was finished, all the home appliances laughed.

I heard the rice cooker say, "It's so cold ~ ~ ~"

So! Computers were also brought to Aruba.

The third place is the most humorous desk lamp. The desk lamp confidently finished the joke, and everyone laughed and rolled on the ground.

The rice cooker said, "It's so cold ~ ~ ~"

Just as the desk lamp was about to be taken to Aruba, the rice cooker stood up angrily and turned to the refrigerator sitting behind him and said, "I'm full." Smile happily, right? Don't open your mouth so wide. Cold! "

36. A good-hearted man passed by a building. On the stairs, he saw a guy sitting on the steps, drunk as if waiting for someone to help him. So he went up to him and asked him, "Do you live here?"

"Yes!" The drunk replied.

"Do you want me to help you go home?"

"Yes!"

So he picked up the guy and dragged him to the second floor. Then he asked, "Do you live on this floor?"

"Yes!"

The kind-hearted man listened to his words, opened the door around him and stuffed the drunk in, because he didn't want the drunk's family to think that he had drunk him. When he went downstairs, to his surprise, he saw another drunk. He looked like the man just now, but he seemed very drunk. So I asked him if he needed help to take him home, and then dragged him to the second floor. After making it clear that he lived on this floor, he opened the door and stuffed him in.

However, God is joking with him. When he went downstairs, he found another drunk, and he was more drunk than the first two. However, after all, he is a kind-hearted man, carrying him to the second floor like helping the first two people and stuffing him into the door.

However, when he went downstairs, he saw a drunk again. He was just about to go over and ask what was going on. The drunk ran to the police not far away like a ghost and said to the police, "police, please take care of it." This guy has been taking me to the second floor and throwing me out of the elevator! "

37. There is a champion dog who fights with dogs everywhere, whether domestic or foreign, big or small, so he is called mental illness, and therefore he is arrogant-he will provoke other dogs and bark at them when he is free on the road.

One day, the owner of the champion dog was walking on the road with the champion dog and saw an old man holding a very big dog, and the champion dog barked at it again.

The owner thought, "If my champion dog wins this big dog, he must be very proud." .

So he said to the old man, "this old man, my dog is a champion dog." I want him to try to fight with your dog. I don't know if it's ok? "

Old man: "this ... is not good."

Master: "Never mind, if it really hurts your big dog, I will stop it."

Old man: "Still not good ..."

Before they could discuss it, the two animals began to fight @ # $%&; !

As a result ... the champion dog lost, which was extremely embarrassing. ...

Master: "this old gentleman, I want to ask you what kind of dog this is?"

Old man: "Well, it's not 38 yet. Four cowboys are talking about what is the fastest thing in the world while drinking in a bar.

The first cowboy said, "I think thinking should be the fastest." For example, when you accidentally poke your finger or touch a lit cigarette butt, your brain can quickly feel the pain and respond. "

"Maybe you are right, but I think," objected the second cowboy, "blinking is the fastest in the world. Think about it, you have been blinking, but you never feel that the image in front of you is intermittent. "

"Have you ever thought about light?" The third cowboy asked, "I think this is the fastest." Imagine, in a dark room, when you press the switch, the surroundings immediately become bright ... "

"No, no, no, you are all wrong. The fastest thing in the world is diarrhea! " The fourth cowboy put forward a very original opinion.

"Have loose bowels? Why? " The other three cowboys asked together.

"Last night, I was eating and drinking here. When I got home, I fell on the bed and got ready for bed. Suddenly I heard my stomach growling, so I didn't have time to think, blink and turn on the light! "

Before shaving, everyone called it' lion' ... "

A psychopath got shot again after he escaped from the hospital. Holding the gun in his arms, he went to a very remote alley, grabbed a passerby, pointed the gun at him and said, "1+ 1= what?" Passers-by thought for a long time and trembled and said, "2 ..."

Before his voice fell, the psychopath killed the passerby. Seeing passers-by fall, he said coldly, "You know too much ..."

4 1. I'm a 2000-year-old from Yunnan University, the same level as Ma Jiajue. Mark had an accident, but before he was arrested, the wanted order said that there would be tens of thousands of rewards for helping the public security organs catch Mark. Everyone is jealous, everyone wants to get that large sum of money, and they pay great attention to the faces of passers-by when they go to the streets. One day, I was sitting on the bus. There were not many people, only one person was standing. Suddenly, everyone stared at the man. When I look closely, it looks like Mark on the wanted list. Maybe everyone saw it and was nervous and excited. The atmosphere was so tense that the man was startled by everyone and shouted angrily, "I'm not Ma Jiajue! The bus driver is very responsible and says decisively that no one can get off. I'll drive to the police station. Everyone is ready to close all the windows at once. That man has a very helpless expression. Arriving at the police station, the driver proudly said to the police, someone in my car looks like Marek, so I drove away at once. The man said indignantly to the police, it's me again, officer. I have been caught here for the third time today.

The 42.5-year-old daughter asked her father to do something for her. Dad: "Dad is very tired. Give me a compliment, and I will be refreshed again. " Daughter: "Lao Zheng!" Dad: "Hey!" Daughter: "Your Niu Niu is really beautiful."

43. I lost a key while looking for my pocket. I didn't find it at that time, but I went back to find it later!

There was a couple on the roadside, and the man suddenly said excitedly, Whose is it? Whose is it?

I thought it was the key. Say it quickly, mine, mine! this is mine

Only later did I know that the woman was pregnant. . . .

Pity my face. . . It hurt for a few days

44. A couple found a letter in front of their house in the afternoon and sent it to them. Open it and say, "I invite you to a movie today, which is the first anniversary of our acquaintance ..." There is no signature behind it. Surprised, the couple took two movie tickets in the envelope and went to the movies at night. When I came home from work, I found that all my valuables had been looted. There is a letter on the desk, which reads: Do you know who invited you to the movies?

45. My heart was cold when I sent the paper. When I am nervous, I will forget all the words. Sounds familiar, but I don't know what I mean. Gestalt sorting two boundless, reading, tears a thousand lines. Go out of the examination room and meet your classmates. It's all the same and it hurts. I am ashamed to see my parents have made such achievements. Just wait for the announcement of the Ming dynasty, connect the noose and tie the beam.

46. The whole semester was ruined, and I was heartbroken near the exam. I haven't slept for a week. Before the exam, I memorized it. I collapsed when I walked into the examination room. I cried when I got the paper. I didn't take the exam and knew nothing about it.

47. The wedding is coming. Domestic brothers, with rich apartments but no money to live in humble dwellings, look at the inside and outside of the Great Wall, high-rise buildings and construction sites. People are surging, getting up early and staying up late, staying up all night. My mother-in-law said: only by buying a house can we meet the standards. If you need money, you will see a sea of people, but it is difficult to make room. Property prices are so high that countless heroes are overwhelmed. Yesterday, many dissenting Confucian Hanwu saw this and shook his head, but Tang Zong Song Zu did not move. A generation of Tianjiao and Genghis Khan still have to live in yurts!