Why do people have social phobia? What should I do?

I don't think everyone has social phobia, but I do have this symptom. I'm afraid to go to places where there are many strangers, and I'm afraid to communicate with strangers. I'm not good at communicating with people. I feel embarrassed, so I will choose a person more often.

I have thought about this problem before, and then I have come to some opinions.

First of all, I think it has something to do with my childhood living environment. I grew up in the countryside. So for the farmer's son, either people contact nature or they have to do farm work every day. Because of their low level of education, their parents will not deliberately ask me to treat people with these etiquette. I think this should be a bad place.

Secondly, although I started to meet many different people after school, I didn't know how to greet them and get along with them, so that in most cases it would make everyone look ugly. Over time, I was afraid to communicate with others because I was afraid of making mistakes, so I slowly began to be afraid of socializing.

Finally, after I go to work, although I have more contacts, I am often scolded for saying the wrong thing, because I can't say good things, which makes people feel unfriendly. This has caused me to form a vicious circle, and I am more and more afraid to communicate with people.

But now I am trying to change, so I have a new view. I hope the following suggestions will help you.

First of all, if you are really not good at communicating with people, don't deliberately change it. It will be counterproductive. You can get used to it and then learn to have your own views and opinions on things. When communicating with others, express seven points and leave three points for others. So people will take the initiative to talk to you.

Then read more interesting books, or interesting videos, jokes and the like to expand your knowledge. In this way, the more you know about things, the more opinions you have. Think of communication as an exchange of views.

Finally, learn to smile, smile at everyone and everything, and narrow the distance between people. Over time, everyone will take the initiative to chat with you.

So let's cheer together! Let's change the state of social fear together.

I am Zuo Shu, a psychology teacher who is engaged in psychology and mental health education. Let me answer your question.

First of all, explain what is social phobia?

Social phobia is a mental illness that occurs in adolescence, fearing and avoiding interpersonal communication. Mainly manifested in fear of eating in public places, feeling nervous when talking or talking with the opposite sex, and being afraid of being watched and watched; Patients know that this kind of psychological behavior is unnecessary, but they just can't control themselves; In addition to anxiety, the patient also showed symptoms such as redness, palpitation, sweating and nausea. Serious patients dare not look into the eyes of others, or into the eyes of the wicked.

Secondly, yes, why do people have social phobia?

According to the survey of clinical psychologists, 5% people in China have social phobia or social anxiety; Social phobia is the most common among teenagers and young people, with a higher proportion of women than men. Social phobia not only affects social life, but also makes a person have the possibility of suffering from other mental diseases, such as anxiety and depression.

Why do some people have social phobia?

Genetic factors, psychological factors and environmental factors will all cause social phobia.

One is genetic factors. If someone in your immediate family suffers from social phobia, then your susceptibility to social phobia is two or three times higher than others.

Second, psychological factors, social phobia may be related to your experience of being bullied or shameful events, such as being bullied and neglected since childhood, and your parents are very strict with you. These are all important reasons why you are afraid of socializing. At the same time, we psychologists also believe that social phobia is "learned", that is, cultivated, and we are not born with social phobia.

Third, environmental factors. If you often see others being laughed at in social situations and people often say that you can't talk when you grow up, these negative events will also become the cause of a person's social phobia.

Third, how to solve social phobia?

If it can't reach the level of social phobia, it is suggested to reduce social phobia through self-regulation; First, it is normal to change the way of thinking and feel anxious in social interaction, and everyone has social fear; The second is to change your interpretation of physiological reactions. Sometimes when you feel anxious in interpersonal communication, the physiological reaction will aggravate your anxiety. The physiological reaction at this time can be explained as excitement or excitement. The third is to regulate breathing. When you feel anxious, practice breathing, exhale slowly and inhale slowly. Fourth, divert attention. When you feel anxious, shift your attention from your reaction to the outside world. The fifth is to accept your uncomfortable feelings and improve your sensitivity to anxiety and discomfort.

Judging from your description, your social phobia has already constituted social phobia. I suggest you go to the psychiatric department or psychological department of the local hospital for psychotherapy. Cognitive behavioral therapy is an effective psychotherapy for social phobia. Cognitive behavioral therapy believes that most people with social phobia do not lack social skills, but social anxiety causes them to be unable to socialize normally. Cognitive behavioral therapy can solve patients' social phobia by changing their cognition.

I hope Zuo Shu, the psychology teacher, can help you. If you have different opinions, please leave a message in the comments section of psychology teacher Zuo Shu. We can continue to discuss and share our views.

Thank you again for inviting psychology teacher Zuo Shu!

Social phobia is mainly manifested as extreme anxiety when speaking in front of people or contacting people. But it doesn't mean that people with social phobia don't want to socialize and integrate into the group, but because of anxiety and fear, they often take an evasive attitude.

How to differentiate diagnosis can refer to the following points:

1. Are you afraid to answer questions, give speeches or perform in public?

2. Are you afraid to attend banquets and various group activities, or are you afraid that others are already seated?

Are you afraid of making a fool of yourself in public and being denied by others?

4. Have a strong sense of fear and anxiety about the first three items, avoid the above situation and affect daily life, or endure the above situation and have a strong fear for more than 6 months.

Social fear is mainly related to the following factors:

hereditary factor

Neurobiochemical factor

Psychosocial factors

Apart from genetic and neurological factors, what most people can do is to make psychological adjustment. That is, behavioral cognitive therapy in general psychology.

For "social fear", the reason why socializing is terrible is basically because they care about "themselves in the eyes of others". Self-awareness is biased and I am afraid of others' evaluation of myself.

Therefore, if you want to get rid of "social fear", you can start from the following aspects:

1. Control anxiety and divert attention. When we express or communicate with people in public, we can record the degree of our anxiety, practice slowly without being too anxious, and at the same time distract our attention from "others' evaluation of me" to observe other things, such as the layout of the room and people's clothes. Over time, anxiety will be reduced a lot.

2. Look for other modes of thinking. People who are "afraid of society" may easily think from one angle and habitually deny themselves because of some psychological trauma. But if we change our thinking and turn negation into affirmation, we will not be so afraid.

3. Learn to listen to others. When communicating, you don't need to focus on yourself, listen to what others say when you can't start the topic, just smile and nod, and you don't need to force yourself to give a good answer. Just relax yourself.

4. Exposure therapy and record your own changes. With the goal of overcoming "social fear", record every improvement and progress in daily life. For example, I can talk to strangers for 3 minutes and speak at a meeting later. In this way, you will gain more confidence from it.

5. Keep practicing actively. The process of fighting "social fear" will be very long, during which anxiety and fear will continue to appear. You need to be positive, practice and encourage yourself. Constantly recall good things and positive things, leaving no time for anxiety and fear.

Want to get rid of "social fear" completely, not overnight. Start with small communication, train yourself slowly and change your way of thinking. When you can completely correct the deviation of self-cognition, you will get rid of "social fear".

It is enough to say that you are afraid, but it is not bad to like someone. Good people like to be alone for a reason.

I think of myself, social fear may be due to phenotypic personality.

I expect to make a good impression on each other, but I can't.

This entanglement gradually turned the fear of socializing into panic.

The solution has three steps.

First, accept your own ordinary. No one in the world is perfect, so don't be too hard on yourself.

Second, accompany the society. You must have friends who get along naturally and meet strangers with them.

Third, record and analyze social interaction. Whenever you feel uncomfortable socially, write down the time, place, people, events and other attributes to understand the reasons for your discomfort.

Give yourself some time.

Be kind to yourself and the world will be kind to you.

People are born lonely. If a person is comfortable, why not? Being alone is not a social phobia. Have a strong social desire and fear of social failure, and the conflict between them will form social phobia!

In fact, many times what we call social phobia is not real social phobia, but people or topics that are unfamiliar or * * *.

We often hear such a sentence in books, on the internet and in chats. "The more people there are in the end, the fewer intimate friends and the fewer people who can keep in touch."

On the one hand, with the growth of our age, the change of social environment and the constant change of life rhythm, the lifestyle of each of us is slowly changing. For example, when we were young, we loved to be lively and joking, but now we don't like to rub around. More people are more annoying and tired. For example, we used to like to go to ktv and discos, and we liked to attend large parties. Now we like three friends to find a quiet place to have tea and chat, or play games and watch plays on the sofa at home.

On the other hand, with the change of our roles, for example, we have changed from a child and a single youth to a father, a mother, a husband and a wife, and the edges and corners of our personality have gradually smoothed out, and we have gradually realized the ordinary contentment of life. Time is like quicksand, what should be left will go, what should be left will always be there, and there is no need to change anything deliberately.

I'm just a social phobia, but I'm much better now It was very serious when I first came out, mainly because I was introverted and not confident enough.

Hello.

Social phobia is actually caused by long-term solitude, which leads to poor language communication, lack of self-confidence, fear of saying the wrong thing, anxiety, fear and depression.

May be accompanied by low self-evaluation, fear of criticism, may appear blushing, shaking hands, nausea or urgency. Symptoms may develop to the point of panic attack. Once you find that others are paying attention to you, you will be unnatural, afraid to look up, afraid to look at people, even ashamed, afraid to speak in public, afraid to sit in front of the conference table, so you will avoid socializing, which may lead to social isolation in extreme cases.

In fact, liberation is also very simple. Chat with friends and many people every day and stick to it for a while. Some people are afraid of socializing because they can't find a topic, and they are afraid that saying the wrong thing will lead to silence.

In fact, finding a topic is very simple, find a suitable topic. Actually, we can talk about anything. Can talk about cooking, knitting, fashion furniture, friends and relatives, basketball, football; Can discuss books, newspapers, dramas, movies, current affairs news and national politics; You can tell stories and anecdotes; You can talk about the new ideas and opinions you have acquired, and your views on these ideas and opinions are more important than the ideas and opinions themselves.

Let's see how to talk with strangers easily and happily.

If you meet a stranger for something, try to get to know that person, his occupation and interests from his friends first.

When you walk into a stranger's house, observe carefully and look for clues that can help you understand the owner, such as what paintings and books are hung in his house. Don't talk about them if you don't like their antiques; Find out what you appreciate and are interested in as a topic.

Pay special attention to introducing strangers to you. For example, when you hear "Mr. Carl has just returned from the Middle East", you can ask some questions about current events in the Middle East, or ask him to talk about his work there, or just say that you are glad to have the opportunity to hear some news from that distant place. In this way, you may get to know him faster.

Talking about yourself can lead others to talk about himself.

You can ask him personally, but don't ask too many questions, but obviously you can't ask him about his salary. If the host works in a steel mill, you can ask other guests, "Are you in a steel mill, too?" If so, you can show interest and ask some further questions; If he answers you what he is doing, you can start from here.

The first few words a stranger says can often give you clues about his interests, so pay special attention.

Others may be more nervous than you, so you can talk to him about some light topics.

Pay attention to the changes of other people's tone, expression and gestures, when they cheer up, when they lose interest. Let your conversation improvise.

Avoidance of strangers will cause controversy and anger.

In life, you inevitably have to deal with all kinds of people. Socialization is an important aspect of performing arts. You may need to talk to important people, express your views in public, and appear in various social occasions such as negotiations, cocktail parties and dinners. However, maybe you always shrink back involuntarily, or bite the bullet and let a good opportunity slip away because of your bad behavior. You are upset and regretful, but when the next opportunity comes, you start to be timid, hesitant, flustered and trembling. Over time, your self-confidence is exhausted in embarrassment again and again.

We can also overcome social phobia through our own efforts. The following methods can be used for reference:

Don't deny yourself, be positive about yourself. You can keep telling yourself: "I am the best", "Since God has given talents, let them find jobs!" .

Don't embarrass yourself. Do your best, as long as you do your best, it doesn't matter if you don't succeed.

(3) Don't recall the unpleasant past. Let bygones be bygones, nothing is more important than now.

4 Be friendly to others. Helping others is the foundation of happiness. When helping others, you can forget your troubles and prove your value.

⑤ Find someone to talk to. If you are in trouble, you must say it. Find a trustworthy person to tell your troubles. Maybe others can't help you solve the problem, but at least they can let you vent.

6. Give yourself a few minutes to think and summarize yourself every day, so that you can constantly face new problems and challenges.

⑦ Go to crowded places, let people pass by, and try to give people a smile.

Everyone's personality is different. Introverts have social fear cards, and so do I.